In my meditation, I face a paradox. The quality of a single session of meditation is usually quite good for me. However, in terms of regularity across sessions, I struggle immensely, skipping sessions continuously. How can there arise such a discrepancy between a single meditation session's quality and my ability to be consistent? Are those reliant on different faculties? Is there a way to remedy this?
Ignore the quality of your sits, at least for now. That's largely irrelevant. Consistency is far more important. At this stage of the game, the most important thing for you do be doing is generating momentum in your practice. You want to develop habit energy or, dare I say it, good karma.
The great way isn't about blissing out on the cushion. It's about being a selfless, sweating mule resolutely putting one foot in front of the other as he climbs up the mountain. Sometimes a cool breeze blows through, but for a long time it's just the humid lowland air, the bugs, and aching legs. Don't judge your practice by how it makes you feel. Instead, evaluate it according to your dedication. After all, we can never really tell where we are on the path. But we can evaluate our commitment to walking it.
Koan 17 of the Hekiganroku
Cutting through nails and breaking steel for the first time, one could be called a Master of the First Principle. If you run away from arrows and evade swords you will be a failure in Zen. The place where even a needle cannot enter I’ll leave aside for a while, but when the foaming billows wash the sky, what will you do with yourself then?
A monk asked Kyorin, “What is the meaning of Bodhidharma’s coming from the west?” “Sitting long and getting tired.”
If one manages to occasionally create a peaceful state that one can relax in & enjoy, then one might also on that account become content with that attainment & not exert more effort.
One might think things like: 'I am a good meditator because of this and it is easy for me" or "I now know how to do this and can relax a little". Otherwise one might get restless & overly excited which will make one lose one's intensity of judgement and be carried away on the currents of lustful intent. Otherwise one might start to worry about "when will i again enter into & abide in that awareness release" and further worry about it not working as you expect and becoming frustrated, taking a break and etc
you're fortunate to have the capacity for stable concentration but are unfortunate to have the habit of believing it will last and will always be available to return to.
extremely common result from being conditioned by a physicalist hedonist society. the way to remedy is to study subtle impermanence so you can perceive your death clearly and function in accord with reality instead of just conditioning and appearances.