advice solicitated:i went to a wedding to perfect my mantra recitation and help around in the vedic work say,setting the "havan-kunda" etc.at night on the last day while i was sleeping in the outhouse,my sister was sleeping beside me, well aware of this fact,was in deep sleep,in my sleep i saw an arousing dream and then in a semi awake sate put my arms around her first in a brotherly way,but then lust gripped me,but i immediately retracted my hand and then went to bed..crying...my questions are...will god forgive me for my sin....moreover i did not spill my virya(semen)but i did commit a break in Brahmachari(out of the 8 breaks)so have i lost my rank of a Brahmachari ?????please help me.....(though this queation pertains to hinduism,i feel my Buddhist brothers and sisters can help)

  • Buddhists might like to help, but maybe cannot answer the questions which you actually asked, which were "will god forgive me for my sin?" and "have i lost my rank of a Brahmachari?" This site is meant to be for helping to answer whatever question was asked, not for advice (Answers vs Advice). – ChrisW Dec 25 '16 at 11:19

In my opinion, you have not lost your brahmacharya because your action was not intentional because your mind was in partial sleep. In Buddhism, for sin or transgression to occur, it seems there must be conscious intention.

If you want to train in discipline like a Buddhist, you should never sleep with your sister, let alone with any other female, even your mother, let alone in public, because, for a brahmacharya, nocturnal emission can happen anytime.

Buddhists do not believe in God. Sexual arousal is caused by chemicals, electrons & hormones and only enlightened beings do not have sexual arousal. Sexual arousal is 'not-self' ('anatta').

The error you made was to sleep with your sister. As a brahmacharya, you must not do this because a brahmacharya should no longer behave like an ordinary householder.


Give up Hinduism & any views of a God. Take refuge in the Triple Gem.

Yes, you break the third of the eight precepts the moment you touch someone with lustful intent. But you can retake the Eight precepts after taking refuge in the Tripe Gem.

If you wish to keep the eight precepts, avoid getting in a bed with any woman. Avoid sleeping in the same bed with your sister in any case!

For meditation, try Patikulamanasikara or Satipattana.

(1) Nigrodha, you may think,
    ‘The recluse Gotama says this to win disciples.’ This is not so.
        Let whoever is your teacher remain as your teacher.
(2) You may think,
    ‘The recluse Gotama says this to make us fall from our rules.’ This is not so.
        Let your rules remain as your rules.
(3) You may think,
    ‘The recluse Gotama says this to make us fall from our livelihood.’ This is not so.
       Let your livelihood remain as your livelihood.
(4) You may think,
    ‘The recluse Gotama says this to make us do unwholesome things and follow unwholesome teachings.’ This is not so.
       Let what you consider unwholesome continue to be so considered.
(5) You may think,
    The recluse Gotama says this to separate us from wholesome things and wholesome teachings.’ This is not so.
        Let what you consider wholesome continue to be so considered.
—I do not speak for any of these reasons.

Udumbarika Sihanada Sutta

According to the above statement you do not have to change any of your practices and faiths. In addition to whatever practices you are doing now practice:

  • Morality - whatever faith system you subscribe to cannot have anything to do against morality
  • Mastery over the mind - no faith system would advocate being compulsive slave your of mind
  • Wisdom - no faith system can have anything against wisdom to know things as they are than being deluded

The above system is also systemised as the Noble Eightfold Path. As you progress in this path your faith in Buddhism will increase based on your experience of reality. The experienced reality does not change by what ever label you apply to your self. Call yourself a Hindu if you may but the Dhamma will still work. But to start with you should have some basic level of faith also otherwise you will not practice in earnest or may mix and match the techniques which might lead to undesired results.

In this instance it is difficult to say if there was a moral transgression as it is difficult to establish if there was intention. There is ongoing a debate about this type of activity. You might want to read:

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