There is some person in my life and whenever I see his or her photo, or something related to him or her (e. g. reminder of the place he or she lives), I experience strong feelings.
They are totally irrational (I haven't been in contact with this person for years, I live thousands of kilometers apart from him or her) and I don't understand them (when you don't see a person for a long time, you tend to forget him or her, but I don't). No psychological technique I tried (all kind of NLP stuff, EMDR, meditations, relaxation tapes, long walks, sex, talking with lots of nice people, hard work and whatnot) didn't help me understand and get rid of those feelings.
Whenever I think I've forgotten him or her, I get a reminder from the outside world (someone mentions something related to him or her, or a there is a billboard with a message related to him or her, or I hear a piece of music from his or her region in the radio etc.).
Basically, I need to figure out whether
- I should do something with or about this person or
- just forget him or her.
What publicly available Buddhist teachnings can I read in order to learn in order to sort out these feelings (begin to understand their nature) on my own ?
- I don't want to discuss what kind of feelings they are. I just need a manual, which I can apply and do it myself.
- Going to a group, or talking to a psychologist or guru aren't viable options because according to my experience 99.9 % of advice you get from other people on important matters is wrong (in the past such advice caused more harm than good).