Is it true that sakadagami can have sex that is pure so between a wife and husband. how can one gain the attention of a wise man who intends to marry and upholds The Way of Noble Ones.

  • There is no such as pure sensual pleasure in a context of leading upwardly, pure sensual pleasures always lead downwardly and are hindrance for every kind of spiritual attainment, and very short pleasure and cause of much pain. So no smart and informed ideas, all of that. Better todo all to get such ideas totally ereased in ones mind if not heading after animal existances.
    – user11235
    Feb 14 '20 at 12:10
  • 1
    Nonsens... a non-returner has abound the fetter of sensual desire, even a once returner would not go after such low stuff. And a stream enter would do all to avoid it, the dangers in the world (sensuallity). Fell at least more then ashamed even if thoughts arise.
    – user11235
    Feb 14 '20 at 12:13
  • The middle of the middle, aside of defilement following. If a little wisdom, turn away from fools who gave householder such foolish ideas, food for her defilents to grow. How would a once returner desire for becoming in animal like states, in useless low sensual plains and even ask such shameful public?
    – user11235
    Feb 14 '20 at 12:18
  • Read you question again and then tell again if one in search does not desire at all: start with virtue, 8 Silas, to get your self known a little, knowing greed, when greed arises... simply nonsens and mindless all here. A non-returner does not seek for any relations, not to speak of for low purpose, even does no more need a guide. Householder not even has heard the good Dhamma and is far away from even the path.
    – user11235
    Feb 14 '20 at 12:28
  • Householder may, if interested, make use of sangham, if serious.
    – user11235
    Feb 14 '20 at 13:22

It is gradual training. just try to find a partner who observes five precepts. I think it is a good start.

  • SarathW claims to reach jhana therefore claims to be a once-returner. Feb 14 '20 at 11:09
  • ROFL That's all I can do.
    – SarathW
    Feb 14 '20 at 11:36

With all due respect, many people overestimate their "achievements". Just because a once-returner has remainders of sensual pleasure & anger, doesn't mean that he/she will act on those. It's of course all really speculation because none of this has been mentioned in the suttas, but I believe a sotapanna and even moreso a sakadagami has such profound level of anatta, that enables them to detach from sensual desire and anger quickly.

A Buddha would have no interest in being in a relationship.

Since you also mentioned that you are a misanthrop, I doubt that you achieved higher states because misanthropy is a generalized hatred towards human beings.

With regards to sex I guess no one can give you a definite answer because humans are way too complex, have different wants & preferences in different life periods, and also their personal attitudes (and former experiences) can influence their relationship life & sexual life.

If you seek for a more loving relationship, make sure to look for a person who has somewhat same interests and goals as you do, and ideally both should practise Buddhism (or some other spiritual endeavor).


If what you want is sex (or a sex partner), you might find it frustrating to be married to "a Buddha".

FYI I take this answer to be advice for choosing a partner, based on the suttas -- although that is arguably not mind you.


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