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Before I ask this question let me tell that I know that attachment in Buddhism is very different from the one in psychology. Also, I understand that attachment in psychology is just aversion or craving for certain situations/feelings/experiences etc.

That being said, I was wondering if anyone has successfully overcome anxious attachment (or knows how to)? I ask here because if I ask anywhere else I would get the standard response "it's something that you live with for all your life and it's something very deeply rooted, which cannot be overcome. So you should get better in learning to live with it."

I understand the broad psychology etc. so please emphasize on any specific exercises and insights that have helped you. Feel free to add any other relevant info. Thanks

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  • anxious attachment, you mean attachment toward stuff that you love, like, earn?
    – Pycm
    Mar 10 at 13:58
  • @Pycm anxious attachement is a form of mental state, or rather a collection of fears and beliefs. Basically it is fear of abandonment, mistrust and low self esteem/self judgement and hatred etc. Mar 11 at 1:06

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I will use the word clinging instead of attachment to address your issue. Your problem is that you cling to the feeling of anxiousness. Anxiousness can be overcome in stages. Deep love from others can reduce your anxiety. If you have a strong sense of humour , under all circumstances, then you can overcome anxiety. If you can love the worst possible situation which can manifest in your life then also you can overcome anxiety. You should develop courage to face adverse situations by accepting the outcome of your efforts or actions wholeheartedly.Take daring tasks regularly to improve your mindset. Best way to deal with anxiety is by developing the right mindset. Have compassion, deep compassion, for everybody. Even for your enemies and adversaries.

I personally cope with anxiety by getting in touch with reality. Reality has 3 marks of existence.

  1. All conditioned phenomena are impermanent.
  2. All conditioned phenomena are suffering.
  3. All conditioned and unconditioned phenomena are not Self.

When I face adverse situation I remind myself , it will not last forever. Therefore I do not let it to depress me. When I face favourable situation I remind myself , it will not last forever. Therefore I do not celebrate it beyond a point.

Also , the above truth is valid for all. And everyone is going to suffer because of that. So I do not try to run after anything or anyone. I am satisfied with what I have. In fact I feel happy for whatever I have. Zero expectations has helped me reduce my anxieties to minimum low. It can be further lowered but that approach I will tell you when I myself will start following it.

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