By trying to "control it", you are putting the (idea of) lust outside of yourself. In effect you are seeing "the lust" and yourself as two separate entities. That (conceived) separation sets up a duality. On one side is "lust", which it sounds like you are labeling as "bad". On the other side is self, which it sounds like you want to label as "good". ...
Argumentation is a tricky thing; it's easy to skip a step and before you realize it, you've got an argument whose premises don't actually necessitate their conclusion.
Premise: The whole point (in general) of keeping the [third] precept is to make good kamma both in mind and body.
Premise: Masturbation alters the mind state and creates bad mind-made kamma....
I think that the reason you only find references to homosexual activity in the vinaya is BECAUSE the vinaya is the only place where there is a need to be specific regarding sexual acts... Oral sex is still oral sex whether it's performed by a man or a woman, an animal or even yourself.
In the Suttas, the teachings, it doesn't matter if you are attracted to ...
Since you are seeking inspiration similar to the simile how one should eat as if they are eating their own child having lost in a desert, to understand the drawbacks of lust, I think Alagaddupama Sutta is a good place where Buddha gave ten similes to understand the true nature of sensual pleasure.
Here, Buddha says that one should see sensual pleasure as ...
It is classified as sexual misconduct. According to the Cunda Kammaraputa Sutta:
And how is one made impure in three ways by bodily action? There is
the case where a certain person takes life, is a hunter,
bloody-handed, devoted to killing & slaying, showing no mercy to
living beings. He takes what is not given. He takes, in the manner of
Ostensibly, yes, I can't imagine why it wouldn't be technically possible for the body to trigger an orgasm without any kind of mental attachment. Of course, it may be that there is some necessary mental trigger involved, but I doubt that is true.
In the vinaya there are several cases that seem to suggest involuntary (physical) sexual arousal involving heat ...
Is celibacy intrinsic to Buddhism?
The answer depends as follows:
As a householder, no, celibacy is not required. It is only required to abstain from improper sexual conduct. And what is improper sexual conduct?
He gets sexually involved with those who are protected by their
mothers, their fathers, their brothers, their sisters, their
relatives, or ...
Masturbation is unwholesome just like getting angry is unwholesome. Getting angry is not recommended, but it is not against a precept.
I think there is confusion with abrahmacariya precept taken with 8 and 10 precepts. This precept replaces the third sexual misconduct precept of regular followers and requires complete celibacy. Abstinence from sensual ...
Lust is a biological impulse without which you would not have been born in the first place.
So honor it and respect it as nature's method to keep our race going.
Thus, realize it a powerful force and there are also repercussions to bashing it down or inhibiting yourself. Don't use any method that involves self-criticism, self-judgment, self-harm, hatred, ...
The Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara can be seen as having an indeterminate gender. Quoting from this website
One interpretation of this development contends that the bodhisattva
is neither male or female but has transcended sexual distinctions
[...] the flowing drapery and soft contours of the body seen in
statues and paintings have been intentionally ...
The son's flesh simile is from SN 12.63 (Puttamansa Sutta: A Son's Flesh).
Lust is a very powerful force and it'd need a combination of various strategies to counteract it, everything including diets, moral disciplines, persistence, etc.
MN 20 (Vitakkasanthana Sutta: The Relaxation of Thoughts) suggests 5 helpful strategies to counter unwholesome thoughts:
The nature of the mind is to produce thoughts. Your question about controlling thoughts seems to imply an act of force.
Very well then, my friend, I will give you an analogy; for there are
cases where it is through the use of an analogy that intelligent
people can understand the meaning of what is being said.
— MN 24
It is similar to ...
Yes, they do something to lower sexual desire. Sexual desire is a form of sensual desire which is the first of the 5 Hindrances to meditation practice. The commentaries to the Satipatthana Sutta list 6 antidotes for sensual desire:
Learning how to meditate on impure objects
Devoting oneself to the meditation on the impure
Guarding the sense doors
So basically caught up in the social norms, i used to watch porn videos and masturbate and got a bit attached to it. Kept on doing it
for a few years.
Do not underestimate the harm & addictive character of pornography. Buddhism calls it a 'road to ruin' (DN 31). To ask your questions, you have been learning this via personal experience.
And 2 ...
The "five mindfulness trainings" obviously correspond to the traditional "five precepts".
So you can find more (by other authors) on that subject by searching for "third precept", for example Buddhism and Sex.
A lot of what what "appropriate ways" means is explained fairly clearly in the paragraph you referenced, i.e.
Aware of the suffering ...
The YouTube video "Ask A Monk: Pornography and Masturbation (and Addiction in General)" by Ven. Yuttadhammo may be helpful to you.
He discusses "interior causes for such lust" from the perspective of Dependent Origination in the video.
He says that we can break the cause of the arising of lust through wisdom.
One way suggested by him is to mentally take ...
"and later I regretted" -- remorse is a klesha, an obscuring emotion. Have you learned your lesson and decided what you will do differently now -- that's what matters for your growth, the constructive part, not the feeling of guilt which only weighs you down.
Don't try to force this on to your self. You could try parts of @Christopher-Lee's answer to a certain extent. This should not reverse polariser your mind in the opposite direction though. This is something to watch out for.
In addition to this always keep looking at the sensation when there is a lustful through or state of mind. You will see there are ...
Please be advised that, although many people will give you their take on how lust is to be "mindfully integrated" into daily life, this is the complete opposite of the Buddha's teaching.
Soṇa Sutta: Soṇa
It's not easy, living at home, to practice the holy life totally perfect, totally pure, a polished shell.
-- Ud 5.6
Bhikkhuni Sutta: The Nun
I am a Buddhist, happy, content prostitute. I am not a greedy person, nor am a sex addict (or anything of the like). This is the chapter in which my life is. I have used my current profession to touch the lives of many humans, male and female. I also do advocacy work for prostitutes and know that there are many different types of persons in the sex trade ...
Does it mean having sex with prostitute does not considered sexual
It does not break the 3rd precept, if both parties are proper(not belonging to the 20 kinds of improper partners). However, not breaking the 3rd precept does not mean you are not committing unwholesome Kamma. All sexual activities are unwholesome regardless of if you are not ...
We don't control the thoughts that arise in our minds. But we can look mindfully at everything. Look at that which you crave but without any fantasy, romance, or delusion involved. Look at the physical process exactly as it realistically is, step by step and moment by moment.
If you can truly strip away the fantasy (delusion), reality is simply not as ...
Sensual pleasure is one of the Five Hindrances which are like "canals dissipating the force [awareness/discernment strength] of a river current" as taught by the Buddha in AN 5.51:
"Sensual desire is an obstacle, a hindrance that overwhelms awareness and weakens discernment. Ill will... Sloth & drowsiness... Restlessness & anxiety... ...
I'm shocked at some of the responses here - to try to twist the precepts of Buddhism to condemn something that one finds personally abhorrent is counter to everything The Buddha taught.
Yes, allowing lust to dominate your thoughts is counter to the path of enlightenment but the question was that of homosexuality - not sex. Those that are quick to condemn ...
You don't need to have sex to be healthy and well. Otherwise, most Buddhist monks should be sick. Cheating breaks the 3rd precept. That is bad Karma for you.
Whether your wife agrees or not, associating with prostitutes has many bad consequences. You and your family's reputation can be tarnished. Higher risk of catching diseases. Your wealth will decrease. ...