I see my society cherishing and nourishing their respected beloved ones and living at their best. I've tried to do that but I have many unanswered questions. How can I help myself to attain Nirvana when I have doubts about leaving my suffering family behind?
This is something you have to decide. There are many angles to consider. Some that I through of are:
- What happens to your family when you leave. This can later become a worry that can come back and hold you back in your practice.
- Sometimes some level of unsatisfactory is conducive to practice as you are always tested in daily life which might not be the case when in long time meditation as a recluse.
- Leaving does remove some responsibility which makes time for serious practice.
There are sufferings that parents cannot help. I dont remember from what sutta but it goes something like , parents cannot help a child to be free from sufferings that caused by illness, aging, and death. If your family wants to be free from these universal sufferings, they have to practice dhamma. No other ways around it. Anyone or any being that has name and form (Nama-rupa) experieces sufferings, period. Suffering ends when nama-rupa ends. (those who achieve enlightenment still experience physical pain while they still have the body) nothing you can do to eliminate those sufferings for them. Best you can do is tell them Dhamma taught by Buddha.
Don't be so attached to others. Even if they are suffering through self-inflicted drama, your family's suffering is theirs, not your own.
Gradually speak less and less and become ready to leave.
They will never be able to answer your questions. You will never be able to answer their questions.
May each person go to the best place where they will to find their answers!