Ever since I was a child I was very look concious. I took pride from my looks and took shame from them as well. I'm at a point where my sense of worth is mainly derived from such an unstable, diminishing and limited resource and this inconsistency is causing me a lot of suffering.
How to lose identification with my body?

  • You have to look at yourself and think this body will age and get old and theres nothing to be attached to...
    – phuong
    Commented Feb 11, 2021 at 7:05
  • Read the middle length discourse of the buddha chapter 140 the exposition of the elements
    – phuong
    Commented Feb 11, 2021 at 7:08

3 Answers 3


On one practical side: be mindful. Meditate daily. Understand that the suffering and joy derived from your appearance is impermanent and doesn’t matter much. It is wise that you seek to reduce this attachment, but don’t do it from a place of aversion and anxiety. Accept your current way of thinking, and be patient and compassionate with your self about making a change.

On a deeper side: reflect on the fact that you are a bag of meat and organs. There’s a great talk from the Buddha about this, see if you can find it. Try to see things more clearly, more objectively. Understand that your body will gradually deteriorate and decay. Be ready for that. Of course you can take care of it, but understand that the body is not YOU, but a mere vessel with an expiration date.

Priding yourself of your body is no different than doing it with your car or house. It’s just a mere accessory.

This answer doesn’t have a clear solution but hopefully will point you to the right direction to find a solution yourself. :)


Recontextualise the situation you are in can really help.

A good exemple is when you are surround by a lot of people. You can close your eyes, and start to imagine how you physically look like in other people's eyes. With no judgement, just from simple and pure observation. Like if they looked at a flower.

Then you can start to look around, and realize that people are not different than you. They have the same thinking, same shames and desires.

By doing so, we can realise that we are not alone, and how we look like, matter only if you decide it does.

Meditate can definitly permit you to vusalise this more naturally.


I suspect you are a beautiful woman. If so, you are referring to a consciousness that many beautiful women have. But, before you view this as bad of you, you should view an interview on YouTube of the Dalai Lama by Piers Morgan. In this interview, Morgan asked the Dalai Lama, “Do you ever feel temptation when you see a woman?” The Dalai Lama’s reply, “Oh yes. Sometimes I say, ‘this is very nice.’ But then thinking ‘too much problem.’” My suggestion is that, if the Dalai Lama finds a beautiful woman attractive, then there must be something good about it, even if it is a problem for him. The reality is that, if you are conscious of being beautiful, then it is due to the fact that people see you as beautiful and they experience beauty as a good thing. Hence, your consciousness of being beautiful is not a delusion and your sense of worth is based upon a worth experienced by others. Of course, this is a problem for you because your beauty is not you. This is not a problem with identification, but a problem with a misleading process of social perception. Pride and shame are understandable consequences. In answer to your question, do not try to “lose identification” with your body, instead, understand the social process and how it can be confusing or complicated for someone, you in particular.

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