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When I get angry with someone, I can usually calm this feeling after some time through meditation practices.

But I'm wondering how can I overcome the causes of this 'anger' in a way that I don't get angry anymore with something?

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how can I overcome the causes of this 'anger' in a way that I don't get angry anymore with something?

You overcome anger by being AWARE of anger.

1.When anger arises note "anger".Remember it's not your anger".It's just anger.By doing this you create detachment from it.Creating distance or space.That is usually enough to give you some gap to talk yourself out of it.

But if it persists and you find yourself struggling.Then..

2.Focus on the anger.

NOTE: Do not focus on angry thoughts,or memories or plans.When i say focus on the anger i mean focus on the physical/sensations of anger.The heat in your body,the sweat on your face,tension around your jaw,the saliva being produced in your mouth,the heat behind your ears.Be aware of your overall physical state when your angry.

Now tell me where is that anger? Show me where it is.Try to find it?So that i can mark that part of your body with a marker.We'll know who the culprit is!Is it that feeling in the back of you neck?Oh it's moved up to your head.Why is it moving around? Now it's gone down your spine.

Why is it you can feel anger so strongly but you can never seem to pinpoint it in one spot.It just moving all the time.Anger looks so big, mean and overwhelming when your not paying attention to it but once you take a closer look it seems to be reduce in size,nothing more than tiny particles swirling around different spots of your body and even then if you pay more attention you'll reduce it to nothing.It's dissolved.

We think anger is solid and permanent but it's not.When anger lurks in the deep waters of our subconscious we have a distorted view of it.It becomes an impulse that we must let out or it becomes unhealthy,it gathers momentum demanding action to be taken.But the anger is not doing this.We are.By our inability to see it clearly(ignorance).when we bring it to the surface of consciousness we see it for what it is.Just sensations arising and falling going it's own way.So the next time anger arises stay with it in this way.But if you can not then by all means practice restraint.

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Excellent that you are interested in this! You are motivated to attain Arhatship! Permanent uprooting of the poisons is achievement of Theravedin Enlightenment/Arhatship.

I will summarize the pathway in a recursive way that you can not only use for any of the three poisons (anger, greed, delusion)... but you will find will be permanently valuable for the entire path!

  • 1st training: restrain your action by following the Eightfold path. Force yourself to follow Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood no matter what!
  • 2nd training: use anything you would use for the 2nd training, concentration. This can be a contemplation that fixates your attention away from the anger (breathing, brahmavihara, etc.)
  • 3rd training: vipassana. Be clearly nakedly aware of the emotion as a sensation. It will dissolve.

The 3rd training is hard to do without proper advancement in 2nd training. The 2nd training is hard to do without proper advancement in the 1st training.

The 1st training you must do or else you will sink into a lower form of existence in the next life.

Rmemember that the above method may seem like a lot in words but it's main success is in the lifestyle path you choose (animal-killers or prostitutes are not Right Livelihood and will experience more poisons than others always) and being mindful in the moment (#2 and #3), transforming the emotion. This can be a matter of a split second.

I have not referenced any lengthy suttas in this text but these are all true things said by the Buddha. I would recommend seeing the chapter on the Three Trainings within the free book Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha for more info and read the entire book. Super big secrets.

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Like all emotions, anger is a healthy, honest, innate insight into your sense of wellbeing.

You have the right, as a human being, to feel and be angry. A therapist once told me that 'anger is your dignity', or a call from your soul to be have your sense of self valued.

That you are interested in resolving your anger in a way that is compassionate to someone is endearing. But, denying your right to be angry is limiting your right to feel, live, and love freely.

Your anger, as unreasonable as it might seem, is coming from an honest place and is likely prompting you to change an aspect of your relationship with someone. However, acting aggressively or denying someone's feelings is not 'right action'.

To transform your anger, you may have to change the way you communicate with the 'someone' you mentioned by being more honest and being willing to be vulnerable about painful, troubling feelings. You may also have to change your relationship to your anger and the lens you view anger.

Anger is a sign of a weakened relationship, with someone else or within yourself. If you meditate on the causes of your anger, meditate to strengthen your compassion for the wound causing your anger and conditions you can create, within yourself and within the relationship with someone else. And do so to liberate your all of your strength and your relationship.

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    Granted I'm not that knowledgeable, but it seems to me that the only part of this which touches on a Buddhist approach is the reference to meditation and and even that doesn't seem very Buddhist to me. This seems like a conventional Western psychotherapy viewpoint. – GreenMatt Jan 23 '15 at 4:17
  • My answer isn't traditionally Buddhist because in my experience the Buddhist teachings on anger haven't been productive. In a forum intended to communicate Buddhist teachings, it would have been best to describe sutras or philosophy innate to Buddhism. Thanks for the comment. – Halfmüt Jan 23 '15 at 21:20
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Anger result due to ignorance. Ignorance of when we make sense input our perception and views makes us react to our sense input. We see, hear or feel something which we do not like or something turns out to not what we expect, we react with anger.

Hence when you get some sense input jest look at it as feeling. Bee mindful of the feeling it cause and just leave it at that without any reaction knowing that the feeling also will pass away.

If the above does not work you could try doing some loving kindness meditation.

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