3

I am a 25 years student who has hard time struggling with emotions of anger and revenge.

I am taking therapy but I also have decided to become a Buddhist as it is a rational religion.

I just wanted to ask what books in Buddhist philosophy will you suggest for understanding and coping emotions of anger and revenge?

Thanks!

3
  • if you're talking about potentially taking out revenge fantasies on others, I would suggest trying metta. if you're talking about feeling sullen when someone irrationally abuses you, then try meditation. these tings are a continuum. hth
    – user23322
    Feb 27, 2022 at 15:29
  • I am going through a really tough period and that's why I am unable to check all answers and accept one. As soon as I feel better and have time, I will do it. Please bear with me.
    – user
    Mar 22, 2022 at 6:57
  • ok sorry to hear that! try not to worry
    – user23322
    Mar 25, 2022 at 12:35

5 Answers 5

1

In Buddhism, Stressful-Person is struggling with emotions of anger and revenge.

The origin of stress is overthinking of 5 string, color sound smell taste and body-feeling, including overthinking of living-being, so the loving kindness concentration meditation (metta) is the right answer.

However, the concentration meditation bases on virtue (Sila), so check your virtue fist of all, according to KaraniyaMettaSutta...

What should be done by one skillful in good

So as to gain the State of Peace is this:

Let him be able, and upright and straight,

Easy to speak to, gentle, and not proud,

Contented too, supported easily,

With few tasks, and living very lightly;

His faculties serene, prudent, and modest,

Unswayed by the emotions of the clans;

And let him never do the slightest thing

That other wise men might hold blamable.

After above skill is better, then the practitioner is ready for the next lesson..

(And let him think:) "In safety and in bliss

May creatures all be of a blissful heart.

Whatever breathing beings there may be.

No matter whether they are frail or firm,

With none excepted, be they long or big

Or middle-sized, or be they short or small

Or thick, as well as those seen or unseen,

Or whether they are dwelling far or near,

Existing or yet seeking to exist.

May creatures all be of a blissful heart.

Let no one work another one's undoing

Or even slight him at all anywhere:

And never let them wish each other ill

Through provocation or resentful thought."

And just as might a mother with her life

Protect the son that was her only child,

So let him then for every living thing

Maintain unbounded consciousness in being;

And let him too with love for all the world

Maintain unbounded consciousness in being

Above, below, and all round in between,

Untroubled, with no enemy or foe.

And while he stands or walks or while he sits

Or while he lies down, free from drowsiness,

Let him resolve upon this mindfulness:

This is Divine Abiding here, they say.

The result of the loving-kindness meditation is...

But when he has no trafficking with views,

Is virtuous, and has perfected seeing,

And purges greed for sensual desires,

He surely comes no more to any womb.

0

The Buddhist scriptures generally say to reflect upon (think about) the harm & dangers of anger & other unwholesome emotions. For example:

An angry person is ugly & sleeps poorly. Gaining a profit, he turns it into a loss, having done damage with word & deed. A person overwhelmed with anger destroys his wealth. Maddened with anger, he destroys his status. Relatives, friends, & colleagues avoid him. Anger brings loss. Anger inflames the mind. He doesn’t realize that his danger is born from within. An angry person doesn’t know his own benefit. An angry person doesn’t see the Dhamma. A man conquered by anger is in a mass of darkness. He takes pleasure in bad deeds as if they were good, but later, when his anger is gone, he suffers as if burned with fire. He is spoiled, blotted out, like fire enveloped in smoke.

When anger spreads, when a man becomes angry, he has no shame, no fear of evil, is not respectful in speech. For a person overcome with anger, nothing gives light.

I’ll list the deeds that bring remorse, that are far from the teachings. Listen! An angry person kills his father, kills his mother, kills Brahmans & people run-of-the-mill. It’s because of a mother’s devotion that one sees the world, yet an angry run-of-the-mill person can kill this giver of life. Like oneself, all beings hold themselves most dear, yet an angry person, deranged, can kill himself in many ways: with a sword, taking poison, hanging himself by a rope in a mountain glen.

Doing these deeds that kill beings and do violence to himself, the angry person doesn’t realize that he’s ruined.

This snare of Mara, in the form of anger, dwelling in the cave of the heart: cut it out with self-control, discernment, persistence, right view. The wise man would cut out each & every form of unskillfulness. Train yourselves: ‘May we not be blotted out.’

Free from anger & untroubled, free from greed, without longing, tamed, your anger abandoned, free from fermentation, you will be unbound.

Kodhana Sutta

0

Let me give you a mental exercise which will help you cope with anger and emotional rush. This is a common exercise among lay Buddhists as well as practicing Buddhists alike.

Preparation: If you have a trusted friend or partner ask him/her to remind you that you are in anger, the next time you are visibly angry. This preparation step is not going to work if you are bottling up your emotions and hiding away the fact you are revengeful or angry. If that is the case you can skip this preparation step.

When you are aware that you are angry, take note how you react. You could either cool down, or remain angry, or feel ashamed (as it used to happen to me). Monitor this emotion.

Exercise:

  1. If you continue to be angry even after realizing you are angry: then take a deep breath, count to 5 or 10 (whichever number comfortable for you) and exhale. In the end, tell your self, 'I am better than this emotion. I am bigger than this emotion. I am in control of this emotion and I will not let this emotion control me.' Continue the breathing exercise, until you are ready to look into and reflect upon your own thought process.
  2. If the anger goes away or turn into a different emotion: then start looking at your own thoughts. This may feel strange at first, but with practice it will come to you naturally. Reflect upon your current mental state. Then try to remember the previous thought/emotion to this, and the one previous to that... and so on, until you come to the beginning of your thought process. Reflecting upon this, would reveal what triggered that emotion. Then ask yourself, why did the stimuli result with such an emotion? reflect upon it, take note of it. Reflect upon it, evaluate it with the intention to finding out why were you angry. Why were you revengeful?

With practice, you will be able to look into your own thought process and find out the actual reason as to why did the external stimuli, resulted in such emotion. That understanding will help you deal with the emotion.

Here's what I do with my finding of the reason for my emotion:

I have heard this beautiful quote by Native Americans:

Question: "In every man's mind there exists two wolves. One is Good. The other is Bad. They are in constant fight. Which one would win?"

Answer: "The one you feed the most"

I remind myself of this quote and decide that I will not feed the angry/revengeful wolf.


In addition it will be beneficial to you if you can read and understand the meaning (post your questions here in StackExchange) of following:

  • Meththanisansa Sutta
  • Karaniya Mettha Sutta
  • Dhammapada
0

You could read the Satipatthana Sutta and also consider doing a meditation course with a teacher. He or she will be able to guide you well.

0

I found Shantideva's Bodhisattvacharyavatara "Guide to the Boddhisattva's Way of Life" to be very helpful for all of the negative emotions and their antidotes. I went to weekly teachings on it by Gelek Rimpoche for several years. You could check out Rimpoche's commentary on the patience chapter first, because that paramita is the antidote to anger and hatred. Shambhala has the Wallace translation, but Gelek Rimpoche taught from the Batchelor translation.


enter image description here

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .