I think somebody asked a similar question earlier and understand that this will likely be closed but hope not. Was wondering can practicing of Metta make you likeable? Or rather more approachable? Easy to talk to? This is a very strange world, there are some people who possess some kind of unexplainable magnetism, it's like people are generally attracted to them and people pay attention when they talk.
They have never been out of the limelight.
Is it something to do with Metta?

3 Answers 3


From the Mettanisamsa Sutta:

"Monks, eleven advantages are to be expected from the release (deliverance) of heart by familiarizing oneself with thoughts of loving-kindness (metta), by the cultivation of loving-kindness, by constantly increasing these thoughts, by regarding loving-kindness as a vehicle (of expression), and also as something to be treasured, by living in conformity with these thoughts, by putting these ideas into practice, and by establishing them. What are the eleven?

  1. "He sleeps in comfort.
  2. He awakes in comfort.
  3. He sees no evil dreams.
  4. He is dear to human beings.
  5. He is dear to non-human beings.
  6. Devas (gods) protect him.
  7. Fire, poison, and sword cannot touch him.
  8. His mind can concentrate quickly.
  9. His countenance is serene.
  10. He dies without being confused in mind.
  11. If he fails to attain arahantship (the highest sanctity) here and now, he will be reborn in the brahma-world.

Read this essay to get some exposition and experience on Metta. Particularly this experience:

Once I had a meditation student who had been a child in Nazi-occupied Europe. She recounted an instance when she was around ten years old when a German soldier held a gun to her chest -- a situation that would readily arouse terror. Yet she related feeling no fear at all, thinking, "You may be able to kill my body, but you can't kill me." What a spacious reaction! It is in this way that lovingkindness opens the vastness of mind in us, which is ultimately our greatest protection.

  • Thanks for sharing! Do you mind to elaborate more on these 11 stages? Mar 28, 2015 at 16:13
  • They are not stages. Just 11 advantages of practising metta.
    – ruben2020
    Mar 28, 2015 at 16:25
  • How do u assess the effectiveness here? Mar 28, 2015 at 17:54
  • Are you sleeping and waking up in more comfort compared to when you started the practice? Do you have better mental concentration? Do you find improvements in the way people relate to you? And so on ... (but don't try fire, poison and swords)
    – ruben2020
    Mar 28, 2015 at 18:36
  • Hmm...Has anyone experienced significant improvement/changes in reality? When u said fire, poison and swords, u mean? Mar 28, 2015 at 18:41

Yes Metta is a very very important factor in the art of communication, throughout all the stages of the communication process.

Being natural (effortless) and honest is another core trait (Right Speech) as well as having a high level of generosity (dana paramita)

There are many others social skill factors, some of which are based on advanced NLP skills (which is a way to communicate to people using the specific way that they think--thus others cannot help but pay full attention to what they are saying).

You will not understand all these things in one day. It will take you the rest of your life to understand the many facets of social relationships especially the fact that people will not like you if you want them to like you.

  • Thanks for sharing! But does NLP even related to Metta practice? Do you mean once you have attained certain lvl of Metta then you will have NLP skills? Mar 28, 2015 at 16:11
  • No it relates to karuna practice.
    – Ahmed
    Mar 28, 2015 at 16:12
  • All the brahmas actually are excellent meditations for decreasing social anxiety and increasing social effectiveness.
    – Ahmed
    Mar 28, 2015 at 16:13

You already know it.

Depressive mind has power to transform whole world to depressive world. Angry mind has power to transform whole word to angry world. Metta mind has power to transform whole world to metta world.

When dwelling in depression, everything is depressive. When boiling in anger, everything is angry. When radiating metta, everything is shining metta.

This world will reflect back what ever you offer to it. If you have this I like you and I want to help you -mind towards this world, this world will reflect it back to you as I like you and I want to help you -world.

Why don't you try out?

  • Thanks for sharing!But u can't just help someone only if you like him/her. I thought you should help all without prejudices. Mar 28, 2015 at 16:31
  • 1
    I didn't advocate any prejudices. Help those who you like and like those who need help. And everyone needs help.
    – ssamituss
    Mar 28, 2015 at 17:29

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