A little personal background: my mom is Filipino, and my dad is Sinhalese (he professes to be Buddhist but is verbally, physically, and psychologically abusive). My mom is not a Buddhist but her life insights have enriched my Dhamma practice.
I see toxic people as bottles of poison or pesticide: you know they’re harmful if in contact with but you don’t have ...
It's correct that these things should not be contemplated due to their ability to destabilize the mind, making it less suitable for meditation practice. Thinking about such topics is useless from a Buddhist point of view.
Just be mindful of the habit and the thoughts when they arise. With time and practice they will subside.
In daily Life, I always trying to focus on single good thought so no
space for bad. When I did something, I tend to analyse it wether it is
good or bad. It is deep most of the time because I am trying to follow
five precepts. It seems like I am doing nothing wrong.
The above is correct, as the Buddha taught Rahula in MN 61.
So I trying to understand deeper ...
I don't understand your question fully.
In general the five spiritual faculties support one another. Ie wisdom or understanding cannot culminate without development of effort/perstence [putting in the work] and a development of samadhi which leads to knowledge & vision.
I will give sutta references
"Monks, these are the four developments of ...
It seems like you have developed a method of suppression which is favoured in the Theravada tradition - under certain circumstances. This isn't bad if done correctly, but you may find that whatever is suppressed must then find the next path of least resistance, usually through our emotions which, in turn, shapes our behaviour. This might be why you feel your ...