Im 42 years old man...i have a girlfriend..and studying Yoga, Meditation and some basics of buddhism. I came from a Hindu religion but somehow the buddhism suits me more. I wonder if someone that is practicing buddhism or being a monk can be married to. Cos i love my girlfriend and thinking about getting married in couple of months...on the other hand i also feels like spending more time to study the buddhism and i also feel like to become a monk in the future.

Is there a middle way..like being married, studying buddhism and become a monk or is that not possible ?


  • 3
    Buddhists would be extinct if they couldn't! :) But monks(real) can't get married or have any sexual activities. Commented May 26, 2015 at 8:43
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    – Robin111
    Commented May 26, 2015 at 10:31

2 Answers 2


One can't get married while a monastic but one doesn't have to get a divorce to ordain although it might make it more difficult to get ordained if one was already married. It really comes down to one's intentions. If one is trying to become married and become a monk at the same time then one should deeply ponder one's intention. The Dhamma is truly about letting go and while in the beginning it is difficult to let go, mediators who are planning to ordain should plan to transcend sensual desire as well as planning on letting go of absolutely everything.


Monks cannot marry, but in your case best course of action is to practice as a lay person until you are fully ready to leave the householders responsibility and and become a monk. Being a monk would mean you will have to leave your girlfriend.

  • Why do you have to leave anyone?
    – Motivated
    Commented May 26, 2015 at 18:22
  • Monks are not permitted to have relationships. As a lay partitioner you can have a partner but when you enter monastic life you have to leave your family behind as per Theravada monastic system, Commented May 26, 2015 at 18:28
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    Theravada monks (or any "vinaya compliant" monks) probably do not marry, but I think marriage of monks is not unheard of, at least, apparently, in japan -- I've personally met two soto zen monk/nun couples.
    – user382
    Commented May 26, 2015 at 20:53
  • @Suminda Sirinath Salpitikorala - Why do you need to leave your family behind?
    – Motivated
    Commented May 27, 2015 at 18:05
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    @Motivated, going forth (into the monastic life) means leaving everything/everyone behind. Doesn't mean you can't speak to your family, but there are many rules which monastics must follow and many of them are geared towards creating conditions of solitude to create better conditions for practice and study. Solitude and family life doesn't mesh so well. :) This explains things very well if you are interested: The Bhikkus' Rules: A Guide for Laypeople.
    – Robin111
    Commented May 27, 2015 at 19:35

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