Questions tagged [attachment]

'Attachment' is a Buddhist concept which is sometimes also translated as 'clinging' or 'grasping'. The Sanskrit and Pali word is *Upādāna*, and the Tibetan is *len.pa (lenpa)*.

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16
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7answers
4k views

Isnt the desire for giving up the desires, a desire?

It looks like a loop. We know desires cause us suffering, however the desire to abandon desire looks like a desire too, right? I'm sure there is a trick, something to explain why it is different, so.....
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5answers
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Is it okay to seek financial gains as a layman?

I work in a highly competitive market, and often people around me only talk about money or finances or the global economy day in and day out. A few of my friends/interns were attracted to Buddhism ...
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8answers
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Confused about partner's practices. Need advice

My partner has an active interest in Buddhism and I have been confused about his state of mind for two years. Kindly help us out. The past two years have been a depression time for my family and ...
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12answers
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Is Buddhism "opposed" to striving, or working towards a goal that you really want

I've found that it is pleasant and exciting to work towards a goal, for example: wanting to run a 21km race, imagining the crowds, imagining the personal accomplishment. This requires a certain amount ...
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6answers
2k views

Explaining non-attachment to the very attached

I've been told by someone close to me that my meditation and desire to let go are very threatening to her. She sees sense desires, ego and attachments as very natural and wholesome, and my way of life ...
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8answers
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How can I remove my desire for a relationship/girlfriend?

For at least half of my life I've had an extremely strong desire to be in a relationship/have a girlfriend and though I've tried, I've been unsuccessful and this has brought me tremendous suffering to ...
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12answers
1k views

Attachment is a poison. Why is attachment to the Buddha and to Buddhist philosophy not a problem?

Attachment (aka craving or greed) is one of the Three Poisons. Why is attachment to Buddha not a poison? Perhaps it's related to the Tibetan Buddhist lojong "Don't make gods into demons"?
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10answers
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How to combine Buddhism with being a parent?

Buddhist philosophy says that we shouldn't get attached and try to form bonds with something and desire or crave it because everything is essentially impermanent and this will lead to suffering. But ...
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8answers
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Is it possible to have a romantic relationship without attachment?

Is it possible to have a romantic relationship without attachment? Just based on pure love and with equanimity?
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9answers
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Physical Exercise as a Monk?

Is a monk allowed to exercise the body in order to keep it fit and healthy? I reckon both 'healthy' and 'fit' as attachments, but is there an overall rule/teaching that explains this?
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Is it possible to experience powerful sensations, such as orgasm, without getting attached to it?

I used orgasm as an example because it is usually the strongest sensation one can feel due to everything involved and all the chemistry released in the body. Also, I would say that sexual activity ...
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6answers
971 views

Attachment vs legitimate need

I heard a talk by Ajahn Amaro that says that wherever I encounter dukkha, it is a sign that there is an attachment involved, that I can let go of and this way free myself from the dukkha. https://...
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5answers
272 views

Attachment to other people and beings?

How does one live a life with multiple relationships (family, girlfriends, friends, pets, etc) while not being attached to them(being aware it will end eventually and therefore do not dwell in Dukkha ...
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Did the Buddha say anything about attachment to meditation?

I was unable to meditate today and this left me feeling frustrated, disappointed and anxious about my practice. This type of emotional reaction seems equivalent to what occurs when one is prevented ...
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5answers
368 views

How to keep balance in the thin line between non attachment to reputation and "not caring about anything"

One of the main problems I had to deal with, when I started to meditate and study the Dhamma, was the consequence of giving up attachment to reputation and pride. Of course this is an extremelly ...
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9answers
312 views

Are all forms of Dukkha related to a sense of self?

A few days ago I started reading books about Paticcasamuppada because I realized how little and shallow was my understanding on this capital matter. Despite getting the gist of it, I still have ...
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6answers
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Why do the Noble Truths talk about 'craving', instead of about 'attachment'?

Further to these comments, why do the Noble Truths talk about 'craving', specifically, instead of about 'attachment'? Wouldn't they make as much sense, or even make more sense, if they identified ...
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4answers
800 views

Is it helpful to stay single if I am not going to become a monk?

In most Buddhist traditions, monks are expected to follow an austere life without being married or involved with another person, but what about lay people who are not going to become monks? ...
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4answers
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What Buddha's techniques I can use to uproot deep craving for a woman's love?

I am not geographically close to this woman, nor do I ever talk to her, she's just my teenage obsession that lingers on my mind. I am too much attached to my perceptions about how she is, and because ...
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3answers
190 views

Is it possible to achieve universal detachment? How?

I have, for some time, tried to detach from things in my life so I can find true happiness without needing anything. Although I have had some success detaching from some things, like the need to be ...
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11answers
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Rejecting clinging to both pleasure and displeasure

I recently listened to a talk by Ajahn Chah, in which he mentions (@ ~14:20-14:53) that wisdom is found when one clings to neither pleasure nor displeasure. This really created a dilemma in my head ...
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4answers
558 views

What is attachment as per Buddhism?

Is attachment some kind of love? Parental love, a smile that comes when we get a glance of a toddler, when we spent money on good for our beloved one's then that time what is it? As per my perception ...
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Do Buddhists need affection, physical touch or intimacy?

I am interested in learning about Buddhism, and there are a lot of questions. I wonder (since it seems to me Buddhists are quite independent, and they don't attach that much to people or things) what ...
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3answers
653 views

Living worried about the future and reaching mindfulness

I'm going through a lot. It's very easy to be lost in thoughts and worries about the near future, and that leads me to a life of unhappiness. I also feel guilty when I fell happy, because I feel I ...
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6answers
450 views

How to have a relationship

Every intimate relationship I have ever had has ended in a lot of pain and grief. The last one lasted for 17 years but eventually broke down. That was a year ago and the pain is still very raw at ...
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2answers
296 views

How to make sense of the Heart Sutra

I am very interested in the concept of emptiness and freeing myself of all attachments. Naturally I gravitated towards the heart sutra, the chant in particular is very moving. However I am completely ...
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3answers
267 views

Relationships : What is Love?

Recently i was wondering about Love and these thoughts came to my mind, i want to know if they are correct or not. As to Buddhism all sorts of love is "Attachment". And the is no such thing called a ...
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4answers
619 views

Is curiosity, for non Dhamma subjects, a bad thing?

Curiosity can lead to desire (for knowing something), attachment and therefore suffering. Also, questions based on pure curiosity were left unaswered by the Buddha On the other hand, curiosity is ...
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7answers
516 views

How to develop compassion while avoiding attachment?

The Buddha stressed compassion in his teachings. It seems that the more one tries to be compassionate towards people, a natural tendency of attachment develops. For example, it seems that if I try to ...
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6answers
1k views

Would Buddhists help non-Buddhists continuing their attachments?

Let's take 2 examples: A Buddhist notices a crying girl. After asking it turns out that she lost her mother, and don't know where to find her Alice and Bob has a complicated relationship. Bob wants ...
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4answers
322 views

Does buddhism allow for families?

I have studied Buddhism for a few years now, on and off, and this one question has been bugging me for a long time. Please correct me if I am wrong, however, the way that I understand it is that ...
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3answers
573 views

Is Physical Attraction or Appreciation of the Human Form Considered Attachment?

Naturally as humans we feel many forms of attraction to other humans, but I am curious to know: Is attraction (or more so, a mere appreciation of the human form) considered a form of desire and, by ...
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2answers
100 views

How far is attachment allowed?

My dog has run away and I am sad. To be honest I was probably not taking care of him the best as one possibly could. We both excelled or declined based on my success, but I tried to allow him his own ...
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6answers
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What's the aim of avoiding attachment?

I've recently started to research Buddhism, and one of the first area's I've been looking into is that of attachment. I found this quote - "Seeing through the delusion of separation means we no ...
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2answers
167 views

Are Habits a Kind of Attachment?

Some questions have already touched the nature of habits, namely in the sense of good habits or their benefits. This answer explains how attachment occur from a repeated desire to engage in the ...
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3answers
207 views

How to lose identification with my body and physical appearance

Ever since I was a child I was very look concious. I took pride from my looks and took shame from them as well. I'm at a point where my sense of worth is mainly derived from such an unstable, ...
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4answers
233 views

Sallatha Sutta and modern psychology

The Sallatha Sutta, famous for the idea of two arrows, has the following passages that are less often discussed. I am particularly interested in interpretations of the highlighted words and how they ...
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4answers
412 views

Is detachment all about not giving damn to peoples/things?

Detachment, Everything is lust and mirage What is the real purpose of life/birth? Aren't we suppose to love, care ?
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6answers
207 views

How do I recognize the attachment to certain things?

How do I know whether I am attached to ceratain things or not ? Examples: When we attached to the taste we will trying to find more & more tasty foods. We can reduce that by getting a simple ...
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4answers
771 views

Can Buddha be insulted by disrespect? [closed]

I found a video about Leshan Giant Buddha and was watching it with my family. In that video some workers were cleaning the statue's head while walking on it (it is a giant statue) - and my family ...
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5answers
279 views

Detachment : What are we really parting from?

I was thinking about detachment today and this thought occurred in my mind... We like what we see,hear,touch,smell,taste & think. This liking turns into attachment over time and this is the ...
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4answers
491 views

Can you reconcile (professional) ambition with buddhism?

I have been a practicioner of mindfulness and vipassana for a few years. I have felt that buddhism is at odds with striving towards professional success and ambition. Ambition and professional success ...
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7answers
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When is it love? When is it attachment?

I have this misunderstanding about love and attachment as they relate to one another. It's hard to put in words, so I'll try with some examples first. My understanding is that love is something you ...
3
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4answers
169 views

Attachment to practice itself

Is it wholesome to set expectations for one's own practice (e.g. to have a mind free of all Five Hindrances, or to have all Seven Factors of Awakening present)? To firmly commit to the path of ...
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2answers
144 views

What did the Buddha mean by 'development of the body'?

When that pleasant feeling had arisen in him, it didn't invade his mind and remain because of his development of the body. from MN 36 Maha-Saccaka Sutta translated by Thanissaro. Pleasant feeling (...
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1answer
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In what situations can letting go of attachments be painful?

From what I understand of the Buddhist path, letting go of attachments shouldn't be painful. Are there times when letting go will be painful and if there is, why are those times different than the ...
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1answer
67 views

Being at peace with mental phenomena

In an answer to Non-attachment as object of meditation, there was an interesting idea that the essence of many advanced practices is to be at peace with whatever happens in your phenomenal field - ...
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4answers
125 views

Are loving-kindness and compassion (metta and karuna) special kind of attachments?

To alleviate someone from suffering, Buddhism teaches one to practice mettā karuṇā. But it seems to me that to thinking good about someone and wish them the best, we need to have a better version of ...
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3answers
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Is smoking tobacco acceptable in any school of Buddhism?

Is smoking tobacco acceptable in any school of Buddhism? I think it shouldn't be considered acceptable: because of the fifth precept because of the first precept (smoking is physically harmful, so ...
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5answers
158 views

How can I end my attachment to holidays?

Every day I look forward to the day when there will be a holiday. Holiday brings a sense of relief to me. However I know this is a false sense of relief as after every holiday there will be a working ...