What are the Buddhist norms & guidelines for rebuilding a relationship after a breach of trust?

  • Reconciliation, Right & Wrong might give first ideas. Details depend on the kind of relation (between whom), and Mahavagga has parts on teacher/Studend ones, and Nyom Ruslan would know proper place to ask.
    – user11235
    Jul 2, 2020 at 17:33
  • talk to them with honesty. this isn't a specifically buddhist answer
    – user23322
    Jan 21, 2022 at 5:51

2 Answers 2


In a non-Buddhist relationship (such as described in AN 4.53), either one or both parties don't follow the five precepts and other Buddhist principles (such as the principles listed in DN 31). Obviously, the non-Buddhist relationship is a "doomed" relationship, where, per AN 7.63, one party is the killer of the other party or the killer of the relationship.

Where as in a Buddhist relationship, since each party has the intention to follow the five precepts and other Buddhist principles, any transgressions are willingly reconciled using honesty (sacca), training (dama) & patience (forgiveness), per SN 10.12.

Also, Buddhists make confession to the Triple Gem, as found here at the top of page 21, middle of page 23 and bottom of page 25.

  • Suggest replacing "is a doomed relationship" with "can be a doomed relationship". My wife was my friend before I became a Buddhist. AN7.63:13.1: But the kinds of wives here called > AN7.63:13.2: ... friend... > AN7.63:13.3: steadfast in their own morality, restrained for a long time, > AN7.63:13.4: when their body breaks up they set course for a good place.
    – OyaMist
    May 19, 2022 at 11:10

I can't think of any instances where the Buddha specifically addresses your question. However, you may find the Patience chapter in Santideva's Bodhicaravatara (Way of the Bodhisattva) quite helpful. Of course, the whole chapter is profoundly useful (as is the entire text), but you may want to have a look, starting at verse 38 of chapter six. Here's a link: https://www.tibethouse.jp/about/buddhism/text/pdfs/Bodhisattvas_way_English.pdf

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