Why can't I be happy in the pursuit of Nirvana?

Question

If you are happy, you will have to face sorrow right? So I am being told to just observe everything with equanimity or Anapana. TBH which is very boring So I observed that instead of thinking of everything leads to sorrow in this world, why not enjoy this moment. (Is is necessary to keep observing when you are happy.)

After all we want Nirvana because we are looking for a being in a state of something eternal, Which is equanimity.

According to me Equanimity is not happiness for sure.

In this Video Philosopher and writer Jim Holt says we can't live like dead humans as per Buddhism and think like a western.

I have experienced intoxication occasionally and I was in to Anapana for nearly a week and I have kept myself safe from any kind of intoxication for a year, everything was going smooth breathing while walking, lying, sitting, talking not always but I was satisfied with my pace of being aware.

But this weekend I had nothing to do and suddenly a teeny tiny thought arises which says to get drunk and at the same time one of my friend said the same thing and we get drunk.

I was still trying to figure out what is happening in mind, Why I am feeling different now.

I know I should not be drinking is there anyway I can punish myself. I was actually scared of getting attacked by mind when alone. It attacked.

Should i keep in doing Anapana as i believes that it cuts your Karmic chain for the moment.

Answer 1

If you are happy, you will have to face sorrow right? So I am being told to just observe everything with equanimity or Anapana. TBH which is very boring So I observed that instead of thinking of everything leads to sorrow in this world, why not enjoy this moment. (Is is necessary to keep observing when you are happy.)

To answer this section: You are temporarily right to try to be happy this moment. A wise person would think "How can I maintain this happiness forever without changing?". A sensible person, upon contemplating the matter for some time, realizes there is nothing created that he or she can retain forever. He or she furthermore realizes such possessions can't be guaranteed to be with oneself beyond death. Thus, a wise person decides the boring path provides freedom from such a mass, sorrow and disappointment.

After all we want Nirvana because we are looking for a being in a state of something eternal, Which is equanimity

According to me Equanimity is not happiness for sure.

To answer this section: Eternity is a word used to describe something that was created and lasts for ever. Nirvana isn't such a thing that is created. Nirvana has not been described as equanimity in the Tipitaka to my knowledge.

I have experienced intoxication occasionally and I was in to Anapana for nearly a week and I have kept myself safe from any kind of intoxication for a year, everything was going smooth breathing while walking, lying, sitting, talking not always but I was satisfied with my pace of being aware.

But this weekend I had nothing to do and suddenly a teeny tiny thought arises which says to get drunk and at the same time one of my friend said the same thing and we get drunk.

I was still trying to figure out what is happening in mind, Why I am feeling different now.

To answer this section: Where is that thought now? Did it come to your mind out of your own will? Can you control it? If you can't control it, is it suitable to think the thought is me, mine, or my soul?

I know I should not be drinking is there anyway I can punish myself. I was actually scared of getting attacked by mind when alone. It attacked.

To answer this section: I suggest your reward yourself by contemplating the benefits of avoiding drinking rather than punishing yourself. I'm sure there's plenty online resources to explain these benefits apart from a Buddhist context.

Should i keep in doing Anapana as i believes that it cuts your Karmic chain for the moment.

To answer this section: False. If a person can cut the karmic chain for a moment as such and dies, he'll attain Nirvana. There is no moment a lay person is void of Karmic chain (sankhara). This is what binds us to bhava (world, so to speak).

I suggest your practice Satipattana Meditating which includes Anapana Sathi and extends a more insightful consciousness to day to day activity.

Buddha has asked us (citation needed) to travel in the Noble Eightfold Path even if it means crying along the way. Why Buddha says so is because he knows, and intelligent people understand that if someone missed the opportunity to understand the Four Noble Truths, the resultant suffering can be extremely large.

Buddha has said

Nibbanam Paraman Sukhan

Which translates to

Ultimate Luxury is Nibbana

Answer 2

I answer, since you tagged Tibetan Buddhism. However, personal practice is a serious matter and I believe you should ask a qualified teacher.

After all we want Nirvana because we are looking for a being in a state of something eternal, Which is equanimity.

No, in Mahayana, we want to achieve enlightenment in order to be able to benefit all sentient beings uninterruptedly, without limitations of ours (death being one of them).

Instead of focusing on equanimity, rather train in being patient, content, and have few desires. First, there is less risks of being confused about what patience, contentment and few desires are. Second, it is more at reach for a beginner. Third, aversion to pain causes much unhappiness while patience opposes this. We suffer a great deal just because we have the notion that we would be better off without this or that, or having this or that. Discontent and desires also create much unhappiness.

Tibetan do not usually emphasize Anapana. The concentration factor is in general just a means for the mind to become stable and flexible, and then abide in virtue. Right now, it's difficult to study for a long period of time, or to meditate for a long period of time. Body and mind get sore and exhausted, there is pain and boredom. We cultivate the three factors of concentration, mindfulness and introspection by doing Anapana (or usually focusing on the mental image of the body of the buddha) simply to become able to abide in virtue for as long as we want. It is like opening your eyes to then get to see this and that. Unfortunately, there are people who engage in Anapana meditation and the like just to feel better, temporarily sheltered from their issues, away from their usual obsessive and discursive thoughts, etc. These are not wholesome motivations. Great teachers usually say: if you want to relax, take a nap. It's way easier than meditating.

Meditation should not replace the bottle. It should not be a means to bury your head in the sand or an anesthetic that makes your life more bearable.

There is no better way to damage the karma you have accumulated than:

• Purifying by way of the four opponent powers
• Restraining from non-virtue by upholding discipline (turning away from the 10 non-vritues, taking refuge and lay vows, etc.)
• Abiding by wholesome habits such as not oversleeping, taking refuge six times a day, setting motivation before engaging in activities, dedicating after, offering food before you eat, offering drink (even water) before you drink completing activities
• Studying the teachings of the Buddha, because this will help you see things the way they are
• Cultivating altruistic intention, opposing self-cherishing. This makes the mind vaster, open, and inclined in virtue.

Answer 3

It's a good thing to notice joyful and happy states and also to notice when states change. We know that everything is impermanent yet when we are in the throes of misery and suffering it can feel as though we will never be happy again. But the more we practice being aware of positive states and the changing of states the more we will train our minds to realise when we are down that negative states do change and that we can choose more skillful ways of thinking to create more positive states.

Everything does not lead to sorrow. I don't think this is the correct way to see it. Sorrow is just part of this life as happiness and joy are. We meet both with equanimity knowing that neither last. Don't cling or avoid either but practice noticing that they change. It's the clinging and aversion that lead to suffering.

As far as your comment about wanting a "punishment" for alcohol use. I'm not sure why you are asking for such a thing. Buddhism does not subscribe to the idea of punishments for anything.

I see absolutely no problem with enjoying 1 or 2 glasses of wine every now and then but if you drink too much and you feel bad after then learn from that. Is it worth the few hours of fun for the self flagellation, nausea, headaches and general physical fatigue you experience after?

If you drink too much again can you maybe try to notice how much you fall into a self loathing mindset after? Notice the feelings of guilt, shame etc and try to be compassionate and gentle with yourself. You are human, you can and will make mistakes. It's how we learn. Having fun and connecting with people is healthy. Alcohol is a big part of that within our culture but you have the choice to control what and how much you ingest. If you feel like you have lost control and the peer pressure is too great I would suggest seeking some support eg counselling etc.

If your friends show no sign of ever changing their heavy drinking habits then maybe it's time to make new friends. I had to do this and as hard as it was it was better than staying stuck with people who were slowly destroying their lives.

Answer 4

Sathi means consciousness. Pattänaya means wedge (something that we keep to prevent an object rolling down an inclined plane). Sathi Pattänaya can be used to wedge the consciousness in order to understand the Four Noble Truths (wedge here, is mentioned as an example).

Sathi Pattänaya is Four Fold - Käyänupassanä, Cittänupassanä, Védanänupassanä, Dhammänupassanä.

Käyänupassanä is the observation of body of oneself and others with Sammä Ditti explained in the Noble Eightfold Path.

Cittänupassanä is the observation of mind of oneself and others with Sammä Ditti explained in the Noble Eightfold Path.

Védanänupassanä is the observation of experiences of oneself and others with Sammä Ditti explained in the Noble Eightfold Path.

Dhammänupassanä is the observation of phenomina of oneself and others with Sammä Ditti explained in the Noble Eightfold Path.

While these can be practiced separately, a skillful apprentice will practice all four of these observations from the time he or she wakes to the time he or she sleeps. It is also important to note that anäpänä sathi meditation is practiced under Käyänupassanä with a clear understanding of Samma Ditti.

It is important to note that throughout this meditation Buddha repeats that one should affirm these observants are not me, not mine, not my soul.

Added as a separate answer due to a requisition by the initial poster of the question. This can be moved into a separate question "What is sathipattäna meditation?"

Answer 5

You do not have to be a pauper to be a monk. A monk is one who is detached from his possessions. Your possessions exists only in your mind. Similar thing is with happiness. Happiness is a state of heart a positive state of heart. The trouble with happiness is that it does not last long. The moment its gone you will start yearning for it and unhappiness will set it. It is a yo-yo affair. Happiness is a good start. People who are serious seldom reach anywhere. Happiness will drop on its own when you progress further. You should not be bothered about something which is of not much value. Just be happy do not try to be happy and everything will be fine.

Answer 6

Should i keep in doing Anapana as i believes that it cuts your Karmic chain for the moment.

When you are practicing Anapana, aware of what is happening, what happens is that your citta (mind) occurs close to state of pure mind. So what happens is you are dissipating your ability to produce Kamma (Karma) and purifying the mind. This is true for all forms of Sathipattana or Mindfulness. (Anapanasati is a Kayanupassana. You can find more details from the Maha Satipatthana Sutta and Anapanasati Sutta.)

One day, if you can preserve very good Moral conduct, including abstinence from alchohol, and you develop sufficient Samadhi (concentration), then you can cut the Karmic chain, experience Nibbana and become a Sotapanna. This is the true turning point in the practice.

Although absolute Nibbana (Nirvana) is only achieved after death after experiencing enlightenment, there are experiences of cutting the karmic chain which can be achieved while you are alive. These are called fruitions. There are four fruitions (sotapanna, sakadagami, anagami, arhat) as well as "Pala Samapatti".

Answer 7

"Nirvana is beyond concepts" Happiness is a relative state opposed by sadness. We only know happiness because we compare it with sadness. These are concepts.