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6

I think it is best to ask the monastery, instead on Stack Exchange. IMHO, may I comment on a few things: What is one's motivation to become a monastery monk? Monks are messianic individuals who wish to vigorously study Buddha's teachings hoping one day to attain the highest level of wisdom to be able to deliver all beings from suffering. Responsibility ...


5

your best first try is this essay perhaps this When Do the Jhānas Become Necessary? While there seem to be no suttas that impose an inflexible rule to the effect that a lay noble disciple must possess the jhānas, there are at least two texts that explicitly ascribe all four jhānas to certain householders. One, found in the Citta-saṃyutta (SN 41:9/...


4

The Buddha says that there are two people that you can never repay, no matter what you do. They are your mother and your father. Again the Buddha said that there is one way that you can repay for all what they have done. That is to establish them in this Dhamma Path. It is not an easy task, as we are all full of defilements that muddy the waters and prevent ...


4

There are four terminological divisions of nirvana, and none of them is mara. Non-duality does not mean “that opposing terms depend upon each other”. Rather, we posit three types of dualistic appearances : appearance of conventionalities appearance of true existence appearance of the apprehended object and the apprehending consciousness as two different ...


4

In the same vein as ChrisW's answer, I would ask you, "You and I live different lives. I do not live your life. Is it appropriate for me to give advice?" The answer is generally "yes," especially in the position you have chosen to put yourself in, asking us for advice on this forum. =) So what is the difference between me giving you advice on a life I ...


3

Samatha = citta-samatha = Leading to wholesome mind = seclusion of unwholesome in 5 strings, kāmaguṇa. Vipassanā = samatha-vipassanā = Leading to sabbasaṅkhāra-samatha, nibbāna = seclusion of whole 5 clinging-aggregates. So, samatha is for taṇhā-carita (unwholesome often arise), vipassanā is for diṭṭhi-carita (wholesome often arise). People, who can't ...


3

The Pali suttas provided relationship advice, which is basically the same as modern professional relationship advice of sociologists & psychologists. Monks should give relationship advice from the teachings of the Buddha in the suttas. For example: Householders, if both husband and wife wish to see one another not only in this present time but also ...


3

Would you say that it is appropriate Yes. This book, for example, shows there's a whole bookful of advice in the suttas for laypeople -- and that (whole bookful) is without even trying to customise or select, specify, present, apply, offer that advice to specific laypeople with specific complaints. I am by nature quite skeptical and cannot really take a ...


3

There are several options for you. Keep the marriage life and visit a monastery for meditation for couple of weeks every six months. Give up the marriage and get ordained. But before you do that, make sure your family has a steady income to survive. Keep the marriage and meditate whenever your wife does not need you. Keep the marriage and just be mindful of ...


3

What changes do you need to make? What roadblocks do you believe you can't overcome in your current situation? Enlightenment can be attained no matter what your circumstances are in life are. Living using monastic princaples can assist in removing distractions that can be enticing, but if your practice is strong, you can walk the path no matter where you ...


3

In a comment you wrote, "I wander to find one in my nearest city but I return back with nothing. It's little bit hard." I'm thinking that you still have Dhamma when you don't have Sangha. I think you don't "cure" pain, but Dhamma might teach you to recognize it when it arises: e.g. something triggers a feeling of sorrow, and you can note, "this is sorrow". ...


3

If you analyse the Sutta, you will find those who became Arahants by just listening to discourse are people who have already perfected Sila and Samadhi. For instance Buddhas first disciples, five ascetics.


2

If you want to be happy, just give up everything in your mind . What I meant was do not have any kind of attachment to anything, at least try not to have attachments , the lesser the number of attachments the more happy you will be. Example : You can have every physical thing in the world , (money , cars, houses etc) but do not have any kind of attachment ...


2

There is a handy list of linked suttas at this link IV. The Happiness Visible in This Present Life P.A. Payutto's A Constitution for Living is most excellent & includes the sutta reference for each list. The Maha-Mangala Sutta is an excellent sutta.


2

looking for benefits is like doing business. When ever you care or help your parents or others who cannot help in return, As per bhagavad gita, krishna said you will get more energy and inner peace. To the society you become role model. Don't expect anything in return from your loved one's.


2

Helping parents engages the mind in the moral 'right view' of knowing what has been received as benefaction (gift; sacrifice) from one's parents & one's resultant reciprocal obligations (good actions to be performed). This is called 'katannukatavedi' ('gratitude'), namely, 'what others do for me; what I must do in return'. The Pali scriptures state: ...


2

The problem with "lay dhamma teachers" is that people don't take you seriously as a spiritual guide, if you are still a householder who's unable to give up sexual activities, gold etc. There might have been lay people who taught the Dhamma to small groups, but when there are many enlightened monks around, you don't get much recognition. In any case, a lay ...


2

As Buddhists, we take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma & Sangha. If you have strong suffering, the Sangha is important, where you can talk to & be with sincere & compassionate practitioners. You should find a good Buddhist group to visit. When I was dissatisfied with life, I left my family, country & home at 23 years old to search for something,...


2

In addition to Sankha's answer, I suggest that you could share the Dhamma with your spouse. According to Itivuttaka 100: "There are these two kinds of gifts: a gift of material things & a gift of the Dhamma. Of the two, this is supreme: a gift of the Dhamma. "There are these two kinds of sharing: sharing of material things & sharing of ...


2

My own failure in implementing what I learn has to do with the complexities of learning any skill. It's very difficult to go from simply learning something in a classroom to actually integrating it into your daily life. For example, a person may spend several years in university studying programming but to the company that takes him on as a junior developer ...


2

If AN 5.176 was a genuine sutta then most Buddhist laypeople would easily develop jhana and be not interested in sex. The fact that most Buddhist laypeople have not developed jhana & are unable to develop jhana shows neither jhana or vipassana are inherently suitable for most laypeople. For example, in SN 55.53, similar situation occurs where the lay ...


2

There's some talk about that here -- A Happy Married Life: A Buddhist Perspective THE HUSBAND The Buddha, in reply to a householder as to how a husband should minister to his wife declared that the husband should always honor and respect his wife, by being faithful to her, by giving her the requisite authority to manage domestic affairs and by giving her ...


2

There are several traditional takes on this. According to some commentary the Dhamma declines gradually so that there is a steady decline and progressive lack of higher attainments in the world until there are no attainments left. Based on this kind of reasoning some hold that there is a cap on what will be attained in our time, some hold that ...


1

Is samatha meditation more suited to lay people than vipassana? From Pali Canon it does not seem that Buddha ever taught "samatha meditation" and "vipassana meditation" as two distinct and separate meditation techniques. This seems to be a later generalization. What Buddha taught is meditation that has two aspects of "calming down" and "understanding" - to ...


1

I just got one more idea. Instead of you going on retreats, take your wife and children camping. Start out slow. Go somewhere that is peaceful, like a mountain lake., with other people nearby. No wilderness camping. Or go to a beach resort: Get in touch with nature with your family.


1

I think you should stay with your wife. Only you can really decide. You must think about reality. You made a promise to this woman and she made a promise to you. Also, though, many people get divorced, you must decide if wanting to go deeper into "pure" practice, is your only motive, well... Please read the Vimalakirti Sutra http://www2.kenyon.edu/Depts/...


1

Buddhism always recommends truthful (sacca) & gentle (soracca) speech in relationship. Three other qualities emphasised are: (i) training (dama) in self-improvement; (ii) patience (khanti); & (iii) sacrifice (caga). See link. At this time, the above qualities are obviously crucial in your 'rough spot'. However, the most important quality of ...


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