10

Thanissaro Bhikkhu wrote,, For many of us, the most difficult part of practicing right speech lies in how we express our sense of humor. Especially here in America, we're used to getting laughs with exaggeration, sarcasm, group stereotypes, and pure silliness — all classic examples of wrong speech. If people get used to these sorts of careless humor, they ...


10

This sounds like an issue best analyzed according to the Buddha's teachings on right speech. The Buddha famously expounded how he personally determined how to decide on what to say in the Abhaya Sutta, saying: [1] In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), unendearing & ...


8

This question is addressed in the Abhaya Sutta from the Buddha himself, on the topic of Right Speech. Your question should fall under "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but unendearing & disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them." (Abhaya Sutta). From your same link on the ...


8

In order to answer this sort of question, you have to be clear on what the precepts are and what they are not. They are a set of intentional statements of will to keep a finite set of basic moral precepts. They are not an all-encompassing treatise on morality. So, the fourth precept, as Sankha Kulathantille says in his answer, relates to a specific type of ...


8

In Kakacupama Sutta, the Buddha says: "Monks, there are these five aspects of speech by which others may address you: timely or untimely, true or false, affectionate or harsh, beneficial or unbeneficial, with a mind of good-will or with inner hate. Others may address you in a timely way or an untimely way. They may address you with what is true or what is ...


7

It seems to be difficult at times dealing with people. People can Pull your strings and push all your buttons to make you react an contribute to their state of anger or gossip or ignorance. Through my studies of Buddhism. I found meditation is a must, Learning to center yourself an to improve your focus. The Eightfold Path is like the corner stone of my ...


7

I would suggest that it depends on how you relate to the success, your attitude to it. Relating an experience can be beneficial to the recipient in many cases, both in terms of use as a teaching and possibly of merit as you mention. In terms of telling about a successful experience as a teaching, this can be related to the Udayi Sutta in the Anguttara Nikaya,...


7

There are no Enlightened lies. Fourth precept is the one precept that the Bodhisatta has never said to have broken since he started cultivating Paramita, many Kalpas ago. Four conditions must be met to break this precept The statement must be untrue. There must be an intention to deceive. An effort must be made to deceive. The other person must know the ...


7

In a short piece called Right Speech by Thanissaro Bhikkhu he defines idle chatter as that "spoken with no purposeful intent at all". and he stresses the important of intention in speaking. Right speech, explained in negative terms, means avoiding four types of harmful speech: lies (words spoken with the intent of misrepresenting the truth); divisive ...


7

Sarcasm isn't a deliberate lie, because the intention isn't to lie or mislead, but it is wrong speech, because it has the capacity to hurt people. Per Buddhism, unless a statement is true and beneficial, it is not right speech. And joy derived from the suffering of others isn't wholesome. Ironically saying "You lied" to someone who is being obviously ...


7

There are a few tactics which I have employed in the workplace when dealing with people such as this. They don't ALWAYS work, but with some practice they can definitely help. 1) You can try to push the conversation off tangentially to a different subject. "Such and such customer did this when we were talking about the smith account." "Oh right, about the ...


7

The mind & body is disturbed, with agitation & stress ('hell'). Friends may be lost or social status (such as a job) may be lost, which results in deficiency & need ('hungry ghost'). Shame & regret will eventually arise internally (if the mind returns to a normal or 'human' state). Pharusā, bhikkhave, vācā āsevitā bhāvitā bahulīkatā ...


7

From Abhaya sutta: [1] In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them. [2] In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not ...


6

As a counter to the other answer, Wikipedia's article on upāya ('skillful means') describes the Parable of the burning house: The Lotus Sutra contains a famous upaya story about using the expedient means of white lies to rescue children from a burning building. There's a similar, modern. non-Buddhist term for this called Lie-to-children: Because some ...


6

Antagonising a boss may bring difficulties, but this is exactly why it is very hard to break away from samsara, it is often too easy to fold, and compromise just this one time. Dharma is not a magic formula that fixes all the problems of samsara, it merely teaches us to be okay with a hard landing if one's only choices are between soft quicksand, a rock and ...


6

What if you replied, something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way"? If so then your talk with your boss would be about the boss' feelings, instead of gossip about the client. Or ask, "Is he really so bad?" That would give the boss feedback that he is speaking negatively, and an opportunity to come up with a more balanced view. Or turn the conversation to ...


6

There is a famous parable by a founder of Tibetan Buddhism guru Padmasabhava comparing Right Concentration / Attention with Lion's Gaze. Modern Tibetan Buddhism teacher ven. Khenchen Palden Sherab Rinpoche explains: Padmasambhava said that when a stick is thrown to a dog, the dog will chase the stick. A dog’s gaze follows the object, the stick. The lion ...


6

you said: One shouldn't attach him/herself (to material matters). One should move toward truthfulness in all things and correct harm. but... the second one does not sound like a Buddhist principle... where did you get that from? The first one (nonattachment, dispassion) is a universally valid Buddhist principle. As a rule of thumb I would stick ...


5

Yes, the way I understand the fourth precept is: lying to myself is still lying. However, in my view, breaking the promise is only lying if done deliberately. If at the moment of making the promise I believed I would do it, then it was simply a case of ignorance on my part. Ignorance is Ok, as long as we learn from mistakes. To people who made serious ...


5

Make an effort to be mindful. Seeing things mindfully is seeing things as they are. What that means is when someone says something rude you just are hearing the sound of the rude words but not listening to the meaning of the words. "Seeing things as they are" means "experiencing things without any of the conceptual agreements we have made in the past". For ...


5

Of course lying is sometimes called for. Morality is not about mindlessly following rules, but in seeing beyond our egoic concerns and doing what the situation calls for (Skillful Means). Mindlessly following rules is how cults and death camps get started. Moral guidelines have a place, and more often than not, they should be followed. However, there is ...


5

If something upsets you, it is because you are delusional. If something upsets someone else, it is because they are delusional. If you want to avoid upsetting someone out of compassion then avoid the object of their delusional hatred, but if anyone claims that because the onus is on the other to avoid being upset that I can do whatever I want to, then they ...


5

MN58 Abhaya Sutta: (1) In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual/untrue, unbeneficial, and unendearing/disagreeable [i.e. painful - AV] to others -- he does not say them. (2) In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual/true but unbeneficial and unendearing/disagreeable to others -- he does not say them. (...


5

As a Buddhist, your boundaries & conduct in relationship should be clearly communicated. Just be honest with her.


4

What you've described is probably very common in meditation centres, unfortunately. This isn't from the Vinaya proper, but in the Brahmajāla Sutta, the Buddha goes over many views, starting with superficial views his followers have of him. Here's an excerpt from Bhikkhu Bodhi's translation: "It is, bhikkhus, only to trifling and insignificant matters, ...


4

The Buddha himself protested silently on at least two occasions in the Dhp commentary; both relate to his family, though. He never seems to have protested against the cruelty of kings, etc. and his actions seem always to have been in the form of teaching. A protest is always a showing that you are against something. If you are truly against it, this is ...


4

Here is a case of the Buddha himself justifying his speaking harsh words with a for-their-own-good type explanation from the Abhaya Sutta: Just yesterday, lord, I went to Nigantha Nataputta and... he said to me...'Come now, prince. Go to Gotama the contemplative and on arrival say this: "Lord, would the Tathagata say words that are unendearing & ...


4

Is it all a matter of perspective and/or perception? Each of us sees a circumstance from a set of values embedded in our experience & personality. Our culture, spiritual aspirations and social interactions also impose on us group expectations of how we should behave and in some respects what we do or do not say. There is most definitely the capacity to ...


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