@ZenJin, there’s something that you and I and all of us can get from Priestess Diotima’s advice to Socrates. She said to him:
”There are two kinds of families, one is the karmic family that you beget and marry; the other is the true family and Spiritual family. These are the people who share your knowledge and follow your aspirations and dreams. These are the people who share your bliss.”
“O Diotima why could not these be the same? Why cannot I have my Karmic family be the same as my Spiritual family?” cried Socrates.
”On a rare occasion this can happen. In your case your Karma is to have a nagging wife and unresponsive children. In your passed life you must have invoked this Karma by your own deeds.” Said Diotima.
Your predicament, @ZenJin, is having to host these people. Since you cannot get away from it, as your wife too has a equal say on it, what lessons could you learn from it, to further your Dhamma path? You can either create suffering and stress around this event, or let it be a lesson in Dhamma by thinking in terms of the four noble truths. Or think that it is of your own making, and let it pass without thinking too much about it (verbal fabrication), and not trying to bring up past unpleasant memories of them (mental fabrication). Then this can provoke anger in you (bodily fabrication). Likewise you can think through Dhamma, as these thing you just can’t get rid of; it’s like a cart wheel tightly fastened by an iron pin.
” “Dear Monks, these beings live having Karma as what they own. They live inheriting the Karma, making it the birth place, and making it their relative. The Karma is their refuge. If a friendly or evil karma is performed, that Karma will be his inheritance.” - (Sansappanii Pariyāya Sutta – A.N. 10th Nipātha)
Instead of creating any unpleasantness , if mindfully you see such a situation in a positive light?
“Dear Monks, if a person with the Sammā Ditthi has a bodily action, an action with respect to words, an action with respect to mind, an intention, an existence, an aim, and Karma (Sanskāra) that cause effects according to his view, all these will result in fulfilled, as desired, and pleasurable things. What is the reason for that? Dear Monks, that view is pleasant. Dear Monks, it is like this: let’s think that a seed of sugar cane or hill rice or grape was planted in a wet ground. If these seeds grow well by drawing nutrition and water from the earth, all these will result in sweet and tasty products. What’s the reason for that? Dear Monks, it’s because it was a pleasant seed.” - (A. N. 3rd Nipatha)
Past kammas are non-eternal. So come into the Path, and free yourself of it.
“Dear Monks, what does it mean by freeing oneself from the Karma? The touching of the freedom by freeing oneself from the Karma done by body, words, and mind is known as the freeing from Karma.
Dear Monks, what is the path to free from Karma? It is the Eight Noble Path: Sammā Ditthi, Sammā Sankappa, Sammā Vāchā, Sammā Kammantha, Sammā Aajeeva, Sammā Vāyāma, Sammā Sathi, and Sammā Samādhi. Dear Monks, this is called the path of freeing oneself from the Karma.” - (Kamma Sutta – S. N. 4)