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After many years of Buddhist considerations, I finally admit to myself that I fight a constant battle for certainty and self-gratification. I guess those encompass the three aspects of dukka well enough.

So with somewhat of a renewed determination to practice, I have searched this generous website (and elsewhere online) for "my" book and "my" practice, and possibly my path/teacher.

The circularity I mention in the title of this question refers to the acknowledgement that these self-placating enterprises stand in marked contrast to the work that need to be done.

Sometimes i the past, in going to a website I have wondered if the drop-down for "Reading List" might say none. And more farfetched, if the "Meditation Instructions" say: figure it out yourself; no one is coming to save you.

I'm open and appreciative to any comments, admonitions, and advice.

EDIT (In response to @Rain) How to practice? Or better yet, how to find a teacher or some context (book, maybe)? Hence the circularity, so as to be my own teacher and this does not lapse into lip-service.

With kind regards.

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  • What exactly is the question?
    – user19910
    Jan 12, 2021 at 21:20
  • @ruben2020 Nice touch, thanks.
    – user20360
    Jan 14, 2021 at 10:44
  • If could include how Teacher/ teacher is being considered/ defined, & what is expected of the Teacher/ teacher in your context, and also how certainty is being considered/ defined, could also be helpful. Thank you
    – M H
    Jan 21, 2021 at 1:54

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Sometimes i the past, in going to a website I have wondered if the drop-down for "Reading List" might say none. And more farfetched, if the "Meditation Instructions" say: figure it out yourself; no one is coming to save you.

You're on to something here. No one is indeed coming to save you. When you truly get that, all hope falls by the wayside, and you are forced into the body where we see feelings and their causes: the mind. These are three of the four foundations of mindfulness: body, mind and feelings. The last one is truth or dhammas which comes about through unflagging persistence with the previous three. Crucially, we take a backwards step and learn to be in the body with all of its contractions, squirms and other whatnots. Our minds can throb and thrash like a fish out of water but various 'higher insights' are revealed along the way giving us encouragement.

“You should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and following after speech, and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate your self. Body and mind of themselves will drop away, and your original face will be manifest. If you want to attain suchness you should practice suchness without delay.”

Zen Master Dogen - Fukanzazengi

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  • Maybe you remember I asked you about Absolute Zen. Perhaps you might be able to suggest a teacher. Thanks,
    – user20360
    Jan 13, 2021 at 19:36
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    I've never done teachers at a personal level. I prefer to go with my eclectic ways, choosing to study many forms of Buddhism. If Zen appeals to you, read The Blue Cliff Record. Also, there is a book called Zen Flesh, Zen Bones that might be a little easier on the cognition. These two books will give you a deep taste of Zen. In terms of deceased teachers, Bodhidharma is a good place to start.
    – user17652
    Jan 13, 2021 at 20:02
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I very much like what @NeuroMax wrote, and only wish to add that there are sources of helpful pointers available for someone willing to do the work involved in actually implementing them. I suggest you ask more questions here and use the combined experience of those that will answer your questions to help you find a path that works for you. I mean, that’s what this site is all about ☺️

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