I have a couple of questions due to a recent unfortunate event that had happened, happy if you guys could share your view base on your practices.

1) How does a Buddhist cope with grief and loss? Is there any most effective way that would helps eliminating the pain a little lesser?

2) In Theravada Buddhism, does one practices having vegetarian for 49 days after passing of a family member?

3) In Theravada Buddhism, does transferring merit to the decease works? Like chanting, donation, charity and etc.

Thanks and sadhu sadhu sadhu.

1 Answer 1



(1) It's good to remember Kisagotami Theri and Pañcasata Patacara: The Soothing of Grief and all the teachings about the cause of suffering: "Beyond Coping: The Buddha's Teachings on Aging, Illness, Death, and Separation"

(2) It's good to keep the Uposatha as long as possible.

(3) Sure, not that one might get like a piece of cake, but what ever the departed might be able to take as possibility. For their best possible wellbeing in the future, one looks after providing to keep the Dhamma alive. Read more: [Q&A] How can merit be transferred? and [Q&A] Hungry ghosts and food offerings to the dead, [Q&A] Body feels like crying - Death of beloved

Practicing metta, possible start with the beloved and then expand it is good. To bring alms food to monks and dedicate it, is good. It's in buddhist countries usual to give sets of house tools, starting from glas, pot, ... to what ever good for a new house hold, dedicate it as present for the departured and give such to monks.

It's good to have a small shrine for ones ancestors and other spirits near and to give best aways a share before eating. (one might put the food firt on this place, offer it, and the ask to take it, before eating one self). Reminding that ever new appearing living being around could be ones previous beloved, is a very good present best act, taking them as such and avoid harming best possible.

Also a retreat and/or attentive talks with wise monks or nuns are conductive.

[Note: This is a gift of Dhamma and not meant for commercial purpose or other low wordily gains by means of trade and exchange.]

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