12
votes
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
The issue is mostly between you & your fiancé (rather than the guy) since it is your fiancé that must establish appropriate boundaries with the guy. If he is to remain your friend, naturally he ...
- 39.4k
10
votes
Is it helpful, how is it possible, to deal with anger by 'accepting' it with equanimity?
In Buddhism, there are many methods to deal with anger.
The method of accepting anger is a method of 'non-conflict'. By fully acknowledging & accepting anger in an open way, you can develop some ...
- 39.4k
7
votes
What does Buddhism say about how to manage other people's anger?
A very apt verse in the case of anger is this one from Dhammapada - Na Hi Verena Verani - Hatred is never appeased by Hatred. It is appeased only by loving kindness.
Here is the Dhamma talk by Ven. ...
- 1,209
7
votes
Accepted
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
If you are looking for a Buddhist answer you will have to accept that the Buddhist approach largely involves changing how you view the situation rather than changing what the situation is.
You haven'...
- 1,603
6
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
One of my early teachers suggested:
Externalize the core of anger within yourself as "not me". Meaning, you say to yourself "this is my ego getting angry", "this is my ego feeling hurt", or "this is ...
- 57.7k
5
votes
Accepted
Buddhism Perspective on Frustration
From the perspective of training I received, this is a (very) obvious case of "attachment" - to things being "right", and likely also to success and praise.
I suspect, your frustration and anger are ...
- 57.7k
5
votes
How can I talk to my mother (who idle-chatters) without getting angry?
When we want to deal with someone, we need to first understand that someone. The more information or knowledge we have of that someone, the easier it gets.
Now in the case of your mother, isn't it ...
- 552
5
votes
I need to know the names of the angels and their actions in Buddhism
There is no matching concept for the Abrahamic angelic doctrine, because the existence of god(s) is quite irrelevant to the goal of Buddhism: enlightenment, which can only be gained through personal ...
- 1,847
5
votes
How to escape Karma fight
I think the co-worker fighting is normal here
I don't think it's normal. Only once in my 40-year career (working in offices) have I heard someone raise their voice in anger.
Slapping somebody is ...
- 45.7k
4
votes
What does Buddhism say about how to manage other people's anger?
Stop focusing on "other people" and focus on the experience. Focus on what causes anger to arise in the mind.
ex: If someone scolds at you, it's just sound hitting the ears. What's wrong with sound ...
- 25.7k
4
votes
Accepted
What is a wrathful Buddha?
Wrathful Buddhas (or wrathful gurus for that matter) are not actually angry, in the way untrained people are. In Vajrayana before we even reach highest tantra, we learn to transmute emotions. If you ...
- 57.7k
4
votes
Hosting people who are making me feel angry
This is my personal favorite. I have had this happen so many times although the victim was my mother who had to do a lot of things and I contributed a bit in a constructive fashion. This seems to be a ...
- 2,234
4
votes
Accepted
Can anger be acceptable?
There is no place for anger in Buddhism for any reason.
Right effort is what is required.
- 5,609
4
votes
How to deal with nagging people?
To me it doesn't sound polite or kind to "deal with" family like you "deal with" a nuisance or a chore.
Your description of the problem sounds "conceited" as described ...
- 45.7k
3
votes
Dispelling anger
Here are some sutta references that deal with subduing ill will and offer techniques for doing so.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an05/an05.162.than.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/...
- 2,592
3
votes
Accepted
Reference request: no rest for those with ill will
Yes that's verse 3 of the opening chapter of the Dhammapada,
Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought. If with an impure mind a person speaks or acts suffering ...
- 45.7k
3
votes
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
There are 3 parties:
you
fiancé
3rd party
What you have is worry, hate and anger. This is normal for a worldling but this creates bad Karma and lower future for you.
Your fiancé is compassionate ...
3
votes
metta, anxiety, and anger
It is normal or expected for metta practise to bring up underlying mental states of non-metta.
Also, in Buddhism, to understand the quality of our 'friends' or 'associates' is also important (refer ...
- 39.4k
3
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
The first step in dealing with anger is to have a clear understanding of the psychology of anger.
Anger can be defined as an emotion that has the function of giving overriding importance to addressing ...
- 769
3
votes
Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?
Being offended is the very opposite of Buddhist practice. In the Assalāyana Sutta, the story is told about the seer Asita Devala, who was of dark skin, where the more the seer Asita Devala was ...
- 39.4k
3
votes
Accepted
Nature of Aversion
Both fear and disliking are unskillful as they are forms of aversion. However there is a mental state which appears as fear or disliking, but it is a form of wisdom that understands the danger of ...
- 25.7k
3
votes
What is the difference between anger and frustration?
If I remember correctly my Abhidharma lectures, both anger and frustration are the types of aversion. Anger is how aversion manifests when you feel that you are stronger than the object of your ...
- 57.7k
3
votes
Accepted
How to deal with people and colleagues who are angry, complaining or seeking attention?
Difficult question because you wouldn't want these angry people turning on you because such people in the workplace often do. These people are often loitering in the workplace and can be a real danger....
- 39.4k
3
votes
How to deal with nagging people?
You need to grow up and realize what you have in your life. A lot of people in the world never had a mother or a father. A lot of people didn’t grow up with a lot of money or choices. You sound like ...
- 418
2
votes
Dispelling anger
Do not wish to be rid of your anger quickly, your anger is a very good teacher. In the same way that you might observe pain that arises in your legs when in sitting meditation, equanimously, when ...
- 814
2
votes
(Radical) pacifism and governmental force (army, police, etc.)
Nations with Buddhism as a major religion are seldom pacifist. Take for example: Sri Lanka, Burma, Cambodia, Thailand, Korea, Japan, Nepal, or China. None of these governments practice pacifism now, ...
- 4,285
2
votes
(Radical) pacifism and governmental force (army, police, etc.)
I think this would take a political scientist to answer but I'll try to give a few thoughts on this.
I listened to a podcast a while ago where Owen Flanagan was arguing that Buddhism was ill suited ...
- 21k
2
votes
What is a wrathful Buddha?
To add to the other answers here, the wrathful Buddhas are often seen as protectors. Mahākāla for instance is just another form of Avalokiteśvara. He (mahakala) is considered the tantric "watchdog", ...
- 2,527
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