I am looking for something unknown, not known to me very clearly. Maybe it is ultimate peace or harmony or empathy or sympathy or state of nirvana or supermundane advantage or all of these. Somehow I feel that I can get all of them by following the rules stated in Buddhism. So I want to know what kind of relation I should accept between me and Buddha? Who I am, a student or a master, and if death is somehow the only end then where, or at which level, do I need to be awakened?
...Perhaps observing and meditating following texts would help:
‘Above, across or back again, wherever one goes in the world let one carefully scrutinise the rise and fall of compounded things.’
‘Impermanent are all compounded things. When one senses this with true insight, then one becomes detached from suffering; this is the path of purification.’
and this beautiful text of Jane Hirschfield (in the PBS-documentary film 'The Buddha')
‘There is water in a river; and there is water in a glass. And then the water is back in the air; and then it is back in the river. The water is there but what is it? That’s a way to think about the self in Buddha’s own. One moment you’re angry; the next moment you are laughing. Who are you? The self comes and the self goes. Simply notice how, from one moment to another, your self is actually not as much the same as we think it is.’’
I personally wouldn't worry about such details and labels of who is who and what status everyone is. I would recommend you read, " The Noble Eightfold Path"( conceptual understanding) accompanied with Vipassana meditation (experiential realization). Work your way through the teachings of the NEP, and you will remove your own ignorance.
I would still recommend asking monks for detailed help, but what i have mentioned above, that will be a very good starting point for you, if you are serious about the practice!
I hope i have helped!