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The way I was taught Buddhism: identifying oneself with anything is a fetter. Self-identification is a form of clinging, and as such it inherently leads to conflict between "this" and "that", hence suffering.
Ego is a box made of stuff we identify with. Ego is not just being selfish, it is what makes us tremendously vulnerable.
Externally, avoid defining ...
15
Honestly I would say that it's not even a grey area. For me, investing in stocks in the meat industry is not in keeping with right livelihood. To quote the Vanijja Sutta in full
"Monks, a lay follower should not engage in five types of business.
Which five? Business in weapons, business in human beings, business in
meat, business in intoxicants, and ...
15
I don't suppose that any of us are qualified to advise you on your marriage or the optimal duration of it.
In theory, I really don't think it's fair to say that Buddhist love is non-romantic. The Nakulamata Sutta (AN 4:55) is a perfect counter-example; it is a promise the Buddha gave to a blissfully married couple to be united again in the next life. The ...
14
There's an apocryphal Christian story, that I heard or read long ago -- where somebody asks someone else (possibly a Buddhist):
Have you ever thought of becoming a Christian?
... to which the person replies:
If you mean a good Christian, like your Christ -- I don't have the courage.
But if you mean being a bad Christian, like you -- I ...
14
This is a profound question. Somebody may want to delve into spirituality because he is a "loser" and isn't prospering in life. This is not a new concept. In fact, the Ratthapala Sutta addresses this very point. You should go to the link and study the sutta in full.
In Majjhima Nikaya 82, we are introduced to the ascetic Ratthapala, who took up ...
13
Think of the followers of your former religion as people who believe that the earth is flat. There's no point getting angry at them. It's ok to argue with them in social circles if you feel it might be useful to some and if you are confident that you can handle it.
But if it is getting to the point that you start shouting at them or trash talking at them, ...
12
At a higher level the 8 fold path consists of 3 fold training:
Development of morality
Development of control or mastery over the mined
Development of knowledge of the reality pertaining to one's mind and cognitive process
There is nothing in the above which a lay person cannot develop or not reap benefits by developing.
Being a monk you have less ...
answered Nov 12 '14 at 7:05
Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena
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12
If someone is willing to be blessed the Buddha's way, then I could think of no more suitable & special words than the words from the Mangala Sutta that tells us what are the blessings in one's life:
To not associate with fools.
Those who drag us down with their foolishness; drunkards, layabouts etc.
To associate with the wise.
Those who ...
10
You are mixing up the monk's life with lay life. Lay people are only expected to follow the five precepts on regular days and the eight precepts on Poya days. So they can still get married and have children. You can still attain enlightenment while being a lay person. Visaka was a Sothapanna. But she married and had many children. A monk's life is more ...
10
It varies by sect. These questions generally attract a bunch of people who think you are advocating in-your-face Christian style evangelism.
The patterns I'm going to describe appear to be true for the US, Europe and Russia.
SGI. Works the hardest to gain new members and at least back in the 70s (80s?) was willing to send people out to interact with ...
10
This series of questions is quite involved and surely a book could be written to properly assess the status of how well a very traditional monastic community is holding up in modern times.
But a few things did come to mind that can be easily stated. Your comments are from people who are not currently part of the monastic tradition. They've made their ...
10
This is going to be one of those Zen answers that tend to irritate people.
When I asked my teacher this question, he said something like:
Mission, hmm... You want to be told what to do? Why?
This is not meant as teasing, it's a sincere invitation to sit and contemplate your personal answer to the above.
10
Well... I hate to say it (wink-wink)... but... having that rage and seeing that other religion as a collection of "lies" and those people as "liars" does say something about your level of realization in Buddhism. Yes, not very good.
You must change the way you relate to both, change the way you see it. Buddhism must not be handled as if it was a position of ...
9
I had a similar experience when I wrote a program that would kind of simulate the experience of past lives that the Buddha talks about.
It randomly distributes your previous births
around various kinds of beings into the distant
past:
+--------------+------------+------------+------------+
| Being | Born | Died | Age |
+-----------...
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I started to read a book, The Buddha's Teachings on Prosperity written by Bhikkhu Basnagoda Rahula.
This book says:
The Buddha recognizes and admires happiness
The Buddha wants laypeople (lay society) to be happy, prosperous, ethical
The Buddha says that worldly happiness (sensory satisfaction) and the happiness of renunciation (giving up sensory ...
9
The real answer is that one cannot - it is the caring that causes the suffering:
Seek no intimacy with the beloved and also not with the unloved, for not to see the beloved and to see the unloved, both are painful.
Therefore hold nothing dear, for separation from the dear is painful. There are no bonds for those who have nothing beloved or unloved.
From ...
9
The wise endowed with virtue shine forth like a burning fire,
gathering wealth as bees do honey and heaping it up like an ant hill.
Once wealth is accumulated, family and household life may follow.
By dividing wealth into four parts, true friendships are bound; One
part should be enjoyed; Two parts invested in business; And the fourth
set aside ...
9
When ever you question something that is supposedly controversial, they tell you to read more on buddhism
Leaving aside Buddhism even in any forums if you ask some basic questions some may not always be motivated to answer. This response is nothing much to do with Buddhism but more to do with internet culture. This is termed as Help Vampires. See: The Help ...
answered Apr 13 '16 at 8:34
Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena
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8
In a way it's up to you how you self-identify. For a long time I struggled with calling myself a Buddhist. I come from an atheist background so identifying with a religion of any sorts was a struggle. These days I would call myself a practicing Buddhist if asked. For me Buddhism only makes sense to the extent that I practice it. It isn't a set of beliefs ...
8
As long as what you are doing is not immoral in my case I would go along with what the others are doing.
Main point is by doing this you should not accumulate more fabrication. One way is to reduce contact through it is not very effective, which you are trying now.
The more effective way is to go along with the crowed but what every you do be mind full of ...
answered Dec 21 '14 at 6:33
Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena
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8
That kettle example tells me you admire a certain attitude to life, an attitude of doing things right, properly, with attention to fulfilling the essential function and not having undesired side-effects.
Extrapolating that a bit further, you probably have a tendency to seek the main point of ideas, you're not satisfied with the superficial - you want to get ...
7
In Zen we are not taught to abandon things. Instead we are taught to let go of our attachment to things. The key here is that it is not the things themselves that make us suffer, but it is our attachment to these things that make us suffer. Eliminating the things themselves is different than learning to liberate yourself from your own attachment to these ...
7
What do you think, how many generations shall do that nice life that we have at the moment (do "we"?) Assembling and metabolizing the Dharma should point away from short-term perspectives. The Buddha - in my understanding - proposed a kind of living, a kind of needs, a kind of "time-table" for a life (little for physical needs, lot for reflecting, meditating ...
7
Definitely no killing. That's the first among the Five Precept to be observed. Do what you can to help. If it's a large animal, call the local animal shelter helpline. If it's a small animal like a bird or a bug, at least move it to a safer place like under shade of a tree to avoid the hot sun and to prevent people from stepping on it, cover it with some ...
7
Routine is a good thing to have for a Buddhist, I believe. While this will vary person to person based on their circumstances, these are my suggestions to incorporate in a daily routine of a lay Buddhist.
Throughout the day continue to
maintain and develop the 10 skillful deeds.
efface and prevent the 10 unskillful deeds.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/...
7
I guess the reason why you were feeling hopeless is that you were anxious about the past, a memory ... but the past isn't something you can conveniently change.
You were also anxious about the future ... "I don't think a girl who know about my past will accept my love" ... but the future too is something you can't easily change ... it's beyond your control ...
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