Given the good hint of Dhammadathu: "psychiatric hospital", if using a retreat, the Buddhas teaching, just to funcion for the world, e.g. as a compensation, not really up to go beyoung, it's nothing but missuse of gifts.
It's not good, not adviced, to get torward a an unexcelled gift with the inspiration of function for the world.
As Psychiatrist Lanka might know how the matter of reintegration and earnings with such works.
Having this basic fear possible change to a better, it would be nothing but hindrence to gain right view but as often a door to develop strange wrong views, willing to use high Dhamma for the world. This often "schizophrenic" way of live that is further leaded, a broad visible phenomena of so called Vipassana doer, is for the most not of benefit and those people are usually very unvirtuose, not ashamed to perform even grave missconduct, often continue wrong livelihood, having developed such as householder equanimity, a equanimity not based on penetrating the world, e.g. sensuality, matter.
So my person advice is to simply lead a proper lay-persons life, focusing much on generosity, service for worthy and Sila and when the day comes that actually seeing the danger in the world, taking on the going forth if the conditions outwardly, previous cased, are avaliable.
Todau even monks make retreats in same way... look at them. Today a very open remark of a, to that extend, very wise nun. Accidentally from the same lineage (if my person is not wrong) as it seems: A silly Nun, she calls her self, sadly.
Here a share of the (hidden) comments on the "luck" of reintegration, her resume:
Sure? A silly person, even meeting, having Nissaya, but not taking on it, just “how lucky amI, how lucky am I”, seeing form as constant, feeling as constant, fabrications as constant, memories as constant, knowing as constant, will return again and again. How is it, that a wanderering returner is blessed?
It’s not possible to uproot bhava-tanha if kama-tanha is not uprooted. For best possible support, sticking firm to vinaya is most conductive and taking on the Buddhas and Savaka-Sanghas invitation before following the many Maras in- and outwardly. Meaning, not taking what is not given and reject that with strings to the world, even if given.
And what is the cause of gaining right view? To do not associate with the common beloved fools, those who make a livelihood on talk.
Best wishes. It’s not easy if not letting go of unsupportive bounds. Why does one not? Because of this cravings, longing for it, not seeing the backwards, after the joy of becoming giving by sensuality.
Btw., it’s seldom that one is honest to one self and as the Buddha told “seeing ones foolishness, is to that extend, be called wise” so to that extend the silly isn’t silly at at in this case.
Mudita for that is actually really a matter of “lucky” and reason to rejoice benefical with it.
But now, how to get ride of being attached to fakes and cheater and find the Noble ones?
Not sure if known Upasika Kee Nanayon, but as it came to mind as possible supportive, here a share (with string to Nibbana attached):
Stop, Look, and Let Go
Assuming that this retreat might be done already, maybe give also a own answer.
Assuming that not, may Lanka do the best to be soon able to go forth.
[Note: This is a gift of Dhamma, not meant for commercial use or other lower wordily gains by ways of exchange or trade]
