Since my journey began, i have looked to understanding myself and the world that surrounds me. I endeavor to look at my interactions with as many views as possible as well as make attempts to make peace with myself and those of my interactions.
I am frustrated and this sometimes leads to nihilistic views. I cannot express my inability to realize and actualize the concepts offered by the path. I understand it. I comprehend it. I am confounded with what i deem as imbalance. I am grateful and appreciative of my good fortune however i want to realize and actualize so that i can look at all aspects.
There seems to be a disconnect between what i see, feel, hear, smell and taste. It is akin to cognitive dissonance. I understand awareness, mindfulness and realization however it seems to be at polar opposites with the 6 senses or 12 ayatanas.
Actualizing precepts
-- do you mean the five precepts? Do you mean it's difficult to refrain from killing, for example?I am frustrated and this sometimes leads to nihilistic views
-- seems to be the centre of the question ... maybe adding an example of what you're talking about would clarify what you mean by "I am", "frustrated", and "nihilistic views"?I cannot express my inability
-- can you identify a question that you want to ask?realize and actualize
-- this pair of words appears twice, so it's probably significant ... maybe you could explain that further? Is it a quote from somewhere? Have you learned something somewhere which suggests that something is supposed to be "realized and actualized"?a disconnect, cognitive dissonance, polar opposites
-- I don't know, isn't this expected ... the feeling that something is wrong, isn't that ordinary aversion?