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The Noble Eightfold Path is balanced in the development of virtue (sila), concentration (samadhi) and panna (wisdom).

Sila is composed of Right Speech, Right Action and Right Livelihood.
Samadhi is composed of Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration.
Panna is composed of Right View and Right Resolve / Intention.

The forerunner of the path is Right View.

The path includes the cultivation of wisdom and insight, in order to uproot the ten fetters.

In order to pursue both insight and concentration, first virtues (sila) must be well-established according to the Kimattha Sutta. Lay people are not discouraged from meditation - please see this answer.

There are also more tips regarding meditation involving the use of the middle way, including getting moderate sleep, food and sensual experiences, according to the tips by Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu in Chapter Six of his book "How to Meditate", which is entitled "Daily Life".

Perhaps, you want to review your progress so far, and ask yourself if you are truly progressing in a balanced way, taking into account all eight parts of the Noble Eightfold Path. The path to the end of suffering should not be reduced to meditation only.

Experiencing fear of losing your self, is a sign that you may not be ready yet to go deeper, or your path is not balanced. I can't tell you what is not right - you may need to find a proper teacher to instruct you further. A proper teacher should ensure that you continue on the Middle Way with the Right View, rather than falling into either extremes of practice (over-asceticism) or extremes of view (eternalism or annihilationhism).

It is also possible that when you are ready to go deeper, it makes more sense to leave the lay life (which is incompatible with losing interest in material concerns) and move to becoming a anagarika or novice monk, adhering to the Eight Precepts or Ten Precepts.

ruben2020
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