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I'm looking for a quote by Pema Chodron. In my memory, she's having a discussion with a Zen master, and the quote goes something like this;

Pema: "what do you do when things fall apart?"

Zen Master: "I stay"

I seem to remember it being in her book When Things Fall Apart, but I searched it for the word 'stay' and I couldn't find this anywhere.

Does anybody recognise where it comes from? Maybe it's from a video or an audio recording of an interview with her? Maybe it exists only in the recesses of my memory?

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    Perhaps this reference may help: brainpickings.org/2017/07/17/…
    – OyaMist
    Feb 25, 2021 at 14:55
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    Hi I searched 'stay' in that page but I couldn't find it, does it have the quote I'm looking for or is it just talking about related ideas? I'm hoping to find that exact quote if it exists
    – Joe
    Feb 25, 2021 at 15:05
  • I reckon your brain has mixed it up in some form. stay sounds like sit, anyway
    – user23322
    Feb 19 at 7:11
  • @again_insane_buddhist, yes it's actually 'I agree', see my answer. In hindsight, 'Zen' may have been a more distinctive keyword to search than 'stay'.
    – Joe
    Feb 19 at 12:34

2 Answers 2

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Here is the quote I was looking for last year,

I once asked the Zen master Kobun Chino Roshi how he related with fear, and he said, "I agree. I agree."

It is on page 9 of my copy, which is a 2005 edition printed on the Element imprint of HarperCollins.

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“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again. ”

― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

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    This is a nice quote, but it's not the one I was looking for. I was looking for one where Pema is talking to a Zen master. I actually found it a while back, I might post it a an answer later if I remember
    – Joe
    Jan 19 at 9:02

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