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it is a well-observed fact that that the cycle of emotions never cease to exist, but they do follow a defined route which I shall refer to in this question as the SFE route namely: A sensation-----feeling-------emotions(----represents"gives rise to")say, when I eat a doughnut, the sensation is of eating, feeling of pleasure, and emotion of happiness. how can I use a similar mindset of this technique to counter lust like emotions which arise and disturb through my meditation practice and sometimes cause me to relapse on my bad track of sexual misconduct.

for eg: when a lustful thought emerges in my mind is suppress it easily by satipathana and mindfulness however when a thought arises related to the act of copulation, it becomes impossible to suppress it as it is very difficult to view the act objectively.(i.e without any biased feelings and from a neutral point of view).this thought then keeps appearing until I finally give into my bad ways of self-pleasuring as I am a novice-in-training and not being accepted due to this reason. P.S: please forgive me if this answer seems to violate or copy other answers, i am new to the various technicalities of this website and will take time to adjsut.

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Once a woman becomes sexually active but does not have a permanent partner, it is difficult for her to stop engaging in sex for seeking a partner. Therefore, women give the 'impression' they want to have sex just like men do, i.e., for a short term pleasure. However, this 'impression' is false & a deception. Yet there is an entertainment (movie) industry devoted to giving the public this wrong impression.

The Buddha taught women want to find a husband, not share a husband with another wife, have children & control/dominate her husband (AN 6.52).

What I am saying is when thoughts arise related to the act of copulation, these thoughts are generally about scenarios that are implicitly harmful. These thoughts are only sexual objectifying women with no respect for a woman's emotions & feelings and no regard for the potential consequences. These thoughts have no real love & no compassion. In summary, they are harmful thoughts about doing harmful things.

The mind can only sustain such thoughts when it wrongly believes the imagined sexual acts are pleasurable to both parties & not harmful. But in reality, the acts are harmful. That is why our world is full of broken-hearted & lost souls, both men & women.

In religion, it is generally taught if you want to have sex with a woman, you should marry her. This is right view. Therefore, when you have sexual thoughts, think about marrying that woman, having children with her, working for her & having her boss you around & nag you, like her slave. If you adjust your thoughts like this, the thoughts about copulation may stop.

The method the Buddha used before his enlightenment is at MN 19.

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  • all was dandy but if you could please just rephrase the 1st paragraph(don't mind a bit,i happen to suffer from brain fog) – littlemonk Dec 26 '16 at 17:20
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    I intended to say women generally are really interested in long term relationships rather than short term sex – Dhammadhatu Dec 27 '16 at 0:18
  • but they give a fake impression because they too are swayed by the false emotions and pleasures of copulation? – littlemonk Dec 27 '16 at 13:01
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    No. For men, it is the physical sensation of copulation. For women, it is mostly the pleasure of companionship & feeling they are attractive. This is where most people are blind to women. Women seek short term sex because they are suffering. They suffer from being alone and suffer from their past failures. They need to feel they are still attractive & still sexually competent (rather than failures). Listen to this video from 3:50 to 4:10 youtube.com/watch?v=zQFOrwyFopA&t=2s Although this woman was raped & abused for many years, she still needed affirmation from men. – Dhammadhatu Dec 27 '16 at 19:03
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It can work out that Satipatthana can help one let go of desire. Usually, as you may know, Satipatthana isn't to suppress but to see the truth.

Our sex drives are strong though and if they are too strong for standard Satipatthana then they can be surpressed by other techniques like the naming of the parts of the body, that can have a repulsive affect on sensual desire. An other good technique to turn one off quick is to look at autopsy photos. That is also good for reflecting on death. These little practices really are very supportive of the main Satipatthana practice.

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  • can we develop repulsion towards the act itself?what i mean to say is that i have a certain disdain for the human body, but when i think about the pleasure that might be derived from intercourse (irrespective of whether the body is desirable or not)i fail to reason and therefore, relapse. – littlemonk Dec 26 '16 at 9:01
  • We're did you get the disdain for the human body? Sex is a distraction to meditation , a nuisance but these defilments can end up teaching us things you know... not that we should be trying for sex. At the point were you are forgetting and thinking about the feelings and the formations, if you can grab yourself with a heroic courage from the depths then this knot should loosen greatly but who knows what will happen. We all got unused courage in there, we really fail to see our individual courage. – Lowbrow Dec 26 '16 at 18:26

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