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A very apt verse in the case of anger is this one from Dhammapada - Na Hi Verena Verani - Hatred is never appeased by Hatred. It is appeased only by loving kindness. Here is the Dhamma talk by Ven. Yuttadhammo on that particular verse. Although there are certain differences in anger and hatred, the basic approach will be the same - Remain equanimous by ...


5

One of my early teachers suggested: Externalize the core of anger within yourself as "not me". Meaning, you say to yourself "this is my ego getting angry", "this is my ego feeling hurt", or "this is my ego wants to feel superior" etc. Blame it on the ego, then discipline the ego like a misbehaving child. identify the source of anger in an attachment. You ...


4

Stop focusing on "other people" and focus on the experience. Focus on what causes anger to arise in the mind. ex: If someone scolds at you, it's just sound hitting the ears. What's wrong with sound hitting the ears? Why you need to get so upset about it? Anger arises due to ignorance. Ignorance personifies the experiences caused by bad Karma. That leads ...


4

When we want to deal with someone, we need to first understand that someone. The more information or knowledge we have of that someone, the easier it gets. Now in the case of your mother, isn't it obvious that she desires to stay on the phone as long as possible with you? She doesn't do the same when you're physically with her, because she's happy enough ...


3

In my understanding, it comes back to a central Buddhist concept of "attachment". We feel frustrated or angry, we get emotional about things, when we have a strong attachment or prejudice about how things are supposed to be. These prejudices or preconceptions come from some strong experiences we have in childhood, or from some books we trust, people we ...


3

Here are some sutta references that deal with subduing ill will and offer techniques for doing so. http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.162.than.html http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an10/an10.080.than.html http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.161.than.html http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/mahasati10.htm http://...


3

The first step in dealing with anger is to have a clear understanding of the psychology of anger. Anger can be defined as an emotion that has the function of giving overriding importance to addressing a perceived injustice in an energetic and focused manner. The perceived injustice can take many forms. As with all emotions, the mental process of addressing ...


3

The word 'retribution' means: ...punishment inflicted on someone as vengeance for a wrong or criminal act. The examples provided are not retribution but are matters of equity & justice. From a Buddhist perspective, one should proceed in a manner that does not harm oneself or the other. Focus on protecting oneself & one's assets rather than ...


3

There are countless examples of non-retaliation being depicted as admirable. One that comes to mind is this one: Is That So? Not that you'll necessarily find the mere fact that it's "admirable" is necessarily a good or sufficient reason -- instead a good reason includes to minimize suffering, allow the cessation of suffering, of those involved. I don't ...


3

Supreme Buddha said that even if someone were to cut you to pieces with a two-handed saw, if you got angry you wouldn’t be a true disciple of his -- Kakacupama Sutta: The Simile of the Saw, MN 21: “Dear Monks, if a person does not get angry or form a hateful mind even when he is dragged, placed upside down, moved his legs to sides, and cut with a saw, he ...


3

Notice that when you are reacting to something you are always assuming a self. An ego. So this could be a reaction to anything from the outside, not just insults. For example, if someone praises me, I notice my feeling easier and happier. Some sort of pride rises within. It could be described as stroking the ego. Same way with negative emotions, that is, ...


3

Well actually your question has 2 different aspects,so does the Buddhism. They are 'laukika' and 'lokottara'. The excellency of Buddhism always goes with its 'lokottara' content, where the path to nirwana. For a person who are in lokottara track, what to do when some one scolding is just to ignore. It is all about removing tanha from our mind. If we can't ...


2

Do not wish to be rid of your anger quickly, your anger is a very good teacher. In the same way that you might observe pain that arises in your legs when in sitting meditation, equanimously, when anger arises, know that it has arisen, know "this is anger", but do not be moved by it, let it arise and flow, feel its effects, and also observe it passing away. ...


2

Kindness is descriptive of a wholesome state of mind encompassing love and compassion. These states of mind arise in the absence of states of mind having greed, anger and delusion. Patience is the characteristic of bearing with some form of suffering (physical and/or mental). Being able to bear with suffering prevents mind states based on anger from ...


2

There are basically two ways to aproach everything. Two approaches to truth. Someone could answer this question and say, "If someone insults you then do X" I will try to answer more like, "Do X, so that if someone insults you then you will know how to do what is appropriate". Know that ultimately, you cant be insulted. Know that conceptually you can be ...


2

I think reflecting on how you yourself suffer when overcome by ‘negative’ off any emotion that causes you suffering. Realize and see, understand how you yourself suffer from this anger. You find a way to end it, simply because it’s better for you, not to mention others too. But, of course, you have stop the fight back impulse initially, and then examine how ...


2

It is one thing to be patient. It does NOT mean you have to always be a doormat. In other words: wisdom over compassion. Don't make the mistake of reading 'turn the other cheek' whenever you read the word 'compassion'. That is not how Buddhism works. A good parent knows that for their child to learn, they have to learn boundaries. Similarly, it is not ...


2

The Chachakka Sutta - The Six Sets of Six has been useful for me when noticeable unwholesome, wholesome or neutral states arise. It is an easy and deeply useful Sutta to memorize and I find its wisdom of great assistance while working to develop a still mind. With Metta


2

This is due to subtle Upadana. (clinging) There are three kinds of clinging. -Kama Upadana (it seems you have less of this) -Dithi upadana -Atta upadana. (perhaps this is your problem) -Silabbatha Upadana upādāna: Clinging; attachment; sustenance for becoming and birth — attachment to sensuality, to views, to precepts and practices, and to theories of the ...


1

I'm not sure sure if this is opinion based or not but my question is. is it fair to judge Vedehika, poorly (and does the sutta really do this). It seems like she was pushed to the breaking point Well, simply by going with what's described in sutta MN 21, it doesn't seem like Vedehika was really that gentle and peaceful. Let's see her reaction the very first ...


1

Good householder, coming after the original questioner (hopefully not inpatient that leaded to abounding account), Patient endurance: the foremost austerity. — Dhp 184 patient (kanti) is sayed to be the sibling of metta. So best treated like metta in action. Ingratitude and wrong view are the main reasons of inpatient: "And how is one made impure in ...


1

Patience is a very important character trait that one need to develop if you wish to walk this path. To develop this quality of ‘Kanthi’(Patience), it needs to be developed together with the other qualities of adhittana (unwavering determination), ariya metta (loving kindness to all irrespective of all odds), nekkhamma (renunciation), and upekkha (equanimity)...


1

Here's a sutta about an ideal way to respond to being "abused and criticized in foul and harsh words, reviled": Akkosa Sutta: Insult I think I interpret it literally, i.e. if someone uses harsh words I see it as a statement about their state of mind. You can maybe take it too far, e.g. if I irritate you and you tell me so, it may be wrong of me to assume ...


1

When we start thinking about a hateful person or a thing, it is ourselves that suffer. The mere mention of the name of someone that we despise will immediately make us think about those bad things that the person did, and get “worked up”. We cause this suffering to ourselves. If we retaliate, then things get even worse. So it is always better to think that ...


1

Excellent question! There are a few ways to detach yourself from someone insulting you that I tend to use. The first would be practicing something along the lines of ignorance is bliss in which you simply ignore - like water off a ducks back as they say. Your best friends are using your peripheral vision and assessing inside you are not emotionally affected ...


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First off, you have to realize selflessness. Selflessness is the entry-way to great understanding, and it is what sets us free from birth in the lower realms. Consider that your name or your label, whatever you could connect as an "identity" no longer points to You. Then, one can be patient. There is a lot of depth to the story: the good qualities of ...


1

Buddhists are supposed to be tolerate all things that are insensitive and even insulting of Buddhist sensibilities. @Supun in his answer has said to just ignore. It is true as insulting them back only transfers their problem to you. This person was probably having a bad day and took it out on you for some reason. If you reciprocate it can have negative ...


1

This desire to demonize an emotion is disturbing, and I have always had a problem with it. Anger is a useful emotion. It can allow us to react properly to a life threatening situation, either for ourselves or for another. The problem is not Anger. The problem is not being able to recognize when it is harming, rather than helping, the situation you are ...


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