I have a very strong pull towards becoming a full-time monk but being a family person (a son/husband/father) it seems really tough to take-up robe. How do I go about convincing or communicating this thought to my family?

What are the drawbacks if I just leave everything and walk away?

  • 3
    Not trying to be flippant, but have you asked those it concerns?
    – user11699
    Commented Oct 8, 2019 at 13:55
  • Comments are not for extended discussion; this conversation has been moved to chat.
    – ChrisW
    Commented Oct 13, 2019 at 2:40

4 Answers 4


MN82 discusses the drawbacks faced by Raṭṭhapāla when expressing a desire to go forth:

Please give me permission to go forth.” When he said this, Raṭṭhapāla’s parents said to him, “But, dear Raṭṭhapāla, you’re our only child. You’re dear to us and we love you. You’re dainty and raised in comfort. You know nothing of suffering. When you die we will lose you against our wishes.

Similarly, consider the needs of your spouse and children. Later in MN82 we see the impact on the wives:

Then Raṭṭhapāla’s former wives each clasped his feet and said, “What are they like, lord, the nymphs for whom you lead the spiritual life?” “Sisters, I don’t lead the spiritual life for the sake of nymphs.” Saying, “Our lord Raṭṭhapāla refers to us as sisters!” they fainted right away.

Going forth affects many. Discuss this with them. Also think about your own motivations. Raṭṭhapāla felt he had no choice in life but to go forth:

‘I’ll either die right here or go forth.’

  • No permission of wife or children required actually.
    – user11235
    Commented Oct 9, 2019 at 4:43

Don't do this my dear friend You don't understand becoming craving Becoming process want be something

For example
You are family person and you want become monk. Monk want be something That process is problem..

Knowing becoming process Everyone want to become something

Becoming condition firction you and your craving
Firction condition suffering ..

Example Skinny person want to become body builder Firction skinny person and his opposite craving
Firction condition suffering You know these process

Can we live without friction?

Because friction contidion suffering We avoid friction We avoid suffering


Q >>>What are the drawbacks if I just leave everything and walk away? ANSWER>>> None, if you can walk away and enter into priesthood that shows you have very little attractions towards family. There exist families without father, without mother, family without both parents, they just continue to live.don't die don't vanish.. If your purpose here us solely to become an enlightened one so that you could serve the word then no issue If your purpose is just to run away from burdrn and have a easy life then that is where the problem lies. not in the first I mentioned. Most run away from tackling problems because they don't know enough to understand they could live happily with a tormenting family without remorse.. Why should Therawadi doctrene exist if it cannot provide remedy for everyday sufferings. There is a cure...we need to learn...to live happily.. A devotee listens to semons, solely to build the required knowledge. Blessings


Family life has all the challenges one has to overcome in order to become monk. Advisable to look at so called "pull" to monkhood ..and see what exactly you are trying to achieve. If it is to escape the burden of family life . Then monkhood will not be fruitful One need to learn to live unaffected while attending to all the needs of family life . How...that is what therawadi doctrene teaches you to achieve. Once you get to that, whether you stay with family or become a priest is a very small decision. One need a certain thereawadi knowledge to become a person unaffected by ups and downs of family life.
Unfortunately very few places in this world has the correct knowledge to guide you... So seek out " knowledge" which make you cool..or do not get aruosed by happenings of this world . You could get go a stage where a happening .....need not be ignored nor responded".. .for its impact on you. . Your "knowledge" steers you away from both of theses positive or negative responses which are....Automatic reflexes.

So you are free and could continue with what you want to be doing now... free ... Truly unaffected ...light headed with no remorse whatsoevef irrespective of the current issue in hand ...Thereawadi life.. Do you still work yez. Work better ..more effectively... With lot more ease

  • Q >>>What are the drawbacks if I just leave everything and walk away? Commented Oct 29, 2019 at 13:13

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