Questions tagged [attachment]

'Attachment' is a Buddhist concept which is sometimes also translated as 'clinging' or 'grasping'. The Sanskrit and Pali word is *Upādāna*, and the Tibetan is *len.pa (lenpa)*.

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7
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4answers
800 views

Is it helpful to stay single if I am not going to become a monk?

In most Buddhist traditions, monks are expected to follow an austere life without being married or involved with another person, but what about lay people who are not going to become monks? ...
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8answers
5k views

How can I remove my desire for a relationship/girlfriend?

For at least half of my life I've had an extremely strong desire to be in a relationship/have a girlfriend and though I've tried, I've been unsuccessful and this has brought me tremendous suffering to ...
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8answers
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SN 12.52 Upadana Sutta

Can one elaborate please more on this quote: "In one who keeps focusing on the allure of clingable phenomena (or: phenomena that offer sustenance = the five aggregates), craving develops. "...
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3answers
197 views

Must I continue a relationship with my abusive parents?

My parents were physically and mentally abusive to me as a child. As an adult, they have never recognized what they have done to me and even try to guilt me into having a relationship with them that I ...
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3answers
207 views

How to lose identification with my body and physical appearance

Ever since I was a child I was very look concious. I took pride from my looks and took shame from them as well. I'm at a point where my sense of worth is mainly derived from such an unstable, ...
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2answers
123 views

How to deal with fixation towards an old relationship?

I broke up with my girlfriend a couple of years ago. We haven't talked to each other since then. A few months back we met at a job interview. We spoke to each other and she was very friendly. I ...
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8answers
3k views

Confused about partner's practices. Need advice

My partner has an active interest in Buddhism and I have been confused about his state of mind for two years. Kindly help us out. The past two years have been a depression time for my family and ...
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2answers
72 views

How to let go of something the other person involved won't acknowledge

How does one let go of something the other person involved won't acknowledge? I don't mean the niceties of the other person's behaviour, the ins and outs and whys. Merely, that the other person - I ...
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0answers
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Desire root cause is Suffering, isn't Nirvana the goal of Buddhism is a Desire? [duplicate]

Subject refers, any short good answer here with an article supports? This is for in case somebody asks me this?
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8answers
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Is it possible to experience powerful sensations, such as orgasm, without getting attached to it?

I used orgasm as an example because it is usually the strongest sensation one can feel due to everything involved and all the chemistry released in the body. Also, I would say that sexual activity ...
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6answers
207 views

How do I recognize the attachment to certain things?

How do I know whether I am attached to ceratain things or not ? Examples: When we attached to the taste we will trying to find more & more tasty foods. We can reduce that by getting a simple ...
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3answers
148 views

The Practice of Giving: How to Practice Giving "Thusly"?

In the Diamond Sutra (or Vajra Prajna Paramita Sutra) Buddha says to Subhuti: a Bodhisattva should not dwell anywhere when he gives. He should not dwell in forms when he gives, nor should he dwell ...
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3answers
118 views

What is the cause of imaginary dialogues in mind?

Most of the time, I have conversations in mind. Most of them, there is person , interviewing me. Other person: "Why don't you like that ?" Me: "I don't like it because ..." This doesn't happen in ...
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11answers
976 views

Rejecting clinging to both pleasure and displeasure

I recently listened to a talk by Ajahn Chah, in which he mentions (@ ~14:20-14:53) that wisdom is found when one clings to neither pleasure nor displeasure. This really created a dilemma in my head ...
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2answers
90 views

Can trying to control the mind also lead to attachment?

When we become attached to our body, we do workouts, wear make-up and do lots of other things to gain good looks. When we become attached to our money, we work to get more and more money. Similarly, ...
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7answers
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When is it love? When is it attachment?

I have this misunderstanding about love and attachment as they relate to one another. It's hard to put in words, so I'll try with some examples first. My understanding is that love is something you ...
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4answers
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What Buddha's techniques I can use to uproot deep craving for a woman's love?

I am not geographically close to this woman, nor do I ever talk to her, she's just my teenage obsession that lingers on my mind. I am too much attached to my perceptions about how she is, and because ...
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2answers
52 views

Attachment to trifling material things

Just a practical question on attachment to trifling material things. I struggle to put it in words but from my younger age, I have a habit of being angry when someone takes a minor item without ...
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4answers
125 views

Are loving-kindness and compassion (metta and karuna) special kind of attachments?

To alleviate someone from suffering, Buddhism teaches one to practice mettā karuṇā. But it seems to me that to thinking good about someone and wish them the best, we need to have a better version of ...
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2answers
1k views

In the movie Spring Summer Fall Winter and Spring, why does the master cry?

Here is the movie: Spring Summer Fall Winter and Spring 2003 The plot is that the student having attachment to a woman, leave the temple and marries her. Years fly by, and the student returns because ...
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2answers
167 views

Are Habits a Kind of Attachment?

Some questions have already touched the nature of habits, namely in the sense of good habits or their benefits. This answer explains how attachment occur from a repeated desire to engage in the ...
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2answers
66 views

Nature of Spiritual Writings

When I write certain texts, in the presence of inspiration, the topic turns towards high ideals, for example beauty. The phenomenon is odd and prevalent in my life: I have written hundreds of such ...
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3answers
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Attachment Towards Environments and Objects

I have just asked a question about computer use, and it spurred another question in my mind: How does attachment towards objects and places occur? I'm specifically wondering if all pleasurable ...
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10answers
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How to combine Buddhism with being a parent?

Buddhist philosophy says that we shouldn't get attached and try to form bonds with something and desire or crave it because everything is essentially impermanent and this will lead to suffering. But ...
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9answers
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Physical Exercise as a Monk?

Is a monk allowed to exercise the body in order to keep it fit and healthy? I reckon both 'healthy' and 'fit' as attachments, but is there an overall rule/teaching that explains this?
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Cutting Computer in Evening

I have recently managed to restrict my eating period to about 8h per day, which is supposed to help circadian rhythm. Yet, to further promote sleep and circadian rhythm, I should also cut out blue ...
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0answers
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What is the Reason for Noble Dukkha and How? [duplicate]

The direct answer to this question is attachment (upadana). To be more specific my question is how attachment become the cause for the Noble Dukkha? Eg: If I like a car, its an attachment. And how ...
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6answers
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Would Buddhists help non-Buddhists continuing their attachments?

Let's take 2 examples: A Buddhist notices a crying girl. After asking it turns out that she lost her mother, and don't know where to find her Alice and Bob has a complicated relationship. Bob wants ...
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4answers
161 views

Is there any source saying that Buddhists can temporarily form relationship to help people?

There are many good answers in the question Would Buddhists help non-Buddhists continuing their attachments?. I'll summarize some of the points here: Buddhism only teaches that things don't last, not ...
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9answers
312 views

Are all forms of Dukkha related to a sense of self?

A few days ago I started reading books about Paticcasamuppada because I realized how little and shallow was my understanding on this capital matter. Despite getting the gist of it, I still have ...
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5answers
158 views

Addictive Withdrawal and Buddhism

It's well documented in psychology that the cessation of any type of addictive behaviour causes a period of withdrawal. During this period, less pleasure is experienced overall as well as mental ...
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6answers
971 views

Attachment vs legitimate need

I heard a talk by Ajahn Amaro that says that wherever I encounter dukkha, it is a sign that there is an attachment involved, that I can let go of and this way free myself from the dukkha. https://...
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4answers
226 views

When would a Buddhist want to attach?

I understand that Buddhism is meant to end sufferings. The Buddhists welcome everything and don't clinging when it's gone. They don't necessary cut existing attachments (knowledge, relationships), but ...
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3answers
1k views

Is smoking tobacco acceptable in any school of Buddhism?

Is smoking tobacco acceptable in any school of Buddhism? I think it shouldn't be considered acceptable: because of the fifth precept because of the first precept (smoking is physically harmful, so ...
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4answers
771 views

Can Buddha be insulted by disrespect? [closed]

I found a video about Leshan Giant Buddha and was watching it with my family. In that video some workers were cleaning the statue's head while walking on it (it is a giant statue) - and my family ...
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2answers
50 views

Difference Between Belief and Valuing

Just as in Buddhism one's views and self are questions of importance for well being, I noticed my difficulties relating to spirituality relate precisely to those two topics. On the one hand, I don't ...
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4answers
216 views

Is it possible to eliminate all attachments?

Attachment is clearly something that we have all experienced, from a baby who is attached to their mom to an adult who is attached to their family. It is clear that attachment leads to suffering, so ...
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3answers
190 views

Is it possible to achieve universal detachment? How?

I have, for some time, tried to detach from things in my life so I can find true happiness without needing anything. Although I have had some success detaching from some things, like the need to be ...
3
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4answers
491 views

Can you reconcile (professional) ambition with buddhism?

I have been a practicioner of mindfulness and vipassana for a few years. I have felt that buddhism is at odds with striving towards professional success and ambition. Ambition and professional success ...
2
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1answer
81 views

Fame in Buddhism

What is craving for fame in Buddhism? I am aware that fame pertains to the eight worldly concerns and is detrimental. However I wonder: what is fame-seeking in Buddhism? I ask this because when I ...
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4answers
89 views

Is the existence of life & teaching Dhamma a form of attachment?

I read the following comment on the internet (reference): By existing you are attached to this reality. If I die then I won't exist according to Buddhism. Therefore I won't be attached to reality. ...
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5answers
158 views

How can I end my attachment to holidays?

Every day I look forward to the day when there will be a holiday. Holiday brings a sense of relief to me. However I know this is a false sense of relief as after every holiday there will be a working ...
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4answers
135 views

"..but don't become attached" Do we have control whether we attach or not?

Often I hear above mentioned phrase in regards to sex, music, entertainment and basically everything else that is or seems important. Now the question is: Do we really have control whether we get ...
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4answers
112 views

What to do after becoming free from suffering and attachments?

Suppose I'm free from suffering, free from attachments, untouched by pain and pleasure, with absolute, constant calm and peace of mind; feeling profound compassion towards all beings (from an ant, to ...
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6answers
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Why do the Noble Truths talk about 'craving', instead of about 'attachment'?

Further to these comments, why do the Noble Truths talk about 'craving', specifically, instead of about 'attachment'? Wouldn't they make as much sense, or even make more sense, if they identified ...
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2answers
875 views

Are monks allowed to have prescriptions? What did the Buddha say of medicine?

Are Buddhist monks allowed to have prescriptions, or would that be considered an attachment? Did the Buddha say anything of medicine?
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5answers
298 views

How to reconcile non-attachment in a Type-A, North American culture where work is life?

I've been meditating on-and-off for years. However, the non-attachment preached by the Buddha conflicts with the environment around me. I'm in a large urban center in North America. Achievement is ...
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1answer
87 views

In what situations can letting go of attachments be painful?

From what I understand of the Buddhist path, letting go of attachments shouldn't be painful. Are there times when letting go will be painful and if there is, why are those times different than the ...
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2answers
197 views

Questions on Attachment, Entertainment and Pleasure

Forgive me if I write many questions in a single post, but these all deal with the thematic of attachment. I hope to quit my addictions to pleasures, in major part social media, by gaining insight ...
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6answers
450 views

How to have a relationship

Every intimate relationship I have ever had has ended in a lot of pain and grief. The last one lasted for 17 years but eventually broke down. That was a year ago and the pain is still very raw at ...