12

I recall around 20 years ago an Australian university psychology professor wrote a local newspaper article about what he regarded as superior self-esteem in Thai children. I have lived in traditional (provincial/village) Thai culture & I can attest to this. I would suggest, at least for Thailand, this is obviously a combination of cultural factors, ...


11

No, there's no limit to practising metta. In Metta sutta it is mentioned that the one who practices this can do it anytime and anywhere. Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down free from drowsiness, one should sustain this recollection. Metta sutta This is one of the four protective meditations (metta, contemplation of the Buddha, ...


11

I agree with Dhammadhatu in that the different meditations seem confusing when you don't know what it is all about. When you know the underlying principle, you know how these different meditations actually approach same thing from slightly different angle, and you see how they try to explain something that is hard to explain in words, and emphasize what ...


10

Prevention is better than cure. It is easiest to tackle the mental pollution of unwholesome acts before it has happened - i.e. at the stage that desire is born. For the same reason, help groups like Alchoholics Anonymous say "Say no to the first drink" - call a sponsor or friend and get over the urge. Suicide hotlines work the same way - they would like us ...


10

A lot of people find metta practice hard. I find metta practice hard. Where I practice they have even run day retreats called 'I hate the metta bhvana' to try to address this. If I can maybe address some of you points with what I've been told and maybe my own experience I can't feel any metta being generated It does feel like the task is to pump out as ...


10

1- You are right. The first stage is meant to be (if not easy) at least easier than the others. It is why it is the first, because it is supposed to be what we can do from where we are. 3- It is true. I do not remember the instance, but it happened a long time ago. More recently, I was translating (actually interpreting) Kyabje Ahbay Rinpoche interview with ...


8

It appears unclear to you because you have not comprehended the essence of the Buddha's teachings. The Buddha did not teach any 'techniques'. The Buddha taught to abandon craving & other unwholesome mental states. When the mind is as pure as it can relatively be, it will automatically 'meditate' upon subtle internal object, such as breathing & ...


7

You don't need a benefactor to practice that type of metta; you just need someone who is dear to you; it just shouldn't be someone you could potentially desire sexually, or whom you are partial towards, like your children. The stages, according to the Visuddhimagga are as follows: cultivate metta towards yourself (useless, but a good example) cultivate ...


7

The way Trungpa Rinpoche explained metta, you must start with yourself. Sit and love yourself, respect yourself, give yourself a break - until you feel a relief. This may take days, weeks, or months - do not rush. The goal is to recover your sense of your own basic goodness, your fundamental sanity. Often we judge others because we are strict to ourselves. ...


7

"If music is a sensual desire , what's wrong with that?" The sense bases are dukkha: “Bhikkhus, the ear is impermanent. What is impermanent is suffering. What is suffering is nonself. What is nonself should be seen as it really is with correct wisdom thus: ‘This is not mine, this I am not, this is not my self.’ -- SN 35.1 The danger of sensual ...


7

OP: S.N. Goenka says if you practice Vipassana, you must not practice any other technique (but, even more confusingly, he also teaches Anapana and Metta) What is said by Goenka is that you should choose one technique and stick to it. If you choose the technique he teachers you have to follow the instructions properly without adding or subtracting or mixing ...


6

Last time I went on retreat we did some metta practice everyday and I found it very difficult in the same way you are describing. I didn't feel any genuine friendliness, I just felt irritated. One particular day I was feeling especially averse to it. The teacher gave a talk on metta and it made made me feel nothing but anger. After the session I begun doing ...


6

Generally you should not do Metta to: Lingavisabhāga (opposite sex - generally directed at a specific person) Kālakatapuggala (a dead person) See page 81 Seeing and Knowing revised edition by Pa Auk Sayadaw (Pa Auk Lineage) To develop the sublime abiding of loving-kindness (mettà), you need first of all be aware that it should not be developed towards a ...


6

I think this needs qualification. Metta towards oneself helps reduce self hate. So this is not completely useless. Also this is the basis of developing Metta to others. If you do not love yourself you cannot love others. [page 83 Knowing and Seeing - 4th Edition by Ven Pa-Auk Sayadaw] You cannot attain Jhana if the person is oneself, hence as a means to ...


6

I suppose the key point here is that, from Buddhist perspective, low self-esteem is considered high self-esteem in disguise -- I've heard numerous gurus' statement's to that regard. If you look up Buddhist definition for "conceit" (if I remember correctly), it says it means considering oneself better, worse, or equal to others. The way Thanissaro Bhikkhu ...


6

Metta is a type of samatha (tranquility, concentration; 2nd training) practice (with a particular object: loving-kindness), so it feels good and has other benefits -- but it does not produce any insight/wisdom. It is not a criticism, it is simply not its goal (just like eating does not produce wisdom, but is still something very useful). I've seen people ...


5

I think the answer lies in the practical part of Buddhism, i.e. insight meditation. When one practices insight meditation diligently one will come to see for oneself that all physical and mental phenomena are subject to the 3 signs of existence, i.e. Impermanence, Unsatisfactoriness and Not-self, i.e. the uncontrollable and ungovernable nature of phenomena. ...


5

I think your question contains an implication that one practicing metta will be inclined to do nothing for the person they feel friendly towards. This is not the case at all. A person with metta is inclined towards the benefit of others: For among these, loving-kindness is the way to purity for one who has much ill will, compassion is that for one who ...


5

IMO, you are mixing apples and oranges. Metta meditation is practiced towards "the state of brahmas" (AN 4.190 and AN 3.63), not one of the Four Jhanas. The "state of brahmas" (brahmapatta) is a state of non-dualistic unity with the world. The way to attain it, is through progressively expanding the context of Metta meditation, starting from yourself, to ...


5

According to my teacher, it is important to reconcile and forgive major issues we had had with our (now deceased) parents. There is a tremendous amount of emotional energy locked in grudges and negative memories. He advised that we imagine our parents standing in front of us, talk to them about our past issues, hug them, say I Understand Why You Did What You ...


5

There are some excellent answers already, so this is only in addition. Excessive individuality automatically produces self esteem issues. Modern Western culture largely prevalent everywhere today is very individualistic. All beings struggle with wanting freedom and also wanting society. One cannot be had without sacrificing the other. Little insects like ...


5

I have heard that Metta Meditation is the fastest way to a samadhi mind. How effectively fast is it? It depends on the practitioner. All beings have different Kamma. Some have sharp and balanced faculties and others must work more diligently on theirs. The initial effort/goal of any (Samatha)meditator must be to quiet down the five hindrances. They are an ...


4

Mettā jhāna. How to know. You should have continuous concentration with out any distracting thoughts for starters. Only after one attains should one reflect if they attained. Basically that means until you consistently get continuous concentration for one to three+ hours according to your determination at will, then you should reflect on the jhāna factors ...


4

Buddhist view on Anatta is: There is no solid core as everything in the physical and metal structure is changing and not permanent There is noting that you can absolutely control Hence there is nothing worthy of identifying as oneself In contrary contemporary view was: There was some small internal part which persists between lives The 5 aggregates are ...


4

This is a very subtle matter and can easily be misunderstood, even with proper references. The doctrine of anatta, not self, does not state that nothing exists. It's just that the idea of what you think it exists is completely mistaken. So the idea has no correspondence in reality and it is in that sense that the self doesn't exist. And this selfless, ever ...


4

I am going to try my reply, based on the assumption that by 'terrorists' you are referring to the recent events in Middle East, 'Sydney Siege', Charlie Hebdo and so forth. Personally I would take the following approach: Ensure my own 'safety' first By 'safety' I mean to ensure I do not lose my own Metta. Within the eternal tides of Samsara, the wellness ...


4

I have heard multiple teachers say it is okay to use a deceased person as the "benefactor" or "as the person you like or respect". If the purpose of Metta is to develop jhana and then profound feelings of loving kindness for all beings, then any benefactor living or deceased that helps you achieve this state should be acceptable. I'm not aware of any ...


4

Here I am listing some useful resources for an introduction to Vipassana as taught by S. N. Goenka in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin: An Introduction to Vipassana S. N. Goenka's Inspiring Speech at United Nations Eilona Ariel's (A documentary filmmaker and Vipassana meditator) TedX Talk Doing Time, Doing Vipassana - a documentary on use of Vipassana in ...


4

There are really just two aspects of meditations in Buddhism, as seen in Kimsuka Sutta: "Suppose, monk, that there were a royal frontier fortress with strong walls & ramparts and six gates. In it would be a wise, experienced, intelligent gatekeeper to keep out those he didn't know and to let in those he did. A swift pair of messengers, coming ...


3

I feel your pain, can recognize alot of what you wrote. I am forturnate to have found some guidance early because metta meditation is now very valuable for me The Four Immeasurable Minds First i like to say that it will be easier to have metta (love) if we have karuna (compassion), mudita (joy) and upeksha (equanimity and non-discrimination) so if you can ...


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