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30

It depends which Buddhism we are talking about: Both Theravada and Mahayana, including Zen, would consider romantic love a disease of the mind, a kind of pathological obsession. Theravada would offer the more universal emotion of metta instead -- the loving-kindness, although in Theravada it is usually applied as an antidote against hatred, for the benefit ...


13

All beings "fall in love" as a result of desire (Tanha) and attachment in our mind. Desire is caused by not transcending the true nature of our experience (Avijja). The Buddhist path is to eradicate Avijja which causes endless mental and physical suffering. Pemato jayati soko pemato jayati bhayam pemato vippamuttassa natthi soko kuto bhayam. ...


13

As my teacher explained, the reason we are needy and clingy is because we have not discovered how to be our own source of "energy". We are like babies depending on mothers' tits for nutrition, in this case emotional/psychosomatic nutrition. In order to become independent, we must learn to obtain energy by ourselves. The entire Buddhist path can be seen as a ...


7

A wise man should avoid unchastity as (he would avoid falling into) a pit of glowing charcoal. If unable to lead a celibate life, he should not go to another's wife. - Dhammika Sutta A layman is not expected to lead a celibate life. What you are expected as a Buddhist is to avoid sexual misconduct. Is it even possible to have a girlfriend/wife ...


7

From my own experience, at certain point in one's practice, one's ties with the regular world reduce so much that one no longer gets any energy from participating in mundane affairs ("There is nothing further for the sake of this world"). At this point one has only two choices: either go 100% hardcore ascetic ("Arhat") or engage with society in the teaching/...


7

As my teacher explained, living with the feeling of wrongness is the very essence of samsara. This constant feeling that you don't like your work, don't want to do it, and are forced to endure it only for survival - is NOT a normal condition. You should not force yourself to live like this year after year after year. When you have inner conflict, you don't ...


5

Buddhism is not about ignoring, denying or suppressing any feelings, it's about seeing them objectively- as feelings that have nothing to do with the self, states that simply arise and cease in the mind and nothing more. There is nothing unhealthy about this, in fact I think it is more unhealthy to obsess over strong emotions, crave for them to be returned ...


5

Modern neuroscience is catching up with Buddhism in this department it appears. Scientists have found romantic love activates the same addictive parts of the brain as cocaine. One journalist calls it the "terrifying neuroscience of romance," perhaps because to fault romance in our present culture is heresy, but equally science is the Oracle on the mountain ...


5

The one who wants to become a Buddhist should take refuge in the Triple-gem. It means taking spiritual guidance only from the Buddha, Dhamma and the Sangha. If you are a lay person, you are expected to put forth and honest effort to keep to the Five Precepts on a daily basis. Eight precepts are recommended on full moon days. Lay Buddhists are allowed to ...


5

Hatred never ceases through hatred in this world, only through non-hostility. This is an eternal law.


4

Above all, Buddhists teach not to obstruct one's own emotion... rather to accept and observe it. So don't let the idea of what an Arhat (a real Buddhist) would do to obstruct your own heart because if one does so... it will create even more karma. The behavior of a Buddha is not merely emulated but is the product of moral discipline, meditation, ...


4

Marriage does not guarantee happiness (some married people are unhappy). This answer includes advice about how to choose a marriage partner. And chapter 6 of A Happy Married Life (which is titled "Security, Respect and Responsibilities") identifies what attitudes and behaviour are recommended by Buddhist doctrine/scripture, between husband and wife. There ...


4

You don't have to love or hate your work. If happiness arises while at work, be mindful of it and if aversion arises while at work, be mindful of that too.


3

There 3 things interplay here: Kama Raga - attachment to sensual objects or objects arousing lust Chanda Raga - attachments to people (lovers, loved one's, family, friends) Suba Sanna - perception of beauty in the shape of the body So when you see a person the following can happen: Pleasure, displeasure, neutral sensation on how you perceive the person ...


3

Love is a very overloaded term. There are many different phenomena that fall under the umbrella label of "love": There is love as obsessive kama (liking/desire) towards someone or something. This should probably be classified as lobha (greed, obsessive desire). There is non-reciprocated love, longing for something you can't get. This is probably tanha (...


3

I understand that one is not expected to hold anything close or dear as it is impermanent and could change at any moment so how does one love another person? Leaving aside "love" for a moment, Buddhism teaches that conditioned things are impermanent and dissatisfactory. For example you might have a nice evening out with someone, however that evening won't ...


3

My friend, you are mistaken, what is nowadays considered falling in love only causes suffering, people want to feel loved because they think that will make them happy, that naturally creates suffering since they go through life seeking love as they think it will make them happy, when you are free, you only have love to give, this is what makes us truly ...


3

How should an aspiring Buddhist aim to lead his life and relate to the world? Imo Buddhism do not tell you how you 'should' live your life. Other people tell you how you should live your life. Buddhism will tell you what sort of lifestyles is wholesome and what is not. But whether to follow it or not is up to you. Because at the end of the day what you do ...


3

The Middle Way is not an extreme in itself. Mahayana swings towards concentrating on benefiting other first (more anatta-y), Theravada swings towards concentrating on benefiting oneself first (more anicca-y). In the end, whilst 'defining himself' as a meditator at heart, the Buddha never declined to answer an honest question on the Dhamma. It is important to ...


3

But how? I mean when someone blinded how they can realize their mistakes. And here Samana Johnan explained in his answer of my question - Does love mean crime? that it doesn't cease or conquer. I think that Andrei was answering the question, "Should I hate them?": and that the answer was, "No, you shouldn't." Samana Johann was trying to ...


3

No. Hatred, even if well-reasoned and rationalized generates negative kamma and negative energy nearly the same as someone injuring their own body. “… Hate is that one thing, bhikkhus. Abandon that and I guarantee you non-returning.” Beings corrupted by hate Go to rebirth in a bad bourn. But having rightly understood hate, Those with insight ...


3

Did the relationship fall apart because there was something lacking within yourself? If so you can cultivate that piece and try to win her back (lots of guides on the internet for techniques on this because women often validate in non one-on-one interaction)... or if you determine what was lacking is not worth it to you... it is not part of your life mission....


3

Loving kindness(Metta) is a state of the mind that arises and vanishes. It's not something that exists. For loving kindness to arise, one should see the lovable nature of beings. It does not require suffering. On the other hand, compassion requires seeing the helplessness in those overwhelmed by suffering. Happiness is also a state of mind that arises and ...


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