First of all here is a place for you to go and learn Buddhism. You will find good friends there. This is the monastery where i learned from and that's why i mentioned it so as it might be a bit far away use the Web Site mentioned and it will help you immensely.(I learned most of what i know from the site too, so i'm sure you will learn a lot of things.)
Mahamevnawa Buddhist Monastery and Buddha Meditation
Centre of Greater Toronto
Address - 11175 Kennedy Rd, Markham, ON L6C 1P2, Canada
Phone:+1 905-927-7117
Website : mahamevnawa.ca
Now lets see what is wrong with your efforts....
Anxiety,Anger,Hate,Pressure all are generated from something called "Patigha". The proper English translation would be "Colliding with thoughts".
Now lets see what it is all about and how to fix it......
"Patigha" Or colliding with thoughts happen because of one reason and that is the willingness to accept Aggressive thoughts. When you accept Angry or violent thoughts what happens is very simple, Your Mind start to react to it. What it does is feeding more emotions and thoughts that goes along with the Aggression that already exist.
This causes you to feel angry and then you are anxious Eventually you are frustrated. This situation is completely normal and it is very simple to fix.
Now lets see how to fix the issue....
Anger has a way of becoming a big cloud that shadows a persons judgement. Before you know it the anger that you had for something or for someone turns into hating yourself and sooner it turns into an anger towards the world. This turns a person into a dull angry one and ironically that very person start to get attached to that anger even though he knows it makes him miserable.
This happens because of his mind actually reacting to aggression time and time again and eventually getting attached to feeling aggressive.
Here are the solutions that has been mentioned in Buddhism....
Lord Buddha mentioned a direct cure for Aggression and it is called "Meththa".
Here is a Link to Meththa Meditation (Audio file- Click on the link below)
Meththa Meditation
Loving kindness Meditation
Practice these and in a short time you will feel better. Every time you feel anxious or angry start doing this meditation. This does not require you to sit down in a position, you can do this meditation while doing anything that you do. Anger can only be overcome by Kindness & Anxiety can only be overcome by calmness, That's why we are doing this meditation.
Here is a Link on Mindfulness
Mindfulness : Correct observation of thoughts
Also watch -
self-hatred
Meththa sutra
Trauma & Meditation
Useful Meditation practices
Video Links are from - Dhammasith.blogspot.com