12 votes

Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me

The issue is mostly between you & your fiancé (rather than the guy) since it is your fiancé that must establish appropriate boundaries with the guy. If he is to remain your friend, naturally he ...
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
10 votes

Is it helpful, how is it possible, to deal with anger by 'accepting' it with equanimity?

In Buddhism, there are many methods to deal with anger. The method of accepting anger is a method of 'non-conflict'. By fully acknowledging & accepting anger in an open way, you can develop some ...
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
7 votes
Accepted

Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me

If you are looking for a Buddhist answer you will have to accept that the Buddhist approach largely involves changing how you view the situation rather than changing what the situation is. You haven'...
Hugh's user avatar
  • 1,603
7 votes

What does Buddhism say about how to manage other people's anger?

A very apt verse in the case of anger is this one from Dhammapada - Na Hi Verena Verani - Hatred is never appeased by Hatred. It is appeased only by loving kindness. Here is the Dhamma talk by Ven. ...
TheDarkKnightRules's user avatar
6 votes

Dealing with Anger and Criticism

One of my early teachers suggested: Externalize the core of anger within yourself as "not me". Meaning, you say to yourself "this is my ego getting angry", "this is my ego feeling hurt", or "this is ...
Andriy Volkov's user avatar
  • 58.3k
5 votes
Accepted

Buddhism Perspective on Frustration

From the perspective of training I received, this is a (very) obvious case of "attachment" - to things being "right", and likely also to success and praise. I suspect, your frustration and anger are ...
Andriy Volkov's user avatar
  • 58.3k
5 votes

How can I talk to my mother (who idle-chatters) without getting angry?

When we want to deal with someone, we need to first understand that someone. The more information or knowledge we have of that someone, the easier it gets. Now in the case of your mother, isn't it ...
Kumāra Bhikkhu's user avatar
5 votes

I need to know the names of the angels and their actions in Buddhism

There is no matching concept for the Abrahamic angelic doctrine, because the existence of god(s) is quite irrelevant to the goal of Buddhism: enlightenment, which can only be gained through personal ...
Codosaur's user avatar
  • 1,811
5 votes

How to escape Karma fight

I think the co-worker fighting is normal here I don't think it's normal. Only once in my 40-year career (working in offices) have I heard someone raise their voice in anger. Slapping somebody is ...
ChrisW's user avatar
  • 46.5k
4 votes

What does Buddhism say about how to manage other people's anger?

Stop focusing on "other people" and focus on the experience. Focus on what causes anger to arise in the mind. ex: If someone scolds at you, it's just sound hitting the ears. What's wrong with sound ...
Sankha Kulathantille's user avatar
4 votes

Hosting people who are making me feel angry

This is my personal favorite. I have had this happen so many times although the victim was my mother who had to do a lot of things and I contributed a bit in a constructive fashion. This seems to be a ...
esh's user avatar
  • 2,244
4 votes
Accepted

Can anger be acceptable?

There is no place for anger in Buddhism for any reason. Right effort is what is required.
SarathW's user avatar
  • 5,607
3 votes

Hatred arising after a friend tried to make my fiancé cheat on me

There are 3 parties: you fiancé 3rd party What you have is worry, hate and anger. This is normal for a worldling but this creates bad Karma and lower future for you. Your fiancé is compassionate ...
Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena's user avatar
3 votes

metta, anxiety, and anger

It is normal or expected for metta practise to bring up underlying mental states of non-metta. Also, in Buddhism, to understand the quality of our 'friends' or 'associates' is also important (refer ...
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
3 votes

Dealing with Anger and Criticism

The first step in dealing with anger is to have a clear understanding of the psychology of anger. Anger can be defined as an emotion that has the function of giving overriding importance to addressing ...
Ronald Cowen's user avatar
3 votes

Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?

Being offended is the very opposite of Buddhist practice. In the Assalāyana Sutta, the story is told about the seer Asita Devala, who was of dark skin, where the more the seer Asita Devala was ...
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
3 votes
Accepted

Nature of Aversion

Both fear and disliking are unskillful as they are forms of aversion. However there is a mental state which appears as fear or disliking, but it is a form of wisdom that understands the danger of ...
Sankha Kulathantille's user avatar
3 votes

What is the difference between anger and frustration?

If I remember correctly my Abhidharma lectures, both anger and frustration are the types of aversion. Anger is how aversion manifests when you feel that you are stronger than the object of your ...
Andriy Volkov's user avatar
  • 58.3k
3 votes
Accepted

How to deal with people and colleagues who are angry, complaining or seeking attention?

Difficult question because you wouldn't want these angry people turning on you because such people in the workplace often do. These people are often loitering in the workplace and can be a real danger....
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
3 votes

How to deal with nagging people?

To me it doesn't sound polite or kind to "deal with" family like you "deal with" a nuisance or a chore. Your description of the problem sounds "conceited" as described ...
ChrisW's user avatar
  • 46.5k
2 votes

Love versus Hatred

I think they are connected -- at least according to Tibetan Buddhism, and perhaps according to other schools of Buddhism as well (1) -- and the connection is, as you said, misunderstanding. Wikipedia'...
ChrisW's user avatar
  • 46.5k
2 votes

Correct meditation Technique

I'd suggest to leave anapanasati behind, do low-concentration ("dry") vipassana which will make you face and learn to face the anger (you will learn how to not attach to it, let it come & go, not ...
eudoxos's user avatar
  • 951
2 votes

Correct meditation Technique

Wise-reflection (yoniso-manasikara) is generally recommended as a preliminary practice to formal (anapanasati) meditation. Here, the practitioner reflects/thinks thoroughly with reason & wisdom ...
Dhamma Dhatu's user avatar
  • 41.6k
2 votes

Dealing with Anger and Criticism

I think reflecting on how you yourself suffer when overcome by ‘negative’ off any emotion that causes you suffering. Realize and see, understand how you yourself suffer from this anger. You find a way ...
Mace Ayres's user avatar
2 votes

metta, anxiety, and anger

Are you practicing metta with a particular method? From what I know, most instructions don't recommend to start trying to develop metta to someone you have dislike towards, but to start with beings ...
OidaOudenEidos's user avatar
2 votes

metta, anxiety, and anger

Metta is not the only guardian meditation. There’s a series of other meditations guardian meditations that you can check out, which are very helpful in using skillful perceptions to get the mind in ...
Saptha Visuddhi's user avatar
2 votes

Dealing with Anger and Criticism

The Chachakka Sutta - The Six Sets of Six has been useful for me when noticeable unwholesome, wholesome or neutral states arise. It is an easy and deeply useful Sutta to memorize and I find its ...
StaceyH's user avatar
  • 69
2 votes

Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?

Do you mean the historical Buddha? Maybe not, maybe he wouldn't: "not very active at participating in conflicts" is my impression of him -- the Akkosa Sutta: Insult maybe explains why. I think ...
ChrisW's user avatar
  • 46.5k
2 votes

Would the Buddha Shelter us from being offended?

Have you ever noticed the common phrase pairing: "No offence meant." ... "None taken." Also that you take offence with/at something? Offence is only ever taken, never given. In other words, it ...
Majenko's user avatar
  • 469

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