If someone is really depressed and having self destructive thoughts and behavior what can i do to help such a person?

Is there a good meditation for such a one?

What kind of advice will it be best for a such a one?

  • Are you asking about suicide?
    – ChrisW
    Commented Nov 2, 2015 at 20:30
  • Well,Alcoholism,Driven by unnecessary physical risks, @ChrisW
    – Theravada
    Commented Nov 2, 2015 at 20:40
  • 1
    See also Compassion to friends: stepping in vs. letting them learn on their own
    – ChrisW
    Commented Nov 2, 2015 at 20:47
  • 1
    Examples of available positive people and things, around all over. Balance of bad and good in life. Pour unconditional unintentional love, even when its only you to do it to him. Try to be social. When found alone that time try meditation to relax restless mind/thoughts, try take a step for own good and positive because otherwise/eventually everybody have to die. Rule of life and death are same for everything. Way of living (a small/simple try to be positive/good) creates the actual (one & only) difference.
    – jitin
    Commented Nov 4, 2015 at 8:41
  • 1
    @Jitin. Could you post your comment as an answer instead? Thank you:)
    – user2424
    Commented Nov 4, 2015 at 15:48

4 Answers 4


Metta meditation can help as it subdues hatred which is a major cause for suicide. Other Samatha meditations like Anapanasati can help to attain extremely pleasant states of the mind like the Jhanas where there's no depression. Vipassana can be practiced to make one not react to unpleasant feelings or thoughts and eventually achieve lasting peace.


I would try to advise the following:

  1. Do some volunteering work, so they will see how valuable they can be in changing the lives of the people in need. Depression can be something people go through when they feel life is not worth living. Helping others should actually bring meaning to life.
  2. Meditate on whatever arises in the mind and know that emotions are just transient and they don't really define anyone. If it is depressed mental state, accept it and meditate on it. Whatever you resist will persist.

  3. Be mindful in everyday life and be thankful for all the things one has and may be for the things one doesn't have as well. Enjoy the small little things you encounter, e.g. nice warm sunshine, clean air, clean running water in one's own home.


Ending one's life prematurely or self-mutilating behavior does not change one's karma for the better, that is to say, if they are in a situation with extreme suffering in the present life, they will continue their suffering in their next lifetime as well. So, one can not escape their suffering. Reverend Kusala Bhikshu is fond of saying, "Karma has no eyes, karma has no ears." No matter how much one tries to escape their suffering they will not be able to escape their past deeds.

Suicidal behavior goes against the first precept which is to avoid killing.

A loving kindness (metta) meditation may be useful. This can be done by first wishing happiness for people that are hostile to the meditator. Then wishing happiness for people that are neutral to the meditator, and then finally wishing happiness for those that are close to the meditator(oneself). This is usually done with eyes closed while sitting on the floor or a chair with some kind of timer.


Let him know that by forfeiting early by self disqualification he will reincarnate again in this realm but have a even harder life.To end his suffering he must endure to the end by helping others get through their trials by being a positive force not a negative force, if we all stay positive the ride will go smooth and the next life and realm will be a precious experience.

I myself choose to stay back in the lower harder realms where much suffering and hardship is experienced,helping the weak get through is worth reliving the agony over and over again.

  • Mr. Cruz your answer has a second part which is not parallel with Buddhism,we as Buddhists do not admire lower realms and no such teachings exist in Buddhism to support a life in lower realms. You say and i quote "I myself choose to stay back in the lower harder realms where much suffering and hardship is experienced,helping the weak get through is worth reliving the agony over and over again" This is not Buddhism this kind of thoughts will definitely give you,your next life in such a realm
    – Theravada
    Commented Nov 5, 2015 at 20:54
  • you seem to have a very wrong idea about realms,this could get you in to trouble.Please refer these links to advance your knowledge in Buddhism mahamevnawa.lk/inenglish and mahamevnawa.lk/inenglish/dhamma-talks
    – Theravada
    Commented Nov 5, 2015 at 20:55
  • Theravada-Staying back to help others is the ultimate sacrifice and the truest act of love for others.Very few are not willing to walk right back out of a heaven when they finally entered.Ill rest when my job is done.Thank you for the link i'll be glad to absorb it. Commented Nov 5, 2015 at 22:44
  • How many do you think there are? I would like to remind you the last words of lord Buddha "Do not be late,come to the path".The dangerous path you have chosen leads to no end. If you think you can see an end to it go see an ant's nest and see if you can count how many are there.And How could you help anyone if you get a bad birth yourself? Then who is there to help you? You are lucky to be Buddhist this life maybe you will be a human in the next life but is there anyone who can make you a Buddhist next time?What if you are born in Afghanistan then you will be an Islamic running for your life!
    – Theravada
    Commented Nov 5, 2015 at 23:34

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