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I have recently dedicated my life towards a search for an practice of a right livelihood. I was acquainted to buddhist philosophy before and set my mind on clearing any preconceived ideas about it and start from the very beginning available for me. Since there is absolutely no way to meet a teacher in person in the present for me, I tried to grasp the right understanding through various sources on the web, including this SE.

At first I was convinced that I should follow a Theravada practice. Doubts arose and sent me to an alternative path. This is, most likely a result of my ego, interested in a more profound modification of daily life with emphasis on real "personification" of the doctrine. This made me look for Zen tradition.

I believe this episode is just a way for me to perceive that any choice I make now will be a direct effect of the attachment to an ego. Thus, I am humble to notice that beautiful opportunity this doubt has brought to me in order tO seek for any available guidance right now.

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    So far as I know, this meta-topic Which type of Buddhism is for me? suggested that there's no objective way to answer that question.
    – ChrisW
    Apr 11, 2016 at 21:00
  • I understand. I guess that, for a beginner, the self is primarily responsible for an initial attachment to a given tradition and, as one proceeds on the path, the deconstruction of a notion of a self will prove to be a desirable effect of the correct practices, leading to an assurance of the right choice or a need to look for other practices if otherwise. Apr 11, 2016 at 21:28

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This is just a suggestion, but in the Mahayana practice, there is a sect called the SGI. The followers consider them selves "lay-buddhists" and the goal of the practice is to atrain buddhahood and ultimately help create a world of world peace. The community in my experience is very supportive and a nice community to become apart of. I know that it is seen by some as a religion that doesn't have value and that the leader isn't enlightened, but part of the reason for that is because the sutra on which the SGI is based upon is the lotus sutra which is very different ideologically than that of many other sutras. In my opinion, the religion itself, since it doesn't have monks or nuns, as well as other common aspects of many religions, is more of a philosophy. The philosophy, in my opinion, has lots of depth and is very interesting. Here is a website if you want to learn more:

What the SGI is about: http://www.sgi.org/our-story.html

The main website: http://www.sgi.org

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