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From the last few days i have been trying to meditate to generate equanimity.

My question is simple: If i practice equanimity, compassion, loving kindness, forgiveness, there would always be people who would take advantage of that right? For instance if someone comes to steal from me, i should give him my belongings right? Like thats the Buddhist way right? Fighting and resisting is forbidden right?

And he informs 10 other thieves about this kind man. How to be wise in this situation where you know people take advantage of your compassion, niceness?

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    Can you please reference where does the Buddha say not to protect yourself?Just to clarify smth Buddhism teaches compassion and wisdom,not only compassion.So not protecting yourself is illogical to me.I mean even yourself doubt this,couse its not true. ...and this has nothing to do with the nature of this world...
    – user13064
    Apr 17, 2018 at 7:35
  • @D.'s Its clear that Buddhism teaches Wisdom as well, thats exactly what i want to learn, is it wise to defend yourself or let people walk over you? what if this defense involves violence?
    – Abel Tom
    Apr 17, 2018 at 7:57
  • From my experience It's difficult not to react ,you & I certainly can't understand(for the lack of a better word) the teachings of great beings,however I would say this ,when I gained the notion of Emptiness everything became clear to me,seriously I gained depth and understanding of the phenomena and my desire vanished away!If you have had told me I would have never believed you let me quote Kalu:This lack of recognition is like throwing mud or sand into pure water; it becomes sullied or defiled.-So I must say practise ,see,believe!
    – user13064
    Apr 17, 2018 at 8:56

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Resisting or protecting what you have is not forbidden. But you shouldn't kill. It is perfectly fine to say no to someone who is trying to take advantage of you. It's perfectly fine to have a non-lethal security system for your house. That does not get in the way of Brahmavihara.

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    If resisting and protecting is not forbidden, why didn't Vessantara resist when his children were taken from him to serve as slaves?
    – michau
    Apr 18, 2018 at 22:18
  • @michau giving away children and wife completed his Dana Paramitha. It's not like they were taken by force. He gave them willingly,
    – Sankha Kulathantille
    Jun 24, 2019 at 18:29
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If i practice equanimity, compassion, loving kindness, forgiveness, there would always be people who would take advantage of that right?

Yes there will be people who will like to take advantage of your position to prove their point. But it is generally our own karma which puts us in the bad position. If you are really good then no one can, I repeat no one can steal even a single penny from you.

For instance if someone comes to steal from me, i should give him my belongings right?

Yes and remember Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.Give up your belongings and be grateful that he did not hurt you. If he hurts you be grateful that he did not kill you.

Like thats the Buddhist way right? Fighting and resisting is forbidden right?

I dont exactly know about the Buddhist way but from I have read, the right way to find in which ways you are blessed and find a way to bless the tormentor.

And he informs 10 other thieves about this kind man. How to be wise in this situation where you know people take advantage of your compassion, niceness?

As I said it is generally your own karma which confronts you with bad situations. Do not run away from it. Do not fill your heart with hate. Just realize that what is needed is more compassion and not less.

I quote a famous verse from Dhammapada:

Hatred is, indeed, never appeased by hatred in this world. It is appeased only by loving-kindness. This is an ancient law.

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  • Karma is extremely complex to understand, like i still cant make sense why should i pay for my deeds in my previous births in this lifetime. So you're right in a way, if i am in that situation , my deeds/thoughts from current/previous lifetime are responsible for the situation.
    – Abel Tom
    Apr 17, 2018 at 11:13
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If someone attempts to rob you it is wise not to resist and give them what they ask for because of safety reasons, you are less likely to be hurt in that situation. If your intention is to practice generosity there are better ways to do that and practice the Dhamma. Buddhist need to stop thinking that practicing the Dhamma means allowing people to walk over you and take advantage of your practice.

You have a right to your life, liberty and your property, just don't let your attachment add to your physical or mental suffering. If you want to practice that level of non attachment become a monastic.

If he tells others that you are an easy mark you will have to use your wisdom to avoid those circumstances because sooner or later you will meet a thief who lacks wisdom and compassion and will hurt you.

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No, what you have learned seems like it is crippling you. No, just do what you do. The great Rinzai Master, once said Followers of the way, often get frustrated by thinking that Theory, Practice, and reality somehow have to be perfectly aligned. No, When you are able to follow this advice, which wasn't spoken to you, in the first place. Then, more power to you. If you are really asking these questions in good faith, which I doubt, just "do your best", That's it. Keep asking questions. Here read this The criterion for rejection 4. "It is proper for you, Kalamas, to doubt, to be uncertain; uncertainty has arisen in you about what is doubtful. Come, Kalamas. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another's seeming ability; nor upon the consideration, 'The monk is our teacher.' Kalamas, when you yourselves know: 'These things are bad; these things are blamable; these things are censured by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to harm and ill,' abandon them. Now, I found a link for you to read the entire Teaching. Please, respect yourself, and think for yourself.https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an11/an11.013.than.html Take Care, be happy, Please take care of your health. Enjoy life.

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For instance if someone comes to steal me, i should give him my belongings right? Like thats the Buddhist way right? Fighting and resisting is forbidden right?

The Buddha teaches us the path to enlightenment. When enlightenment occurs, the sense of self, attachment, and suffering no longer arise.

In my opinion, the Buddhist way is analyzing your experience in order to cultivate wisdom and become enlightened.

If someone attepts to steal from you, yes a Buddhist who is attempting to emulate an arahant would give the thief their belongings. But now that your things are gone, how do you react? Are you attached to those possessions? Where does that attachment come from? What does it feel like deep within you?

If you have walked the path, it is impossible for someone to steal from you.

If you are walking the path and your goal is enlightenment, what is most important is not what happens and how you act, but how through your investgation of your experience is. Training in morality is essential, but I would argue not as important as concentration and wisdom.

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    so basically it is not posible to live a Buddhist life in this consumerist, materialistic way, i thought it were possible. The only option is to become a monk by renouncing all your possessions?
    – Abel Tom
    Apr 17, 2018 at 7:36
  • No that is not true, and if that's how my post came across, I apologize for the miscommunication. What I am suggesting that there is nothing wrong with how you are living right now! You don't need to change how you live, you just need to keep meditating and keep investigating your existence. Then, once attain certain understandings, things will naturally change, and your suffering, attachments, and sense of self will stop becoming.
    – w33t
    Apr 17, 2018 at 15:59
  • Okay, thank you for the clarification, it's just that it's really hard , this path towards enlightenment, being constantly mindful of your thoughts and actions, its not easy. I was not the one who downvoted your answer by the way.
    – Abel Tom
    Apr 17, 2018 at 16:58
  • Good luck on your path my friend! The road is difficult but have faith! If you keep trying, there's no doubt in my mind you will cultivate what you are looking for.
    – w33t
    Apr 17, 2018 at 17:59

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