Is it forbidden in Thailand and Buddhist religion for a Thai adult female living in the western world to perform consensual oral sex on someone?

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    I'd be useful for all of us to know why would someone downvote this kind of question. If people don't show us our mistakes, how could we learn anything? Jun 2, 2019 at 23:59
  • I voted to close this question because it is not really related to Buddhist philosophy. For example, if the Thai female performed consensual oral sex on her husband, it would not be sexual misconduct. The question is too broad. Jun 3, 2019 at 0:13
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    Are you asking if it is in conformity with the Thai culture or if it breaks the 3rd precept? Jun 3, 2019 at 4:29

4 Answers 4


The Buddhist path is followed by those who voluntarily choose to, i.e., by those who take refuge.

Dhammapada 242 says: "misconduct is the taint in a woman" (malitthiyā duccaritaṃ). Traditionally, in Thailand, monks interpreted this to mean the only allowable sexual partner for a Buddhist woman is her husband. In traditional Thai culture, the sexual purity of a woman & a mother was considered very important. Thus, while the mother remained sexually moral, often it was acceptable for men to occasionally have sex with those women who were outcastes from mainstream society, namely, prostitutes. (Yes - this appears to be a typical characteristic Thai "double standard").

Also, the idea of "consent" has no relevance to the Buddhist path because a "consensual action" may still be an unskillful action that brings harm & suffering. For example, many people consent to have uncommitted sex with eachother yet often such sexual interactions bring suffering, such as anger, blame, addiction, regret, feeling used or heartbreak. The emotional reactions of lonely desperate people (called "hungry ghosts" in Buddhism) searching for sex is often unpredictable. Often people that engage in promiscuous sex have hidden psychological issues.

All religions, including Buddhism, include sex in their moral guidelines because sex is not 100% pleasure and can bring suffering. The Buddha said about sexual pleasures: "They bring little enjoyment and much suffering and disappointment. The perils in them are greater". For example, some individuals even commit suicide due to the loss of a lover. Many men angrily lose their financial wealth when their wife revengefully divorces them. When promiscuous women "hit the wall" due to age & menopause, they often appear susceptible to depression.

Therefore, to attempt to answer this very broad question:

  1. If a Thai adult female living in the western world is a Buddhist that has taken refuge in Buddhism by voluntarily choosing to observe the five precepts; then to perform consensual oral sex on someone apart from her husband or her (same sex) wife would be sexual misconduct.

  2. Regardless, random acts of performing consensual oral sex outside of committed relationships leads to 'rebirth' in the hungry ghost (addiction), animal (shamelessness) & hell (suffering) realms. It is quite obvious the significant amount Western women over 40 years of age using antidepressants is probably largely due to their former sexual promiscuity & broken relationships.

Note: Most Thai people consider themselves to be "Buddhist", even if they have not taken formal vows (refuge) and even if they do not live a moral life. Therefore, if a Thai woman performs oral sex on many different people, she may still consider herself to be a "Buddhist". Even Thai prostitutes may consider themselves to be Buddhists. When I lived in a monastery in Thailand, a renowned corrupt politician ordained as a monk after he was stood down from parliament & lived in the hut next door to me. Therefore, we should be careful not accuse a Thai of not being a (cultural) Buddhist if they do not follow the Buddhist moral precepts.

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    Hi DD! Do you have some source for the statement "It is quite obvious [...] women [...] using antidepressants is probably largely due to their formal sexual promiscuity & broken relationships"? Kind regards! Jun 3, 2019 at 4:45
  • Yes. The source is my own insight of witnessing many women take rebirth into the hell realm. As the Taoist say: "If heaven won't free him; who can save him". Best wishes lusting over wounded women & maintaining hindrances. Jun 3, 2019 at 5:40
  • Insight is a vision of the inner working of the "own" mind. To know others' minds requires a lot more investigation and objectivity (or psychic powers, I guess). Some intuitions may seem right and obvious at first, but sometimes they are the product of our prejudices and biases. I woudn't be so fast to judge and to assume statistics from appearence. Kind regards! Jun 3, 2019 at 6:30
  • I am downvoting this answer with regards to overgeneralizations that doesn't reflect buddhism (point 2).
    – user11699
    Jun 3, 2019 at 16:49
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    I found the phrase "hit the wall" (as defined) disrespectful and sexist -- an inappropriate way to view or to describe your mother, wife, daughter, or sister.
    – ChrisW
    Jun 3, 2019 at 17:21

In all restricted Theravada culture...

As Arahanta Anagami and monks, all sex is for fun with 5 strings. The Buddha taught detach from 5 strings, so it is forbidden for Arahanta Anagami and monks.

However, as Sotapanna and ordinary, who being not monks, the Buddha taught to re-understand misunderstood first, so moral sex, which being harder to detach, is not forbidden for Sotapanna and ordinary.

Sotapanna and Sakadagami, who being not monks, are trying to avoid sex, in processing, so sex is not forbidden for them.

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    This is partially correct. When you say forbidden for Arahanta Anagami and monks its wrong. It should be Arahanta and Anagami monks are not having any desire to have sex as they have completely removed that desire And same applies to Sakadagami, Sotapanna and Ordinary. Nothing is forbidden. Buddhism is not a religion its how the world works. Once you have realised that playing with a toy doesn't make sense, you stop it!
    – Isuru
    Jun 6, 2019 at 6:26
  • @IsuruGunawardana I agree with you. You can edit the answer. Thank you.
    – Bonn
    Jun 6, 2019 at 13:44

Is it forbidden in Thailand and Buddhist religion for a Thai adult female living in the western world to perform consensual oral sex on someone?

"Consensual" is not enough. The relationship needs to be a committed and legit. one. Adulterers "consensually" engage in sexual relationship, but that still absolutely violate the 3rd Precept. So, assuming the relationship is legit., and folks haven't reached any stage of the Noble Fruits, what and how couples conduct their "business" is their own business (obviously assuming they "do" it in their own private room). However, since Buddhism always encourages working toward higher more refined states of mind and eliminating grosser form of pleasures, certain forms of sex acts are considered cruder than the other (ie. it'd require a lot more clinging/attachment/desires to use the mouth on someone's excretory organ versus just letting the 2 excretory organs "do their work", etc.), a good Buddhist would be mindful and strive toward more and more wholesome alternatives, as taught by the Buddha in AN 8.53

  • Hi santa100! When you say "legit", are you using the term referring to the "buddhist law" (the Dhamma) or to laws coming from civil and penal codes? Kind regards! Jun 4, 2019 at 3:09
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    The Buddhist Precepts. Although many of its laws share parallels with the law of the land. And sometime the law of the land would result in more grave consequences if one breaks it (ie. having sex with underage kids under the protection of their parents can result in monetary fine and prison terms. Some country issue capital punishment for commititng adultery, etc.)
    – santa100
    Jun 4, 2019 at 13:14

Is it forbidden in Thailand and Buddhist religion for a Thai adult female living in the western world to perform consensual oral sex on someone?

I don't know that about in Thailand, but In Buddhism nothing is forbidden unless you observe Sila, it may be Five, Eight, Ten and willing to protect at all cost.

Simply you can do whatever you want, but the consequences for things we do were perfectly clarified and told by Lord Buddha. We need to think twice before we do something.

In this case, no matter where she live, whether she have observed Pancha Sila or not, if she isn't with her lawful husband, she broke one of five percepts which causes to very cruel consequences in this life and next afterlife.

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