Sex without attachment would be like scratching to feel itchy.

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The Buddha was more a bit more colorful in his teaching and compared the dangers of indiscriminate indulgence in sensual pleasures to embracing a burning bonfire:

> [AN7.72:1.6](https://suttacentral.net/an7.72/en/sujato#an7.72:1.6): “Mendicants, do you see that bonfire burning, blazing, and glowing?”

Sensual desire is quite powerful. And just like a bonfire, sensual desire also grows when fed and relished. Sensual desire is latent, like a tank of gas waiting for a match. For sexual pleasure in particular, our genes open up and give us access to that tank of gas at a certain age. We can't really be unattached to sensual desire without emptying that tank of gas.  Emptying the tank of gas is a bit of work, so putting more gas in the tank to light a fire seems a bit like scratching to get itchy. It would not makes sense.

Fortunately, sensual desire is the _fourth fetter_. There are three others fetters that precede the fourth fetter and with the relinquishing of each fetter, suffering decreases:

> [DN33:2.1.20](https://suttacentral.net/dn33/en/sujato#dn33:2.1.20): Five lower fetters:  
> [DN33:2.1.21](https://suttacentral.net/dn33/en/sujato#dn33:2.1.21): **identity view**, doubt, misapprehension of precepts and observances, **sensual desire**, and ill will.

It is indeed good to consider others instead of only oneself. When we consider the welfare of others, we can let go of identity view.