I'm kind of curious, some people may have looked a little aloof and cold from the outside, and get commented on this too but deep down she/he isn't like this. She/he are probably just quiet and doesn't mingle around, don't think it's a wrong trait? How can metta help on this? And how can metta be practiced on situation like this? Thanks.

1 Answer 1


Loving Kindness, I would think.

You are asking, really, what should we do when confronted with an unpleasant person (who is unpleasant in any way, including appearance). We cannot NOT be human, and so our reactions are, and will be, whatever they will be.

However, if you relax and give freely, of your attention and time, you may find their attitude changing towards you. You will also find your reactions changing. Through that process of feedback comes learning.

To be very clear, "giving freely" doesn't mean "giving without discretion". Give only what you would give to anyone on earth. Use your discrimination to determine how much farther you are willing to go in compassion. And end the interaction if you decide it is no longer fruitful.

  • thanks for sharing. I think the situation is, let me give you a scenario. The person actually have no ill-intention or whatsoever, probably she is just a quiet person by nature,probably with a lil low self-esteem. The person may not mingle around or do some networking at work and that could sometimes jeopardize her career or image at work. As much as possible,the person tried her best to fit in but sometimes got misunderstood for something else. How does metta-practice come into place for situation like this and how does metta-practice helps in this? Thanks. Oct 3, 2016 at 12:35

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