Might not be the easiest or most pleasant exercise but advice the Buddha gives in SN 15:11 could be of use at some of the times:
When you see someone who has fallen on hard times, overwhelmed with hard times, you should conclude: ‘We, too, have experienced just this sort of thing in the course of that long, long time.' [transmigration] ...
Try imagining ...
Ah, the story of the Bengali Tea Boy:
When the great Buddhist teacher Atisha went to Tibet [...] he was told
the people of Tibet were very good-natured, earthy, flexible, and
open; he decided they wouldn’t be irritating enough to push his
buttons. So he brought along with him a mean-tempered, ornery Bengali
tea boy. He felt that was the only way he could ...
Loud harshness is the voice of suffering. The Buddha spoke with quiet kindness:
DN30:2.24.2: “He never spoke a loud harsh word, insulting, quarrelsome, causing harm, rude, crushing the people.
One might avoid loudness, but that might be cruel. It might be kinder to listen with equanimity. That listening may ease your friend's suffering somewhat.
There would be no need to show it, but how ever:
Much karuṇā toward good householder suffering so much.
metta & mudita
Got it? Or to practical, to much at the essence?
Help your self out first, since if not abound sense pleasure, there is less to help and meanwhile compassion is contained in simply not harming, meaning be very serious in the precepts....