when the vision or clear seeing of "i am not my feelings" or "there is no self that feels" it brings me back automatically without my free will or volition to the situation that I am trapped in pain
I sympathise, I hope someone gives you a good answer.
I think my experience and the Dhamma includes something like,
- Feelings arise, and cease (and arise again later, etc.)
Whether they arise depends on whether you "feed" them
I'm not sure how to explain feeding, it might include "delighting in" a feeling -- but "delight" doesn't seem a good description when it's a "negative" feeling like fear -- instead of "delight" maybe feeding a feeling also includes developing a "view" like "this is me" and "this is my feeling"
See also an answer to How are 'conceit' and 'identity-view' not the same? for a further description of the difference between a "view" and a more transient conceit.
When they arise and cease (which might be frequently), there may be other feelings and thoughts (perceptions) and so on come to mind -- even including for example awareness of breathing, remembering Dhamma
- Some changes happen quickly, and some slowly, the arising-and-cessation of a feeling may be a pattern which repeats itself -- and (perhaps if you don't feed it) changes gradually, by which I mean over the course of even a couple of years or more
- I think we're taught that feelings arise from "contact" -- perhaps that means contact with a perception, a thought-object or memory -- one of the "slow changes" which might happen is that the contact (or trigger) continues to arise, but the feeling about it changes (or plural, the feelings about it change)
- We're also taught that craving arises from feeling -- including for example the craving for cessation, the craving that a feeling might cease -- and that it's the craving (not just the feeling) which is dukkha -- so that's another point on the wheel at which to affect the cycle, i.e. to recognise that it's with craving that dukkha arises and ceases, recognise dukkha, let "craving" cease
that would mean that my mind,mind object and mind conciousness are contacting at the moment
Yes I think so from my experience -- some kind of "memory".
I'm not sure how exactly fits into the Dhamma of the 12 nidanas -- perhaps memory is a sankhara; and/or perhaps "memory" is simply our name for the re-arising of something, whether that's the re-arising of a view (perhaps a view of self), or a feeling, or situation (a memorable event).
I inexpertly classify those as, generally and simply, mind-objects (then there's contact between mind-object, mind-organ, and mind-consciousness).
How would I be able to stop it
My experience it you can't, contact just happens. But your reaction to it might change, become less painful, when you begin to see it from the perspective of the dhamma (non-self, uncontrollable, impermanent) and to identify components (e.g. craving and attachment) which are what make it painful.
Also if the mind is like a pool of water you might not control the waves which peak and drop, arise and disappear, each moment on the surface -- even so you might affect how agitated the water is, so it might become more or less troubled.
In other words is the feeling inside the mind object. or is it something different that arises after
I think the doctrine of the 12 nidanas says that contact causes feeling causes craving (which is suffering).
I'm not sure that's helpful since by the time you're suffering it has all already happened, so it might be more useful to think of them as "co-arising" or "arising together" -- and as beginning to cease when any of it weakens.
As those (suffering) thought-moments begin to pass or weaken, other moments arise, for example maybe contact with breathing or with memory-of-dhamma.
I'm not sure whether those other contact cause the cessation of suffering or merely co-arise with the cessation, it's probably true to say they at least don't "feed" the suffering nor serve to prolong it (which i.e. "not feeding" is kind of what I was trying to get at in the original answer above).
This seems to be a big confusion for me that would help me to understand
There's a famous story of a "Gordian knot" I heard as a child. It was a famous knot made of rope, a puzzle, and the two ends (beginning and end) of the knot were hidden away within the knot, and nobody could figure out how to undo it -- until someone (who was a Greek equivalent of a world-conquering hero) arrived and, looked at it and, took his sword and just sliced right though it and it fell apart into pieces.
I think that "knot" might be like a "thicket" -- A thicket of wrong views -- and possibly specifically related to any kind of self-view.
Maybe though, I don't know, the Abhidhamma tries to analyse or inspect that kind of detail.
Honestly just by doing this analysis I feel better inside my body beacuse I feel I understand better what I am doing to my self :D
Glad to hear that. Awareness of breath -- tension and non-breathing may co-arise too.
You might also consider doing something else -- being generous, acquiring "merit", doing (ethical) things you don't regret -- maybe that kind of thing results in a different (better) kind of contact.
