I noticed that when I engage in a task I am very able until I reach my limit, namely the point where I had enough, where effort and suffering kicks in. I noticed:

  • When I reach that point I lose energy, thinking becomes more difficult, confused. With something I enjoy it is the opposite.
  • When I reach that points demotivating thoughts as "This is worthless," "What's the point of doing this?" occur.

Even in meditation I am able to go a long time without effort or difficulty if I feel like it, but when there is resistance I fall asleep or want to do something else.

My question is: how can one increase their tolerance to physical pain and effort, suffering, etc. -- all the things linked with aversion to negative states? (Keep in mind that when I meditate at the wrong time I fall asleep or encounter difficulty).

Thank you.

  • Is it about ill-will (e.g. torward an object, person) or just lack of pleasant feeling at this stage? – user11235 Oct 27 '17 at 17:22
  • Not ill-will, just aversion to negative states, e.g. displeasure, effort, pain. – Eggman Oct 27 '17 at 17:33
  • Toward feeling? Who's feeling? – user11235 Oct 27 '17 at 17:35

Given the psychological nature of sankhara (schemata), you have very understandable and intelligent reasons for having a “pattern of strong aversion” in terms of past experience. In other words, past experience in this lifetime and probably in previous lifetimes has given you substantial reasons to experience strong aversion today. Circumstances and experiences of the past have caused you to adapt to the world with aversion as a strategy for dealing with hardship. There is no blame here, but it is difficult to revise or unlearn strong patterns of adaptation. In Theravadin Buddhism, the classical remedy for modifying aversion is the development of bliss experienced during full samadhi. There are several Buddhist meditations that lead to full samadhi. Indeed, your own Bodhicitta will direct you towards full samadhi. It is important that you do not push yourself to the point where aversion kicks in. You might consider a full retreat in some beautiful countryside meditation center. I wish you well.

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