I remark that, when I am doing my meditation practice, I am still clinging to want to change the past. To make short, due to parents who had their own special way of education, I had quite a difficult adolescence (little freedom, constant shouting and constant dissatisfaction from my parents despite having quite good scholar results and causing no major problems (no drugs, no smoking ...), constant humiliation from my parents & my peers in middle & high school ). It was unfair and it was cruel.
On an intellectual level, I understand I cannot change the past. But on a deeper level, I still wished I could have had a "normal" adolescence. I feel that due to a low level of confidence, I missed some good opportunities.
And I am still clinging to this wish during my meditation practice (concentration on the breating). Could you give me some suggestions to help me ?
By the way, I do not know if this question belongs in this forum. If this is the case & you tell me, I will delete this question.
Edit after reading & thinking about the answers provided:
First, I want to thank you all.
Second, I had some epiphany after reading answers, thinking about them and listing to a meditation which was mentionned in one of the answers. I explain: in the meditation, the teacher speaks about a trip in which he was in a bus for nearly a day. He was stuck in a seat close to a place that was very smelly, and unfortunately, there was no other seat available. He first decided to focus on his breathing, but remarked after a few hours, that this had resulted in building tension. He remarked that he had used meditation to push the uncomfortable situation out of his mind. Once he used meditation to open to the uncomfortable situtation, things went better. And I thought: Oh, this is exactly what I was doing. I used meditation to push uncomfortable thoughts & feelings ouf of my mind. In fact, I realized that I did not want to accept what I had suffered. I thought I had accepted but deep down I had not. So now in my meditation practice, I try to open up to uncomfortable feelings & thoughts.
Thank you all