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I notice that when I don't meditate it is easier to ignore things (e.g. other people, situations) and focus on my own thing--even though I might not be as concentrated. This is of course not the right way to live--like a zombie.

On the other hand though, when I meditate well--really well, noticing my thoughts and being very present... I notice that afterwards I have lots of energy. I become highly productive and get things, powered by Truth and unconditional joy, happiness and acceptance.

In social situations I don't know if this is very beneficial--I can act quickly and I feel like some people might perceive me as very smart but erratic. Maybe it is because of my lack of social finesse but when I am talking with a woman I might be a little erratic, unusually detached, and just have some abnormal responses. I also tend to be impatient and don't care to develop a relationship with a woman as "normal" people would, asking her questions about her family, etc. I'd rather talk about the world, analyze her peronality, and do brain-y but unattractive, boring things which actually drains energy.

A part of me thinks this is a problem but the bodhisattva part of me says, who cares just keep practicing even whilst sharing conversation with others because I am definitely causing no harm and oftentimes sharing things with people they are happy for later...

How can I remedy the erratic energy-power that arises from vipassana aka cessation-contemplation meditation so I can feel more in-control? Especially in social situations.

I am not sure it is a problem at all actually because I certainly do no harm to others and I am definitely more productive in the rest of my life.

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    From your description of talking to women, I feel like I know you. You must have a relationship with a scholar, or person who is infinitely curious. Most people will not want to talk about academic subjects and just focus on the little things – Yoda Bytes Apr 20 '15 at 14:26
  • "The little things"... this perturbs me to no end, it feels like my universally expansive mind has to shrink down tremendously to do so.. But I know this idea I have is one-sided because these little things often matter the most to the other person and often contain many big lessons about the Big Thing and have many, many other benefits when I do force myself to do "small talk." – Ahmed Apr 21 '15 at 0:04
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You do not specify what sort of meditation you practice (saying vipassana or cessation-contemplation doesn't tell much), but Buddhist meditation shouldn't be a direct cause for "erratic energy-power". It should lead to an overall more balanced, tranquil state of mind that is energetic, but not excessively so.

What is more likely is that your meditation has brought up or accentuated qualities of your own mind that lay dormant, and you are now being forced to deal with them. This is common, and these qualities should, in the case of vipassana meditation become objects of meditation themselves.

In no case should one try to "remedy" phenomena in vipassana meditation - the object is to see things as they are, not change them.

The same goes for gaining a sense of control; this is in direct contravention of the concept of anatta, so it should not be aspired to. One should rather aspire to discard the need for control in favour of clear vision; it is through clear vision that one comes to navigate life's difficulties, not through forced change.

“sabbe dhammā anattā”ti, yadā paññāya passati.
atha nibbindati dukkhe, esa maggo visuddhiyā.

"All dhammas are non-self" - when one sees this with wisdom,
and thence becomes diinterested in suffering, this is the path to purification.

-- Dhp. 279

It is probably true that a successful meditator becomes less successful in certain social situations, e.g. picking up dates or entertaining friends, but this is more because of the unwholesome expectations of the other parties involved than a fault of the meditator who will still be friendly, cordial, and kind.

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If you end up with more energy switch to developing concentration.

Also you should look at calming the fabrications. In Anapana if you note the length of the breath, which nostril it is going and coming at what proportions, you breath become very slow and eventually stops for some time. Then continue to watch the sensations in the upper lip. Look at the sensation any metal states create around you head.

In case you get lethargic or sleepy start scanning the body using large areas and in rapid speed. If you are not too sleepy then try looking at just sensations in the upper lip or your mouths upper plate while placing you tongue on the place of concentration. These will stir up energy.

When doing your daily activities look at sensations in your body. Shyness, being elicited, etc. and other personal traits sometimes have sensations associated with them. (Also you breathing will change.) By looking at them they will arise and pass away or if not you can be in more control of the situation as you know what state you are in.

(Please leave a comment if I have missed something or you need more clarification.)

  • Thank you so much, you have given very practical advice whereas yuttadhammo has given great advice for Right View. I do practice letting go of clinging sensations (what you have suggested), and find it extremely valuable. – Ahmed Apr 21 '15 at 14:58
  • @Ahmed good to hear this was helpful. Main thing is to put into practice what every suites you better and realise the results for your self. – Suminda Sirinath S. Dharmasena Apr 22 '15 at 5:47

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