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One of the suttas where the Buddha is critical of a monk as not living the holy life the right way and at the same time by not disrobing missing out on the pleasures of the householder's life.

In effect the meaning was: missing out / depriving himself of both opportunities - not only the higher one but the lower one as well.


Update

Found the sutta, posted own answer. Thanks ruben2020 for sharing the dhammapada suggestion, and Yeshe for the formatting of my own answer.

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    You could also give your update as an answer and then mark that answer as the official answer. This would be good for indicating the question is answered. – Yeshe Tenley May 12 at 14:21
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    Your whole update should go into a new answer. – ruben2020 May 12 at 23:42
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There is one reference for this in Dhammapada 155 - 156:

Verse 155: They, who in youth have neither led the life of Purity nor have acquired wealth, waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on a drying pond deplete of fish.

Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of Purity nor have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have lost momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.

This is the commentary for it:

The Story of the Son of Mahadhana

While residing at the Migadaya wood, the Buddha uttered Verses (155) and (156) of this book, with reference to the son of Mahadhana, a rich man from Baranasi.

The son of Mahadhana did not study while he was young; when he came of age he married the daughter of a rich man, who, like him, also had no education. When the parents on both sides died, they inherited eighty crores from each side and so were very rich. But both of them were ignorant and knew only how to spend money and not how to keep it or to make it grow. They just ate and drank and had a good time, squandering their money. When they had spent all, they sold their fields and gardens and finally their house. Thus, they became very poor and helpless; and because they did not know how to earn a living they had to go begging. One day, the Buddha saw the rich man's son leaning against a wall of the monastery, taking the leftovers given him by the samaneras; seeing him, the Buddha smiled.

The Venerable Ananda asked the Buddha why he smiled, and the Buddha replied, "Ananda, look at this son of a very rich man; he had lived a useless life, an aimless life of pleasure. If he had learnt to look after his riches in the first stage of his life he would have been a top-ranking rich man; or if he had become a bhikkhu, he could have been an arahat, and his wife could have been an anagami. If he had learnt to look after his riches in the second stage of his life he would have been a second rank rich man, or if he had become a bhikkhu he could have been an anagami, and his wife could have been a sakadagami. If he had learnt to look after his riches in the third stage of his life he would have been a third rank rich man, or if he had become a bhikkhu he could have been a sakadagami, and his wife could have been a sotapanna. However, because he had done nothing in all the three stages of his life he had lost all his worldly riches, he had also lost all opportunities of attaining any of the Maggas and Phalas."

Then the Buddha spoke in verse as follows:

Verse 155: They, who in youth have neither led the life of Purity nor have acquired wealth, waste away in dejection like decrepit herons on a drying pond deplete of fish.

Verse 156: They, who in youth have neither led the Life of Purity nor have acquired wealth, lie helplessly like arrows that have lost momentum, moaning and sighing after the past.

In this YouTube video, Ven. Yuttadhammo explains these verses.

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I happened to come across it after a while. It's SN 22:80 Almsgoers - Piṇḍolya Sutta:

“And although this son of a good family has gone forth in this way, he is covetous, with strong passion for sensual desires, with a mind of ill will, of corrupt resolves, his mindfulness muddled, unalert, unconcentrated, his mind distracted, loose in his sense faculties. Just as a log from a funeral pyre, burning at both ends, smeared with excrement in the middle, fills no use as timber either in the village or in the wilderness: I speak of this person with this comparison. He has missed out on the enjoyments of the householder, and yet does not fulfill the goal of the contemplative life."

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