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I read the following on the internet by a Pali translator & independent monk some use as their first choice go to reference or 'refuge':

In any case, this makes it clear why the Sutta says the gandhabba must be present, while the Veda says Viśvāvasu must depart.... This is not something new, or something that has been left unaddressed by cultures in the past. Anxiety about potency and paternity is a fundamental component, perhaps the single most important distinguishing feature, of the male psyche, and forms the foundation of misogyny. Patriarchal institutions like marriage traditionally aimed to subjugate women, yes, but they also tried to temper the worst of men. In freeing women from patriarchal suppression, it is crucial to find ways to address this deeply irrational male anxiety.

On the gandhabba and male anxiety

In Early Buddhism:

  1. Is marriage a patriarchal institution?

  2. Is marriage the patriarchal subjugation of women?

  3. Is the above utterance read on the internet an example of the wrong view in MN 117 that there is no mother & no father?

Please quote Early Buddhist texts for & against the above propositions.

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Based on the sutta below, Buddhism adopts the middle way, which is slightly patriarchial in most cases.

The wife that malevolently rules over the husband is considered a bad type of wife.

Meanwhile, the wife that obeys the husband is considered good in two out of the four types of good wives.

A benevolent matriarch is considered good in one out of the four types of good wives.

And an equal wife who is like a best friend is considered good in one out of the four types of good wives.

The Buddha said this:

“With a mind full of hate and no kindness,
lusting for others, looking down on her husband,
she longs to murder him who paid the price for her.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a killer.

A woman’s husband earns his wealth
by applying oneself to a profession, trade, or farming.
And even if it’s only a little, she wants to take it.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a thief.

She’s an idle glutton who doesn’t want to work.
Her words are harsh, fierce, and rude.
She rules over him, though he rises early.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a lord.

She’s always caring and kind,
looking after her husband like a mother her child.
She keeps the wealth that he has earned secure.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a mother.

She respects her husband
as a younger sister respects her elder.
Conscientious, she does what her husband says.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a sister.

She’s delighted to see him,
like one reunited with a long-lost friend.
She’s well-raised, virtuous, and devoted.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a friend.

She has no anger
when threatened with violence by the rod.

Without hate or anger,
she endures her husband and does what he says.
A man’s wife of this sort
is called a wife and a bondservant.

The kinds of wives here called
killer, thief, and lord;
immoral, harsh, and lacking regard for others,
when their body breaks up they set course for hell.

But the kinds of wives here called
mother, sister, friend, and bondservant;
steadfast in their own morality,
restrained for a long time,

when their body breaks up
they set course for a good place.

Sujātā, these are the seven kinds of wife that a man can have. Which one of these are you?”

“Sir, from this day forth may the Buddha remember me as a wife like a bondservant.”
AN 7.63

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  • That is a lovely sutta, however I'm not that being a mother makes you a "matriarch", IMO you could still be a mother in a patriarchal society. "Archon" is a greek word that means "ruler", so that ("who is ruling?") is the literal question. Also, most of the discussion quoted in the OP is maybe not (only) patriarchy but more specifically patrilineality,
    – ChrisW
    Oct 23, 2023 at 9:49
  • @ChrisW OK. I imagined matriarchy here because it states "looking after her husband like a mother her child."
    – ruben2020
    Oct 23, 2023 at 10:24

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