12
votes
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
The issue is mostly between you & your fiancé (rather than the guy) since it is your fiancé that must establish appropriate boundaries with the guy. If he is to remain your friend, naturally he ...
- 42.8k
10
votes
Is it helpful, how is it possible, to deal with anger by 'accepting' it with equanimity?
In Buddhism, there are many methods to deal with anger.
The method of accepting anger is a method of 'non-conflict'. By fully acknowledging & accepting anger in an open way, you can develop some ...
- 42.8k
7
votes
Accepted
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
If you are looking for a Buddhist answer you will have to accept that the Buddhist approach largely involves changing how you view the situation rather than changing what the situation is.
You haven'...
- 1,603
6
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
One of my early teachers suggested:
Externalize the core of anger within yourself as "not me". Meaning, you say to yourself "this is my ego getting angry", "this is my ego feeling hurt", or "this is ...
- 58.9k
5
votes
Accepted
Buddhism Perspective on Frustration
From the perspective of training I received, this is a (very) obvious case of "attachment" - to things being "right", and likely also to success and praise.
I suspect, your frustration and anger are ...
- 58.9k
5
votes
How can I talk to my mother (who idle-chatters) without getting angry?
When we want to deal with someone, we need to first understand that someone. The more information or knowledge we have of that someone, the easier it gets.
Now in the case of your mother, isn't it ...
- 552
5
votes
I need to know the names of the angels and their actions in Buddhism
There is no matching concept for the Abrahamic angelic doctrine, because the existence of god(s) is quite irrelevant to the goal of Buddhism: enlightenment, which can only be gained through personal ...
- 1,811
5
votes
How to escape Karma fight
I think the co-worker fighting is normal here
I don't think it's normal. Only once in my 40-year career (working in offices) have I heard someone raise their voice in anger.
Slapping somebody is ...
- 47.1k
4
votes
Hosting people who are making me feel angry
This is my personal favorite. I have had this happen so many times although the victim was my mother who had to do a lot of things and I contributed a bit in a constructive fashion. This seems to be a ...
- 2,242
4
votes
Accepted
Can anger be acceptable?
There is no place for anger in Buddhism for any reason.
Right effort is what is required.
- 5,603
3
votes
Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?
Being offended is the very opposite of Buddhist practice. In the Assalāyana Sutta, the story is told about the seer Asita Devala, who was of dark skin, where the more the seer Asita Devala was ...
- 42.8k
3
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
The first step in dealing with anger is to have a clear understanding of the psychology of anger.
Anger can be defined as an emotion that has the function of giving overriding importance to addressing ...
- 783
3
votes
Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me
There are 3 parties:
you
fiancé
3rd party
What you have is worry, hate and anger. This is normal for a worldling but this creates bad Karma and lower future for you.
Your fiancé is compassionate ...
3
votes
metta, anxiety, and anger
It is normal or expected for metta practise to bring up underlying mental states of non-metta.
Also, in Buddhism, to understand the quality of our 'friends' or 'associates' is also important (refer ...
- 42.8k
3
votes
Accepted
Nature of Aversion
Both fear and disliking are unskillful as they are forms of aversion. However there is a mental state which appears as fear or disliking, but it is a form of wisdom that understands the danger of ...
- 25.7k
3
votes
What is the difference between anger and frustration?
If I remember correctly my Abhidharma lectures, both anger and frustration are the types of aversion. Anger is how aversion manifests when you feel that you are stronger than the object of your ...
- 58.9k
3
votes
Accepted
How to deal with people and colleagues who are angry, complaining or seeking attention?
Difficult question because you wouldn't want these angry people turning on you because such people in the workplace often do. These people are often loitering in the workplace and can be a real danger....
- 42.8k
3
votes
How to deal with nagging people?
To me it doesn't sound polite or kind to "deal with" family like you "deal with" a nuisance or a chore.
Your description of the problem sounds "conceited" as described ...
- 47.1k
2
votes
Correct meditation Technique
I'd suggest to leave anapanasati behind, do low-concentration ("dry") vipassana which will make you face and learn to face the anger (you will learn how to not attach to it, let it come & go, not ...
- 951
2
votes
Correct meditation Technique
Wise-reflection (yoniso-manasikara) is generally recommended as a preliminary practice to formal (anapanasati) meditation.
Here, the practitioner reflects/thinks thoroughly with reason & wisdom ...
- 42.8k
2
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
The Chachakka Sutta - The Six Sets of Six has been useful for me when noticeable unwholesome, wholesome or neutral states arise. It is an easy and deeply useful Sutta to memorize and I find its ...
- 69
2
votes
Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?
Have you ever noticed the common phrase pairing:
"No offence meant." ... "None taken."
Also that you take offence with/at something?
Offence is only ever taken, never given.
In other words, it ...
- 469
2
votes
Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?
Do you mean the historical Buddha? Maybe not, maybe he wouldn't: "not very active at participating in conflicts" is my impression of him -- the Akkosa Sutta: Insult maybe explains why.
I think ...
- 47.1k
2
votes
Dealing with Anger and Criticism
I think reflecting on how you yourself suffer when overcome by ‘negative’ off any emotion that causes you suffering. Realize and see, understand how you yourself suffer from this anger. You find a way ...
- 89
2
votes
metta, anxiety, and anger
Are you practicing metta with a particular method? From what I know, most instructions don't recommend to start trying to develop metta to someone you have dislike towards, but to start with beings ...
- 1,775
2
votes
metta, anxiety, and anger
Metta is not the only guardian meditation. There’s a series of other meditations guardian meditations that you can check out, which are very helpful in using skillful perceptions to get the mind in ...
- 9,685
2
votes
Accepted
Dealing with Contempt and Social Comparison
May I suggest a book: Only don't know by Zen Master Seung Sah. It is not directly related to your problem, but I think its title provides an answer to your problem.
The way I deal with these sort of ...
- 58.9k
2
votes
Can anger be acceptable?
All passions including anger are to be removed but until you achieve perfection don't cut too deep, don’t remove the passion against ignorance.
Quoted below is from Shantideva's Bodhichryavatara / ...
- 21
2
votes
Can anger be acceptable?
Anger is unskillful and destructive. Anger gains its power from a lack of restraint--we explode at a problem and obliterate/kill it. Strong anger leads to killing. Given that the first precept is &...
- 9,477
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