There are multiple question related to this already asked, but none of the response or question address as to why children are presented in Buddhist text as inessential, such as these:
… That is not a strong fetter, the wise say, which is made of iron, wood or hemp. But the infatuation and longing for jewels and ornaments, children and wives — that, they say, is a far stronger fetter, which pulls one downward and, though seemingly loose, is hard to remove…
… Ten children I bore from this physical heap. Then weak from that, aged, I went to a nun. She taught me the Dhamma
…. Those with children grieve because of their children. Those with cattle grieve because of their cows. A person's grief comes from acquisitions, since a person with no acquisitions doesn't grieve…
again What the Buddha said to Visakha when she express her wish to have as many children & grandchildren.
“those who have a hundred dear ones have a hundred sufferings”
and many more can be listed.
With such representation, how do lay Buddhists reconcile have children ask skillful?