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You've already mentioned the relevance of SN56.11, so we might look at some finer points. For example, here we find a balance for our compassion: AN4.95:3.3: But the person who practices to benefit both themselves and others is the foremost, best, chief, highest, and finest of the four. And you've noted the importance of understanding good/bad deeds, so ...


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This isn't quite what you were asking, but on the subject of "too much guilt instead of improving ourselves", there's SN 42.8 which includes -- Take some teacher who has this doctrine and view: ‘Everyone who kills a living creature, steals, commits sexual misconduct, or lies goes to a place of loss, to hell.’ And there’s a disciple who is devoted ...


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You may be interested in AN 3.99, which states that by developing yourself in body, virtue and mind, a trifling evil deed that is done, will not bog you down: "Suppose that a man were to drop a salt crystal into a small amount of water in a cup. What do you think? Would the water in the cup become salty because of the salt crystal, and unfit to drink?&...


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I can recall these lines; Seeing others as yourself; don't wish suffering on anyone. One protects others by protecting oneself; one protects oneself by protecting others.


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