First, know that you are not alone. Nearly every person experiences something like this to varying degrees and intensity at some points in time.
Second, realize that this has nothing to do with her. This is about your own internal emotions and desires and fantasies. You are experiencing self-cherishing. In all of these obsessions and fantasies it is not an ...
Will I be reindividualised after death?
Perhaps the answer depends on whether you are "individualized" now?
In this answer, Yuttadhammo Bhikkhu wrote (emphasis mine),
I've talked about the subject before myself, and the conclusion I make is that it's not that Buddhists believe in rebirth, it's that we don't believe in death - the latter being ...
Is smoking tobacco acceptable in any school of Buddhism?
I read that smoking is done.
The Broken Buddha includes these (and other) references to smoking.
No Sri Lankan monk
would dare to smoke in public because this is believed to infringe the Vinaya but it is quite
acceptable for them to chew tobacco. Thailand’s Thammayut sect likewise considers ...
Generally speaking, I think you're right.
Ānanda, when one dwells contemplating gratification in things that can be clung to, craving increases. With craving as condition, [the rest of D.O. chain] comes to be…. Such is the origin of this whole mass of suffering. (SN 12.52-57, 12.60)
In addition to that standard explanation that goes from enjoying to ...
There is more subtlety to the mind's relationship to feelings than only craving or aversion. The Vedanās and the underlying tendencies that arise are described in the Pahana Sutta (SN 36.3) like this:
In the case of pleasant feelings, O monks, the underlying tendency to lust should be given up; in the case of painful feelings, the underlying tendency to ...
Taṇhā doesn't automatically have to relate to neutral feelings. Remember, the twelve links of dependent origination are talking about nessisary causation, not sufficient causation, so when the Buddha says
[W]ith feeling as condition, craving [comes to be]
the meaning is that feeling is necessary for craving to arise, and without feeling, craving can ...
Whatever experience we get used to and grow comfortable in -- with that we identify, to that we attach. Then anything that looks like it could help us get that experience again -- seems good to us, and anything that goes contrary to that -- seems bad to us.
Next time we see a sign, we recognize the form, we associate the name with that past experience. ...
You can have interest (Chanda) without craving.
It is craving one should abandon. More particularly your reaction to different feeling (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral) with unwholesome mental states (craving, aversion, ignorance). See: Pahāna Sutta.
If you like reading do so which delight or aversion to what you read.
What type(s) of attachment(s) are involved?
This is carving arising due to self-view.
There are 18 internal and external views across past, present and future making a total of 108 views of self rooted in carving.
18 Internal Preoccupations with Craving
(1) “I am”
(2) “I am this [I am like this]”
(3) “Thus am I [I am like that]”
(4) “I am otherwise”
(5) “I ...
It's kind of complex and would take a long time to explain in full details, but here's a simplified version:
There's a chain of reifications leading from craving to selfish action to self.
This is what was supposed to be explained in Dependent Origination but unfortunately most of the detailed descriptions seem to be lost. From bits and pieces available in ...
Kimattha Sutta (AN 11.1) explains the relationship of skillful virtues (sila) to Nibbana:
Ven. Ananda asked: “What is the purpose of skillful virtues? What is their reward?”
The Buddha's answer:
“Skillful virtues have freedom from remorse as their purpose, Ananda,
and freedom from remorse as their reward.”
“And what is the purpose of ...
Dukkha comes not just from craving, but from unsatisfied craving, in other words from inner conflict between "is" and "should".
Sila, Prajna, and Samadhi are three methods to remove and prevent that conflict: coarse, middling, and subtle conflict.
Sila helps remove and prevent coarse behavioral conflict, like obvious conflicted states of Obsession, ...
The three poisons, greed, anger, and delusion, constitute the base-causes for beings stuck in samsara. Of these, delusion is the root cause from which greed and aversion arise. Avidya (delusion) is the root chain of the Twelve Nidanas , from which all other conditions for continued becoming arise.
Through the arising of these twelve nidanas, based on ...
Chanda is acceptation to do something to an object. However, it is not decision (adhimokkha), or attachment (taṇhā). In vinaya pitaka, it often use as "agreement" (i.e.).
Unwholesome chanda without tanṇhā
Unwholesome chanda with sensual tanṇhā
Unwholesome chanda with becoming tanṇhā
Unwholesome chanda with unbecoming tanṇhā
My teacher always said, reality is your interpretation, you are in control of your perspective.
Buddha said, you should be in control of your perception enough to be able to see repulsive in the attractive, and attractive in the repulsive. Buddha said, this is done by 1) "fabricating a fabrication" and by 2) "looking with equanimity". Buddha spoke about "...
Reification is simpistic naive superficial perception. It's a generalization of the same problem that children have with toys. A child sees a new shiny toy and because he does not think deeply, because his perception is superficial - in his mind the toy is attractive and desirable.
Reification is seeing the outer image and buying into its glow, its fake ...
For me, craving is obsessive imagination and cyclical replay of a momentary situation in which a key sign of the desirable object is reconstructed by the mind and the sanna (perception or recognition) of the object by the sign occurs.
This sanna is then extended through a chain of associations into a sequence of memories, both good and bad, associated with ...
It's a "false dichotomy" to ask, "Is it this or that?" -- because it's both: they're related.
Given the "three poisons" (ignorance, desire, and aversion) I think that ignorance is described as the "root" of the other two -- it's because of ignorance that there's desire.
The word "ignorance" has a range of meanings: What is the difference between moha (...
A strong craving (Taṇhā) for enlightenment would not get you there as it is unwholesome.
You need some desire or motivation (Chanda) to get to enlightenment. But when you get there this desire is also no more. Say you want to go to the park you need some desire to get there. When you are there you no longer have the desire to go there.
Craving for ...
Interest in a topic can be craving (tanha). One of the six senses is the intellect and ideas are the sense-objects for the intellect. If a certain idea gives you pleasure, then you may be craving and even clinging to it. This is with respect to the craving to sensual pleasures (kama tanha).
Let's say you are an academic, and you take a keen interest in your ...
Kilesa has a residual impression which is called vāsanā which even arhats (other than the Buddha) have. Only a Buddha eliminates that. This is what drives habits. Many habits are reflexive and there no much thoughts of the intention behind it. If it is purely reflexive it does not have karmic consequences.
Initially, when you start doing something this is ...
I also had a girl that I loved so much and her presence is always on my mind till now .Its actually not a problem ,its beautiful ,because her idea in my mind was actually a discovery of myself ,her idea in my mind is not her ,its what I receive from her but it isn't her.Once you grasp this ,every time here presence ,her picture shows in your mind,her smile ,...
Ven.Yuttadhammo bhikkhu has given you proper advice. Being true to monkhood is being rooted and grounded in a Life of celibacy. The benefits of celibacy (sexual abstinence) are obviously not widely understood nor fully appreciated. Even though sex may be a natural, essential part of life, so is being stuck in a physical body along with all its severe ...
I feel like concentrating on impermanence and on the disadvantages, in
the midst of an emotion, works not as effective.
Yes, that's because what impermanence is not the one and only thing which need to be considered to uproot the cravings. No matter how hard you try can you get satisfied with any kind of cravings? It can be food. If you are fully ...
Hunger is not "craving" (tanha, technical Buddhist term). Craving is basically when you are in whatever state you are (let's call that X) and you imagine (visualize) some other state Y. And then you label Y as "desirable" and strongly wish that you were there, and then by inference state X becomes "unacceptable", hence you experience [mental/emotional] ...
"Will I be reindividualised after death?"
If craving is present, you will.
If craving is not present, you will not.
"Should I give up the desire for food and water in order to stop my
The aspirant who has liberated himself from all cravings should easily answer such a question.
Why is this so?
The aspirant, who is liberated from all ...